


A Bountiful Year

by LibraTraveller



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: (dragon), Dragon transformation, Eggs, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, Hybrid - human/dragon, Infanticide, M/M, Miscarriage, Mpreg, POV First Person, Romance, Shapeshifting, Stillbirth, parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-09
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:06:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 69,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21727231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LibraTraveller/pseuds/LibraTraveller
Summary: Takes place after Season 3 finale.It is the year in which Prince Arthur rules as Regent. Merlin’s life turns upside down when he learns the secret connection between Dragonlords and the Great Dragons. Through pain and joy, and even tragedy, Merlin discovers what it means to love and be loved in all its forms.This is also the story in which Merlin becomes a father to many dragons.
Relationships: Lancelot/Merlin (Merlin)
Comments: 30
Kudos: 221





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Specific warnings will be applied to each chapter.

It had been a gentle winter after defeating Morgana’s and Morgause’s immortal army. Still, we’d been lucky that we had a couple months to get the winter stores ready. So much had been destroyed during that war. Arthur was now Prince Regent and he put all his time and energy into making sure his people wouldn’t starve. 

The first few months passed without incident, although his father, King Uther, hadn’t recovered mentally or emotionally. Guinevere, Morgana’s former maidservant, spent every day tending to Uther. 

As Arthur’s manservant, I had a front row seat to witness Arthur being truly overwhelmed and frustrated with his new responsibilities. I could relate. I’ve had to hide my magic while here in Camelot because of the threat of execution. And considering my responsibility to secretly safeguard Prince Arthur from magical and non-magical dangers alike, I’ve been stressed. 

Only two people in Camelot knew of my magic. One of them was Lancelot. Thanks to his participation in the battle to take back the citadel, Lancelot was one of the men recently knighted by Arthur. I was delighted that Lancelot fulfilled his dream of becoming a Knight. I was happy to have my friend here with me. Some days it felt like Lancelot was the only person who truly understood me.

To be honest, I’d felt a bit stir-crazy this winter. Spring wasn’t going much better. I had never been so exhausted. There was something strange going on with my magic. Gaius never understood it when I tried to explain. Gaius was my mentor and guardian. He was also the Court Physician. He had been helping train me in the control and use of my magic while I’ve been here in Camelot. I was continually grateful to have him by my side. Still, he doesn’t feel magic the same way I do.

Lately, my magic’s had an odd flavor. I’ve always been able to taste my magic. Normally, my magic tastes like a rainy afternoon, a bit of wet grass. But now I tasted something strange. The closest I could compare it to would be charcoal. Everything I ate made me want to gag and I had heartburn beyond belief. Nevertheless, I was always starving. Arthur kept finding me snacking from his fruit bowl. 

Whenever I had the chance to go to the market, I would spend most of my wages on food for Gaius and myself. Gaius noticed my hunger. His response was to raise a single eyebrow at me. I knew he thought it was an authoritative look, but his wrinkled face would contort in a way that made me want to laugh. No matter how much I ate, I wasn’t gaining any weight. I was naturally thin, though stress tended to make it worse. 

Now that Camelot was in the middle of spring, Gaius seemed concerned with my weight. Yesterday he was blunt. “How is it that someone who eats as much as you do, is still so skinny?” I made some excuse alluding to Arthur working me off my feet, but really there hadn’t been any change to my workload. In fact, Arthur spent less time training and hunting, and more time with paperwork. There wasn’t as much for me to do.

Originally, when Arthur took over as Regent, he had me attend council meetings. I always stood behind him, of course. Arthur said he wanted to get my opinion after the meetings ended. More accurately, he wanted someone informed that he could vent at. After his Uncle, Lord Agravaine’s arrival, things changed again. Agravaine vehemently advised him that servants shouldn’t be allowed in council meetings. I was kicked out. Now I spent my days quite bored. Yet I ended every night feeling worn-out.

It was late at night and I was struggling to stay awake. I'd already helped ready Arthur for bed and was now in the Physician’s Quarters eating some early season blueberries. I was waiting for Gaius to get back from assisting with a noble’s birth. It had been around 9 p.m. when a servant had been sent with a request that Gaius aid the midwife. Gaius originally planned to ask me to attend, but he took one look at me and told me to rest. 

Finally, at perhaps 2 a.m., Gaius returned. “How’d it go?” I asked.

“Both the babe and mother live, though I fear she won’t be able to bear another child in the future.” Gaius put away his medicine bag. His shoulder length white hair was greasy and the bags under his eyes were more prominent.

I nodded. “I’m glad you were able to treat them.” 

Gaius sat down with a heavy sigh then looked at me. “Why aren’t you sleeping, Merlin?” Though clearly tired himself, Gaius still gave me a once over. “You’ve been fatigued for weeks now. Yet you don’t seem sick.”

“I know. I don’t know what’s going on with me. But I’m going to head to bed now. I just felt nervous, like I needed to wait up for you.”

Gaius frowned. “I’ve helped in both successful and unsuccessful births before, no reason to worry over me. It is a physician’s life. You cannot save everyone.”

I sighed. “I know. It’s just something about hearing of a new birth. It’s made my chest feel tight. I don’t know why. I’ve assisted with births before. Yet it’s like my magic is trying to tell me something and I don’t know what it is.”

Gaius nodded before shooing me to bed. He told me to not worry about it until tomorrow. Only as I lay in bed I heard a voice clanging around inside my head. Kilgharrah. 

I immediately put on my boots and jacket and headed out of my room. “Merlin?” Gaius had clearly just settled into bed himself. 

“I’ve got to talk to the dragon. He called for me.” I left the room and snuck out through the courtyard and then past the guards at the gate and into the forest. I ran through the trees to get to the clearing. It took me longer than usual as my normal pace turned into a slow jog. My energy levels were depleted.

Once I arrived at the large clearing, I was overcome as always by Kilgharrah’s large frame. His golden and blue iridescent scales sparkled from the moonlight. If I was reading his expression right, I’d say he looked nervous. I was drowsy enough that as soon as I got close enough to talk comfortably, I flopped down onto the grass. 

“Young Warlock, I have news for you. Information that you’ve needed to know before now, but I’ve withheld from you.” I could only squint at him. Kilgharrah’s keeping secrets from me? Not surprising. I closed my eyes in exasperation. “This will not be easy for you to hear, but there is much you don’t know about the Great Dragons and the Dragonlords.”

Curiosity hit me like a lightning bolt to the brain, waking me up to my surroundings. I gazed into his eyes and nodded for him to continue. “The Great Dragons do not have true sexes. We do not birth our own children as other species do. Our eggs come from a different source.” 

This was new. I sat up, giving him my entire attention. My body wasn’t ready to be this awake. I felt sparks in my fingers and toes as my nerves malfunctioned. 

“This is a secret that the Great Dragons and Dragonlords have never shared with the rest of the world. Even your mentor, Gaius, does not know the truth of this. Though I imagine you will tell him soon.”

“Kilgharrah, what are you getting at?”

He blew out a huge breath in front of me and I felt warm air ruffle my hair. “The Dragonlords are considered kin for a reason. They not only are capable of speaking our tongue and commanding us, they are in fact the Fathers of all Great Dragons.

“When a Dragonlord comes into their power it takes about three years for them to become fertile. At that time their magic begins to grow an egg within them. At this stage the egg is a tiny thing. A Dragonlord turns into a dragon for one night so that they can give birth to their dragon egg. The egg also grows bigger during the transformation.” 

Kilgharrah paused, giving time for my lungs to seize up. He continued while I struggled for air. “Merlin, it has been three years since your father died and you became a Dragonlord. I sense in you that you are nearing your first birthing. You may have but a couple weeks until it’s time.”

“Two weeks?!”

“I do apologize, Merlin. I was concerned that early knowledge could have caused fear and stress. It may have harmed the changes your body’s been experiencing.”

My vision started to white out and my ears buzzed. I could barely think. This must be some sort of nightmare. The nausea kicked in quickly. My body was frozen in place, the only thing stopping me from throwing up. “Kilgharrah,” I gasped out. “Is this a joke?”

“It is not. And I must warn you that your birthing may be quite different than it was for past Dragonlords. Though a Dragonlord would normally only have one egg at a time, they’ve been known to have more. And with the Great Dragons decimated by Uther in the Purge, your magic may wish to bring forth more dragons into this world. I cannot predict what will happen. I suggest you bring Gaius to help. I will be here in this clearing when it is time. You need but call for me.”

With my vision still blurry, I begged for information. “How will I know it’s time?”

“Your entire body will start to tingle. It is a warning. For five days the tingling will intensify. You must be here that night on the fifth day. Do not dally.”

My whole body was shaking. All I could think was that I needed more help. “Um, Lancelot. Can he come?”

“Ah, the new Knight. Yes, you will probably need more support to sneak the dragon eggs back into the castle. The eggs must incubate for at least a year. I suggest you create a warm room within the cave I was imprisoned in. Create something that no one can enter without your permission. And make it big.” 

My vision cleared somewhat. As I looked at Kilgharrah, I kept hoping that he would start laughing, but he looked so worried for me. Though I also glimpsed a bit of hope in his eyes. 

“I will see you soon, my Dragonlord.” Then he was gone, launching into the air and flying away. 

I stumbled to my feet with my legs barely holding me up. I weaved through the trees in a daze. My head only cleared when I had to sneak back into the city and then into the castle. By the time I got to my room, I was determined to wake up Gaius. I knew he needed his sleep at his age, but if I didn’t tell someone, I might lose my own sanity.

I leaned over Gaius and shook his shoulder as he lay on his cot. His eyes opened immediately. He took one look at my face and stood up. “My boy, what is wrong? Sit, sit. Let me make us some tea.” As he started boiling water, he also wrapped a blanket around my shoulders.

“Gaius, I know why my magic has felt off. Why I’ve been tired.” I was shaking. “Gaius, I’m scared.” I couldn’t help my eyes watering as I looked at him. This was never something I expected I’d have to worry about. 

“What is it?” He retrieved some cups and put tea leaves in them. He then poured hot water over the leaves. I just watched helplessly as he readied the drinks. Eventually, he spooned out the leaves. 

It was not until I had the warm drink in my hands and took my first sip that I could finally begin to explain. I told him word for word what Kilgharrah said. Gaius’ face was almost as shocked as mine had been. Though it was the sympathy in his eyes that did me in. “I don’t know if I can handle this. Gaius, what am I to do? I know I don’t have a choice, but you should have seen his face. This won’t be an easy thing. It’s not like I’m going to be a chicken.” I laughed harshly. “I’m not ready for this level of pain.”

Gaius sat next to me and pulled me into a firm hug. “You will get through this, Merlin. We need to focus on making that room he mentioned and finding a way to sneak the eggs into the castle.”

“I’m going to talk to Lancelot tomorrow.”

“Good. Merlin, perhaps you should try and get some sleep.” Gaius patted my shoulder. 

I went to my room. I hardly slept, tossing and turning, but I did eventually crash. In the morning, after I got Arthur ready for the day and did most of my chores, I hunted down Lancelot.

He was just returning from delivering his dishes back to the kitchen. Lancelot was my height, though he always seemed taller as I tended to roll my shoulders forward. His hair was as dark as mine, but a much neater cut. He was rarely clean-shaven. Today he had a dusting of beard around his chin and mouth. I wasn’t sure how he made it look so good. He wore a light brown jacket over a green shirt and black trousers. I noticed that his boots were a lot cleaner since he became a Knight. 

Luckily, I caught him an hour before he had to get ready for training. I quickly convinced Lancelot to follow me back to the Physician’s Quarters.

“What’s going on?” Lancelot asked as soon as we arrived.

I was pretty much hopping from foot to foot with nerves. “I know I told you I’m a Dragonlord, right?”

“Yes, Merlin.” He steered me to sit down and then sat across from me.

“Well, I didn’t really know what that meant until last night. Dragon eggs are birthed from Dragonlords.” I watched as his mouth dropped open. “The dragons are formed from magic. I’ll be turning into a dragon myself so I can give birth. It’s something that I can’t prevent. It just happens. 

“I’m asking for your help, Lancelot. Both in being there when I give birth and helping me sneak the egg or eggs into the castle. They won’t be able to hatch for a year.”

Lancelot reached across to grip my hand that was erratically tapping on the table. “Merlin. Friend.” He paused. I looked hopefully at him. “This is the strangest request I have ever received. But of course I will support you. When do you need me?”

“Kilgharrah says I have two weeks. He didn’t give me much information, but he did explain how I’ll know the timing. Will you be available?”

“I’ll make sure I’m not going on any patrols. Will you be okay? You look like a soft breeze could rip you apart.”

I laughed. “I think I’m still in shock, honestly. And nervous. Though I’ve assisted in births with Gaius, and can only really guess what the women go through as far as pain, at least I know how it happens. This, a dragon birthing an egg, it’s a strange concept. I’m just not really able yet to compute what that’ll mean for me. I wish I’d had time to get my head around it. Kilgharrah kept the information from me. Said something about the stress of knowing about it in advance might have harmed me. I’m not sure I agree. But it’s too late now.”

I looked out the window. It was getting late. Chores to do. I squeezed his hand before getting up. “I’m here for you, Merlin,” Lancelot said. “Even just to talk this through.” His smile was half a frown and there was concern in his eyes. He left and I followed shortly after to help Arthur with his armor.


	2. Chapter 2

The cavern beneath the castle was bigger than I remembered. I never really explored it fully before. Now as I walked past where Kilgharrah’s chains had been, I became overwhelmed with the cavern’s size. I worried. I knew that we couldn’t bring the eggs down the way I’d just traveled here. I had to create more than just a room. This task required a path to transport the eggs. Room first. I shook my head to clear my head. I needed to make sure no one could ever find my dragons. 

As I looked for an out-of-the-way spot, I pondered the fact that I was going to be a father to dragons. How do you raise a dragon? I tried to not think about how many dragons I would be taking care of. I knew Kilgharrah was keeping something else from me. He emphasized that this would be my first birthing. How many would I have in my lifetime? I also couldn’t help wishing my father had lived long enough to inform me about all of this. Growing up without a father was hard enough as I didn’t have someone to teach me how to be a man. I had no idea how much I would need his wisdom. 

Balinor wouldn’t have waited until two weeks before my first birthing to warn me. Granted none of this would be happening if he was still alive, but I’m sure he would have warned me anyways. The thought that my father went through this made me smile until I realized his dragons were slaughtered by Uther. It explained a lot about the man he became. 

After a bunch of searching, I stopped. In front of me was the perfect spot. The rock face jutted out thick, but it was clear that any changes I made wouldn’t affect the stability of the cave’s ceiling. I looked behind me to make sure no one had followed me here. It was now an ingrained habit to check before using my magic.

There weren’t any spells among those I’d learned that detailed how to carve out a room inside rock. Instead, I closed my eyes and let my magic flow out of me in all directions. I became a part of the cavern. When I felt that I’d soaked my magic in every direction, I adjusted my focus. I imagined the space I wanted to create. By instinct, I made it larger than originally planned. 

A loud rumble vibrated in the air. I only hoped that no one noticed it from above in the castle. The cavern walls adjusted, large chunks in the middle pushing upwards and out to create an empty room. Once the dust cleared, I walked forward through the six foot opening. My eyes continued to glow as I took it all in. Stacked on top of each other were three shelves that traveled around the circular room. I stepped closer to the shelves on my left. Evenly spaced out on all of the shelves were dips in the surface perfect for holding a large egg.

I nearly fainted when I started counting each dip. Why had I created so many? It must have been a fluke of some sort. There was no way that I would birth that many dragons over the years. When I got to thirty, I stopped. Nope, no more counting. Time to ignore it entirely. Denial, denial. 

I left the Incubation Room after creating a strong illusion that would prevent anyone from seeing the opening. Just to be careful, I made sure that only a Dragonlord could see into that space unless I chose to allow someone’s entry. The last thing I wanted was my eggs being discovered.

Carving out a path that a cart could easily travel through took mere moments as I walked. Though it was quite a long walk. Kilgharrah had traveled up and out of the adjoining cave before he’d attacked Camelot three years ago. So I started creating a path up to that opening. The only challenge was making sure the incline was not too steep. I cast another illusion as I came back down after realizing how dangerous it was to have a path that led straight to where my children would rest.

Back in my room, I crashed on the bed. My back and legs hurt from all the hiking. It was quite late at night when I’d arrived. Gaius had been deep asleep when I passed by him. My dreams that night were strange: I flew high above the forests. When I turned my head to look back, I was disconcerted when I saw down the length of my body. Though the details would be fuzzy when I woke up, I had the body of a dragon with large wings. Little dragons were flying behind me. I struggled to count how many there were. They glided around me suddenly. A laugh bubbled up inside my chest as I began to chase them through the cloudy sky.

I woke up with a smile on my face. The clearest memory of my dream was the feeling of contentment, my chest filled with so much love for them. I carried on smiling as I ate my porridge. Gaius waved a hand in front of my face, startling me. “How did it go last night?” He settled down on the other side of the table.

I set my spoon back into the bowl. “It’s all ready.” I paused in thought. “My magic created a ridiculous number of spaces for dragon eggs. I think it went a little too wild.” 

Gaius only nodded as he ate. “Perhaps your fear of the birth made it exaggerate what you needed?”

I could only agree as I worked hard to shove the image of all those spaces out of my mind. As I dressed in one of my blue tunics and brown trousers, I kept thinking about the eggs. If one egg was normal, perhaps I’d have three? Though in truth, the idea of birthing even one egg was stressing me out. I almost forgot my red neckerchief as I started to leave the room. 

Time to get to work. No more thinking about dragon babies. At least now I knew what was causing my exhaustion. I placed Arthur’s breakfast on the table with eyes only half open. I pulled back the drapes. Arthur groaned as the light hit his face. “Time to wake up, sleepyhead,” I said with a big yawn.

Arthur opened one eye. “What’s with you?” He nevertheless got up and sat down to eat. His blond hair was sticking up in every direction as was usual for him when rolling out of bed. I was too sleepy for the sight to amuse me.

“Nothing. Just tired.” I moved to the wardrobe to select Arthur’s clothes for the day. 

“Yes, well. You’ve been tired for days. Don’t you sleep?” Arthur chewed two sausages at once. It was disgusting.

My eyes lingered on his plate. I was still so hungry. Arthur noticed and tossed his last sausage at me. I lowered my eyes to hide the glow of my magic as I slowed down time to make sure I’d catch it. I gobbled it down quickly. 

“Thanks. And I do sleep. Just weird dreams is all.”

“Oh?”

It took a few moments before I could respond. I had to decide what was safe to reveal. “Just a dream where I was flying. You ever have one of those?”

Arthur laughed. “I have actually. Flying among the clouds. It’s freeing.”

I breathed a sigh of relief while I had my back turned. “The dreams just wake me up occasionally and I find it hard to fall back asleep. That’s all.”

Arthur nodded and let the topic drop. The rest of the day went smoothly. 

The next day on the training field, Lancelot kept giving me sympathetic looks. I didn’t know what to say to him, so I avoided him. The shock had definitely worn off, leaving a buzz of fear that made my neck stiff.

Just as I helped Arthur take off his armor, I felt a sudden pain all over my body. I’d been expecting the tingling Kilgharrah mentioned, but this was more like how your nerves wake up after a limb falls asleep on you. Only it was all over. My fingers fumbled as I was unlatching the straps of his chest plate. Arthur gave me an annoyed look. 

The so called tingling continued, but I managed to get Arthur’s bath ready with only a small amount of difficulty. The rest of the day was just as awful. In the evening I was finally able to return to the Physician’s Quarters. Gaius puttered around with his medicine vials. “It’s started.” I leaned my back against the closed door. I could hardly catch my breath. “Only four more days.”

Gaius’ eyes widened. “Calm down, Merlin. It’ll be alright. We’ll be ready.” He got me to sit down while he rushed around making more tea. “How are you feeling?”

“My whole body feels like it’s about to catch on fire. Gaius, Kilgharrah said it’ll only get stronger. How am I supposed to get any work done if this gets worse?” I knew I was whining. This whole experience felt so strange.

Gaius huffed. “You carry on for another day and then if you can’t do anything more, I’ll tell Arthur you’re sick. I’ve already had Lancelot take a large cart stuffed with blankets to the clearing. He covered it with some brush so no one will find it. All we have to do is sneak you out in a few days.”

I nodded, my teeth clenched. He pushed the tea into my hands. I let the heat of the cup calm some of the pain in my hands. He made me eat some bread and cheese as well. After I finished eating, I looked up towards my room in the back. I wasn’t sure if I’d get any sleep tonight.

He seemed to follow my thoughts. “Here, I have a calming draft. I’d give you a sedative, but who knows the side effects for your condition. This is weak enough, you should be fine.” He handed me a vial and I chugged it back. It tasted disgusting, but I was used to that. After I washed it down with water, I went up to my room.

I changed into my night clothes before huddling under my blankets, my knees curved up to my chin. What was I going to do? If I wasn’t careful, Arthur would discover that something strange was going on with me. Would Gaius’ words of a sickness be enough?

My thoughts calmed as the medicine Gaius gave me took effect. I stretched my body out while staying on my side with one arm underneath my thin pillow. My fingers stroked the sheet in front of my face making mindless patterns. I was going to be a father. Yes, they would be dragons, but my dragons.

I’d had four days to get used to the idea. Too much of it was spent in fear of the birthing itself. Yet now I let myself grin while thinking of what would come later. Baby dragons to raise. I started to imagine them hatching from the eggs and seeing their cute faces and tiny wings. 

I used to imagine having my own children. I even daydreamed about it that day after I told Freya we should run away together. With her death, the dream was shattered, and there was no one with whom I wanted to envision it again. I just stayed busy with work, with protecting Arthur. I stopped looking for someone to care for. Stopped wanting a life with another person.

Even considering I was a Dragonlord, the thought of having my own son seemed pointless. There weren’t going to be any more dragons, so why would I need to pass my ability on? Yet it seemed that the dragon race would continue through me. I guess it was more imperative now that one day I have my own son to pass this gift to. 

My lips twitched. I shrugged my shoulders and huffed out a breath. I would worry about finding someone to bear my child another time. Right now was about having my baby dragons.

Kilgharrah didn’t really explain much about why it was Dragonlords that birthed dragons. Though he emphasized that it was the Great Dragons. Gaius started doing research a couple days ago. He’d discovered that there used to be all sorts of dragons, such as the Wyverns I’d ran into before. The Great Dragons were the only ones that had their own magic to use, not simply made of magic as the other species were. 

Falling asleep, my last thought was ‘How am I going to explain any of this to my mother?’


	3. Chapter 3

The day was too sunny when I woke up. I ached all over. The ‘tingling' was stronger than yesterday. Less pinpricks and more like needles shoved into every bit of skin, including some sensitive places. Walking was quite awkward. I also kept dropping things and consequently Arthur was in a mood the whole day. When passing Lancelot in the hall as I was taking care of Arthur’s laundry, he patted me on my shoulder. I had to hold in a shriek at his touch.

“You okay?” Lancelot whispered.

“Not really. The countdown continues.” I grimaced.

He stretched out his hand to comfort, but pulled back a second later when he recalled my earlier reaction. “I’ll be there. I promise.”

Sleeping was near impossible that night. “Gaius, are you sure you can’t give me a sedative?” I groaned through the door I’d left partially open.

“My boy, I would if I could. Yet I don’t know how it would interact with your system.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Gaius came into my room and sat on the stool beside my bed. He’d brought in a damp hand towel that he gave to me. By now he knew human touch was like an electric shock, so we carefully avoided touching skin as I took the towel and placed it on my own brow. “Is it worse tonight than this morning?”

“No, about the same.” I sighed. The cold towel eased my headache. “I’m going to try and sleep. If I can’t, I’ll just meditate or something.”

“Yes, any type of rest would be good. If you’re worse tomorrow, I’ll send a Page to tell Arthur you’re sick.”

He left my room after blowing out a candle. I’m not sure how long it took to fall asleep, but eventually my mind drifted off despite the pain.

In the morning, I woke up groaning and gasping. Gaius ran up the steps and pushed my door open. “Merlin!” He shuffled to my side. “Tell me what it feels like.”

I forced breath into my lungs and released it shakily. “My muscles are cramping and it feels like my organs want to burst open.”

He placed the back of his hand on my forehead, ignoring my shriek. “You’re hot.” 

Gaius left my room. I could hear him heading out of his quarters and calling to someone. It felt like hours as I waited for him to come back, but I knew it hadn’t been that long. When he did return, he was not alone. I blinked open my eyes.

“I’m here, Merlin,” Lancelot said as his face came into view. “We’re going to get you out of these clothes. Gaius has some nice cold, wet towels. We’ll put them over you, okay?”

I nodded. Getting my clothes off was an exercise in restraint. Every time his fingers touched my skin, a lightning bolt shot through me. I bloodied my lips trying not to scream. By the time they got me settled and began piling the towels on me, I was beyond exhausted. The towels were worth it though. It felt so good. It was a relief from head to toe. 

Gaius and Lancelot conferred outside my door. Their words were just noise I couldn’t understand. I fell into a restless sleep, only waking when the towels were changed. They moved me once to place wet towels underneath me as well. 

At one point I heard Arthur come into the Physician’s Quarters, but Gaius didn’t let him up to see me. I think he was told I was sleeping. I woke up hours later starving. Lancelot came into my room with soup.

“Here, Merlin. Let’s get you sitting.” He wore gloves this time. I smiled my thanks. No more shocks as Lancelot helped me sit up. He then handed me the bowl. It felt odd holding the bowl and spoon as my hands were half numb. In fact I felt a bit numb all over. 

I ate ravenously. Gaius must have noticed because he came up with a plate stuffed with bread, cheeses, and a couple chicken legs. “Eat up, Merlin.” I finished the whole plate. “How are you feeling now?”

“Weird. My insides have settled, but I feel like the rest of me has fallen asleep.”

“Your nerves must have become overwhelmed.” Gaius checked my forehead. “You’ve cooled down.”

Lancelot helped me stand up so they could remove the damp towels. I looked around to see if I had any clean clothes. I thought I should get Arthur’s dinner. I shuffled forward when I spotted a clean pile hidden under a mess of papers.

Gaius shook his head and pushed me back onto the bed. “Bed rest. Who knows what will happen tomorrow. The day after we must get you to the clearing. You stay here for now.” 

“Okay, Gaius.” I pulled the blanket up over my still naked body. I felt strange still. It was almost like I wasn’t really awake.

Gaius walked out of the room after assuring himself I’d stay put.

Lancelot was about to follow when I began biting my lip. “Merlin?”

I blushed. “Help me with the chamber pot?”

I expected him to grimace, but he just nodded. By the time I was back in bed, I was ready to sleep for days. “Rest, Merlin.” Lancelot tucked the blanket around me. “I’ll be back in a couple hours.”

Whether he was back or not I wouldn’t know. I didn’t wake up again until late afternoon the next day.

If I thought day three before the birth was hard, then day four was agony. I spent most of it screaming in my mind, cursing at Kilgharrah for not giving me a real warning. Kilgharrah didn’t answer in words, but I could feel his presence in my mind. I’d expected to feel his amusement. Instead, he used his magic to send a calming influence. It helped some as I rode the waves of pain.

Every cell in my body was getting ready for the change. My magic let me know where the tiny eggs resided within me, but I couldn’t get a sense of a number. I just knew there was life right outside my stomach, my magic protecting them from interfering with the rest of my bodily functions. I also understood that they were getting ready for their own change tomorrow.

What did the pain feel like? I would have compared it to being lit on fire, but it was more of a cold flame. The outside of my body was a glacier that was being shattered into a thousand ice picks that then turned around to stab my insides. My mind barely held onto sanity. I couldn’t scream out loud as my tongue was swollen and my lungs felt congested. 

I couldn’t see either. Still I knew Gaius and Lancelot were taking turns by my side. How they kept Arthur away, I had no idea. The few times I heard words, I knew they’d also turned Guinevere away. Now Gwaine luckily was on patrol. He wouldn’t have taken ‘no’ for an answer.

They weren’t able to get any food in me, but occasionally they managed to get me to swallow some water. The entire day went that way without rest. By the time the sun rose on the 16th of April, I was ready for this torture to end.

“How are we going to get him out of the citadel with the state he’s in?” Lancelot asked Gaius. 

“It’s okay,” I spoke up, though it was more of a croak. It was the first time I’d said a word in more than twenty-four hours.

“Merlin!” Gaius exclaimed as he stumbled up the stairs to my room.

I could tell my eyes were glowing gold when we locked gazes. I felt different. My magic was more active. It was enough to help fight through the pain and clear my thoughts. 

“I can move. We need to leave in the late evening. I’ll change at midnight.” My magic gave me this knowledge. 

“Lancelot, bring him some water,” Gaius shouted.

Soon Lancelot was helping me drink. “Let’s get you dressed,” Lancelot said. He helped me into my breeches and my tunic. My skin was numb and I barely felt his fingers graze my skin. 

“Can you eat?” Gaius asked. 

“Just some bread, please.” I nibbled on the bread before lying back down to nap. I knew my body would wake me when it was time to leave.

It was dark when I woke up. Lancelot put my boots on and helped me stand up. They gave me a robe with a hood over my head so I could hide my eyes. Lancelot walked with me in one direction. Gaius took another route. In the end, I had to use tiny spells to direct the guards from seeing us once we met up to leave into the woods. 

It was due to my magic that I was able to keep taking one step in front of another. I was drawn to the clearing. Little sunbursts blew up along my skin as my magic yearned for release.

Kilgharrah was already there when we arrived. With my mental screams last night he must have known how far along I was. “Young warlock, undress and lie down in the grass.”

Lancelot helped me take off my boots and then my tunic and breeches. My body started shivering as I got down on my knees before lying down.

“Step back!” Kilgharrah shouted to Gaius and Lancelot.

I became swamped with heat as my magic glowed along my skin before digging deep inside. Large fissures exploded around my body and I screamed. My scream turned into a roar as my body adjusted, growing bigger than my mind could comprehend. I passed out for a few moments and when I came to, my sight was blurry. It took ages of blinking, but once my vision cleared, I saw colors in the dark that I never could see as a human even in the daylight. Gaius and Lancelot looked so tiny. 

“Merlin?” Lancelot asked. His voice was a higher pitch to my dragon ears.

“I’m awake,” I said. My own voice was strange too, deeper. “What do I look like, Lancelot?”

He laughed. “Like a dragon. You have crimson colored scales. The red might end up brighter in the sun. You’re not as big as Kilgharrah, maybe two-thirds his size. You’re beautiful, Merlin.”

I could feel a heat all along my side just under what I knew were my scales. I felt it make them lift a little. A dragon could blush? My new body felt strange in other ways too. I felt full. I knew I had eggs ready to drop, but I couldn’t have guessed what that would feel like.

Kilgharrah made a light snort of air. “Gaius, you must check. The eggs should be visible bulges. How many are there?”

I watched as Gaius walked along my side close to where my tail was curled around me. My wings had been spread out so I pulled them to my side. “Oh my!” Gaius blurted.

“What is it?” I asked anxiously. I could hear him muttering.

“How many?” Lancelot asked.

Gaius walked back into my line of sight. “Merlin, you have twelve eggs ready to birth.”

“TWELVE??!” I roared though it came out more like a shrill squeak. “That can’t be right,” I said a little more calmly. I was in denial. “Kilgharrah, tell him that’s not possible.”

Kilgharrah laughed. “I cannot, young Dragonlord. Your magic does what it wants. With you, anything is possible.”

I started spluttering as I tried to breathe through my panic. Lancelot started rubbing his hand over my snout. “It’s okay, Merlin. You can do this. Just relax.”

Kilgharrah stopped laughing and took on a more comforting persona. “I have been present for many such births in my long years. Usually, another Dragonlord would be here to talk you through it, but we are all here for you.” Kilgharrah then told Gaius and Lancelot to step back. He blew a yellow mist that spread out from my head down my entire body. “This will help some with the pain. Merlin, you must not fight what your body does, you understand? It will hurt, but you must ease into it. If you feel the need to push, you push.”

“I’m not going to accidentally blow fire during it, will I?”

Kilgharrah laughed again. “No, that is something I’ll have to teach you. Do not worry. We’ll wait until much later to teach you how to breathe fire.” Kilgharrah then moved back so Gaius and Lancelot could get ready. Lancelot brought the cart closer to me. 

Gaius set a blanket in place on the ground. “Lancelot, I’ll help deliver each egg. You stay by Merlin’s head and try to comfort him. Then I’d like you to put each egg in the cart. I’m glad the cart is so big.”

I gasped as I felt a change. The first egg was moving. Lancelot muttered comforting words as he stroked my head. This must be the strangest thing Lancelot had ever experienced and I was so grateful he was here.

This movement took some time. Then from one moment to the next the shifting feeling turned into straight pain as I felt my insides clench. I started to think I wasn’t going to have to push. My body was going to push for me and it was horrible. I felt like I was going to pass out. I focused on Lancelot’s words. I couldn’t understand them anymore, but held onto the sound. Gaius was saying words too, but he was too far down from my ears to hear them as anything but a slight murmur.

Oh, nope, I was wrong. Now it was time for me to push as a different pressure assaulted me. I strained and strained, screaming to the sky until I felt the egg leave me. I knew I’d been successful as Lancelot left my head and ran to Gaius to put the egg in the cart. 

“What does it look like?” I gasped when he returned. 

“A midnight blue,” Lancelot said with a smile as I focused on his face. 

I didn’t have long to imagine the egg as the next one was coming. Lancelot described the color of each egg, many of them quite different. I’d just delivered the sixth egg when I started crying, tears splashing to the ground. I never knew dragons could cry. I couldn’t help it, but I was fighting my body. I couldn’t do this anymore. Gaius came up to my head. “Merlin, just breathe. You’re halfway there. You’re doing great.”

“It hurts, Gaius. I can’t.”

“You can. Just focus one at a time.” Gaius patted the scales on my neck and then got back in position.

“Come on, Merlin. You’ve got this.” Lancelot grinned at me. I closed my eyes.

Five eggs later, Lancelot got my attention. “Just one more, Merlin. And this will be over.”

The pain of the last egg was just as agonizing as all the others. When it was out, I could hear Lancelot placing the egg on the cart. But then my body exploded on me in an inferno as I shrunk. My vision went black as I fell unconscious.


	4. Chapter 4

The stars sparkled in the night sky above me when I opened my eyes. I was human again. I looked down my body and saw that Gaius and Lancelot had dressed me. I groaned. My whole body ached. At least my magic had settled down. “Merlin?” Lancelot sat beside me. He wrapped his arm around my side as I got up on my knees. I took several deep breaths before I stood with his help.

“How do you feel, my boy?” Gaius patted my forehead with a handkerchief. 

I leaned against Lancelot to support my weight. “Like I just gave birth.” My grin turned into a slight grimace.

Lancelot snorted. “Want to see your hard work?”

I nodded. Gaius grabbed my other arm and together they helped me walk to the cart.

I leaned on the edge of the cart to look at the eggs. They were all roughly the same size, a foot long teardrop shape. All of them were different colors. Five were various shades of blue. Three were vibrant reds. Two were green as grass. One was a golden yellow. The last was an almost milky silver. “They’re gorgeous,” I whispered. And that was just the eggs themselves. One day the dragons would hatch. My babies. Tears spilled down my cheeks as I became overwhelmed with love for them.

Lancelot hugged me from behind. “You did great,” he whispered in my ear. 

“You ready to get them to the cavern?” Gaius asked. 

I wiped the tears off my face. “Yeah, have to get them settled.” I looked back to Kilgharrah. “Thank you, my friend.”

Kilgharrah sighed with contentment. “It was my pleasure to be a witness. Be light with your magic use for a couple days. I will see you soon.” And with that he lifted off and flew away. 

“What did he mean when he said he’d see me soon?” Gaius and Lancelot both shrugged. Clearly, I’d missed something while I was unconscious. There wasn’t time though to interrogate them. 

Lancelot did most of the pushing of the cart. I walked beside my dragon eggs while gazing down at them. I also focused a small bit of magic around me to sense for any danger. 

We got them into the cavern easier than I’d expected. We had to travel up a path far from the castle and through a cave that led far down into the cavern. All my hard work in fixing the path worked. I had torches attached to the cavern walls that lit the way. It took the last of the hours of the night to get to the room though. My legs trembled by the time I helped Lancelot push the cart into the Incubation Room. 

I picked up the first egg, one of the blue ones. I went to the shelves closest to the left of the entryway. I gently placed the egg on the top shelf. It looked beautiful sitting up there. Gaius and Lancelot both offered to help with the others, but I shook my head. I needed to be the one to put them in their new home. I carefully transferred the other eleven eggs. As I placed each one, I lingered with one last touch. Under my breath, I said to each, “Sleep, my Dragon Child.” Gaius and Lancelot watched in silence.

I suddenly realized how cold the room felt. The eggs needed heat. I closed my eyes and searched my mind for a warming spell, one I wouldn’t need to refresh too often. Finding the right one I cast the spell. The room heated up immediately. 

I looked around at the torches in the room. It would be better if I could create a grate over a fire that was magically maintained to keep the room warm. A task for another time. Gaius had told me a few days ago that dragon eggs only needed to stay warm that first year. After that they could last many years, centuries even, before they had to hatch. I didn’t plan to wait that long.

“Did you know?” Lancelot asked when I was finished.

“Hmm?” I mumbled.

“There are so many places for the eggs.”

“Oh, I’m sure my magic was just going too wild.” I was so sleepy.

Gaius settled some blankets on the ground. “Why don’t you sit for a moment,” Gaius said. I did as he bid and sat on the blanket. “Kilgharrah gave us some news. He thought we should wait until now to deliver it.”

“What did he say?”

Lancelot sat down beside me. “He said that you’ll be fertile for the next six months.” Lancelot continued, “He believes based on what happened tonight that you’ll have eggs to deliver every two weeks or so. He could already sense new eggs forming in you shortly after you transformed back.” Lancelot squeezed my hand.

“What?” I looked at Gaius. “He said what?” Gaius only nodded. I looked around the room. So many spaces for eggs. My magic knew. I couldn’t count each space. I didn’t want to know, not yet. I couldn’t think about this right now. Lancelot pulled me towards him and rubbed my back. Without thinking about it, I leaned my head on his shoulder. 

Ten minutes later, I pulled away. “Could you two leave me? I want to just sleep here tonight with them.” I looked first at Gaius and then to Lancelot.

Gaius hesitated before smiling gently. “You’re still officially sick. As long as no one’s discovered us missing, I don’t see why you can’t stay down here for a few hours.”

They left to sneak up into the castle. I just hoped they knew how to get past the guards. I threw the rest of the blankets on the ground. I also scrunched one into a pillow. I lay down facing the eggs. Despite the warmth of the room, I felt a chill deep inside. I pulled the blankets tight around me before letting my eyes close. I was with my new family. 

Hours later I woke up. I had no idea how much time had passed, but I was quite hungry. I ignored my stomach so I could walk around looking at all the eggs for several minutes. They were all so stunning. I couldn’t believe that soon enough there would be more of them. 

Cautiously, I traveled up into the castle. By the time I’d made it to my room to bathe and change, I’d discovered it was early morning. I must have only slept for a handful of hours. Gaius was still snoring. There was a pail of water in my room. Lancelot must have gotten it before he went to sleep. I washed carefully. I was sticky with sweat. 

I knew that it wasn’t this body’s form I’d given birth in, but I was sensitive all over and not just from the transformation. My human body knew the trauma I’d been through. After I cleaned and dressed, I snuck past Gaius and ate some berries as well as a stew I warmed up with a spell. To be honest, despite what Kilgharrah said, my magic felt fine. I certainly wouldn’t use any big spells though. I didn’t have the energy.

I felt like a different person. What I’d been through was indescribable. Nothing would be the same for me now. I tried to not think about how I’d be doing this over and over again all through the rest of spring, into the summer and part of fall. There were things to consider, such as how I was going to hide this from Arthur. I also thought how impossible it would be to get to that clearing every time. Though I didn’t want to think how much more painful it would be without Kilgharrah’s magic. 

How was I going to make sure I stayed in the citadel for the next six months? Of course as long as Arthur stayed here, it wouldn’t be a problem. I’d also need to hide this from Lord Agravaine. He already didn’t like me. He might be a challenge.

I settled down to sleep. As far as Arthur knew I was still sick. I would rest as long as I could. I drifted off. I dreamed of flying again with my children beside me. Right before I woke up, I could swear I heard my father speak. “I’m proud of you, son.” I blinked. The sun was bright. It was late afternoon and I was starving.

Cheerfully, I pulled down the blanket. Gaius had already done his rounds when I came out of my room. He’d been brewing more medicine, but paused to look at me. My smile must have been noticeably bright because Gaius raised both his eyebrows at me.

“Gaius, you look exhausted.” I grinned.

He ignored my words and walked up to me. “How are you feeling?”

“Hungry.” I looked to make sure the door was shut tight and then lowered my voice. “I need to feed the next set of little ones now.”

Gaius laughed. He said just as quietly, “You sound excited.”

“Don’t get me wrong. Last night was horrible. I never knew such pain before.” A shudder ran through me at the memory. I shook my head. “But as I tried to fall asleep, I kept glancing at the eggs. I realized how much I am looking forward to them hatching. And now I can’t wait to see what the rest of the eggs will look like.” I sighed a bit. “I can’t stop what’s going to happen. So I might as well let myself be happy about it.”

Gaius pulled me into a hug. “You, Merlin, are amazing. Don’t let anyone tell you different. Come, I have a new stew. I was glad to see you ate some of the previous one when you came back earlier.” 

I inhaled the food. “You think I’ll be able to go back to work tomorrow?”

“That’s up to you, Merlin.” Gaius sat across from me looking through a book. “Kilgharrah said he expected an entire two weeks for them to grow before your body started to show signs of changing.” Gaius gave me a look. “And I told him off for calling it just a ‘tingling’. Stupid lizard. More of a warning might have been nice.”

“You’re telling me,” I winced. “Gaius, I was thinking. I’m going to create a birthing room. We were lucky to have such good weather. And now that I know how big I’ll get, I can set it up.” I sighed. “There’s no way to guarantee that either you or Lancelot will be able to be present for every birth.” Gaius started to speak, but I raised my hand. “Six months. Who knows what could happen in that time. You both might be busy. We do need to make sure I don’t leave the citadel. No easy way to make sure I’d get back in time.”

Gaius closed the book. Based on his expression, I could tell he’d already thought this through. “I will tell Arthur that you have a sickness that ravages the body for many months. It won’t be contagious and you’ll occasionally be able to work before succumbing again. This will get him used to you being unable to serve him and will also explain any sudden disappearance.”

I nodded. “But how am I supposed to protect him during all of this?”

“You’ll have to trust in his knights when he leaves the castle. While he’s here, you do your best to prevent any problems. Just don’t wear yourself out, Merlin.”

“I’m worried about Agravaine. He’s already watching me suspiciously. I think there’s more going on with him.”

“You suspect him of being a danger to Arthur?”

“I don’t know. Just a feeling.” I sighed and got up to go back to bed. I was tired already. “I’ll be careful around him,” I decided. “Good night.” I chuckled when I noticed Gaius looking out the window. It was still sunny. I decided sleeping the day away would be a good use of my time.

Once in my room I crashed. Everything was topsy-turvy in my head. I was glad I’d never bothered to put my boots back on. I fell asleep immediately in the clothes I’d been wearing as soon as I hit the bed.

The next day I woke up to Arthur whispering with Gaius. I stumbled out of my room, gingerly walking down the stairs.

“Merlin! You’re alive,” Arthur shouted.

The echo of his words ringed a bit in my ears. “Yeah, Prat, I’m alive.” I sat down at the bench. I could barely keep my eyes open. Gaius plopped a bowl of porridge in front of me. 

“You think you’re ready to come back to work?” Arthur asked hopefully.

“Maybe.” I looked at Gaius. 

Gaius straightened up. “I told him about the illness I think you have. Arthur, he will have the occasional flare up for many months now. Give him light work. If he starts acting like he’s in pain, get him back to me for bed rest.”

I groaned. “I’m fine, Gaius.”

Arthur patted my shoulder, though I knew he wanted to smack the back of my head. “I’ll take care of him, Gaius. Stubborn man," he muttered. "Merlin, I just want you to polish my spare armor and practice swords. It’s a nice day, you can do this outside while I’m training. I’ll be out there momentarily. Just show up when you’re ready.” Then he left.

Once the door closed, I grinned at Gaius. “Hush,” he whispered. “Finish your porridge.”

After I ate and dressed, I walked to the armory. I was glad Arthur only wanted me to take care of the spare armor and practice swords. This meant I didn’t have to go traipsing back to his chambers. I was also thankful because the more steps I took the more I felt the residual aches from the birthing. I hoped those cleared up soon because I knew how achy I was leading up to the first birth. I didn’t need both pains piling up.

As I grabbed the supplies and got myself settled on a stump outside, I tried to relax. I watched the knights go through their exercises. Arthur was mostly just instructing. He kept looking back to the castle like he had paperwork to get back to. And then he’d glance at me. He was out here for me, I realized. He wanted to make sure I got some sun. I smiled and got back to work. After I finished polishing each practice sword, I sanded it to make sure it was blunt. I had a bunch to get through. 

Lancelot took a water break to come stand beside me. “How are you feeling, Merlin?”

I sighed. “I ache a lot. But I’m good otherwise.” I rubbed my neck. When he just kept looking at me. I laughed. “I’m fine. I promise.” I looked around to make sure no one was taking notice of us. “I’m actually a bit giddy.”

He grinned and patted my back. “I’d better get back to it. We’ll talk later.”

After the practice was done, Arthur came over to hover. 

“I’ve finished with polishing the armor. And the swords,” I told him.

“You remembered that practice swords aren’t supposed to be sharp, right?”

“I’m not actually an idiot, Arthur.”

Arthur laughed. “I know.” He then shouted for some Pages to put everything away. “You’re to return to Gaius now. You’re done for the day.”

“But Arthur,” I whined.

“I want you well rested so you can bring me breakfast tomorrow.” He started to walk back into the castle. He turned quickly. “I mean it, Merlin. Straight to Gaius. Read a book or something.”

I nodded and watched as the others put everything away. Lancelot walked with me. “You coming with me because Arthur asked you to?”

“He did ask. But I would have joined you anyways. Gaius said he had something to discuss with me.”

Once we were back in the Physician’s Quarters, I flopped onto the bench. I was honestly glad I was done for the day. The pain in my back had only gotten worse. Lancelot waited with me. Gaius was in the lower town according to the note he’d left.

The door was shut, but just in case, Lancelot made sure no one was walking by. “How are you really, Merlin?”

“I told you.”

“I can see that you’re hurting,” Lancelot admonished.

I grumbled before straightening up. “It’s like my body no longer feels right. Part of it is simply residual from the change and the pain that led up to it. But the rest?” I groaned. “My mind remembers the pain of the birth,” I said quietly. “And for some reason so does my body. Only I don’t have some of those parts anymore so it’s just a general throbbing in my lower half. Even my legs and arms hurt for some reason, as if I clenched all my muscles during it.” 

I was trying to not whine, but I knew it was coming off that way. Lancelot kept his eyes focused on me. I huffed. “And I’m having the same exhaustion from before, and the same heartburn despite being so darn hungry all the time.”

Lancelot sat next to me and rubbed my lower back. “You can vent to me all you want, Merlin. You don’t have to hold back.”

“Six months, Lancelot,” I whispered harshly. “I’m going to be this way for six months,” I repeated. “It’s really not fair. Yesterday I was just so happy. I was a bit happy earlier today too, but now. Now I can’t stop thinking about how awful I feel.”

“You should visit them tomorrow. Remind yourself why you’re happy.” Lancelot started massaging my shoulders.

“I told Gaius that I need to make a birthing room. Going out to the clearing each time is likely impossible. And if something happens, if for some reason neither of you can be there, I need to be prepared to do it on my own.”

Lancelot huffed a bit. “I wish I could promise I’d be there every time. But I can’t predict the future.” 

“Just try and be there the next time,” I pleaded. 

“I will do my best.” Lancelot got me to stand up and led me to my room. “You should rest. I’ll stay with you until Gaius gets here.”

“Thank you.” I pulled the blanket up to my chin. The massage helped. I still hurt, but I could focus on that one relaxed part of me and let it spread out to the rest of my body. It was only as I drifted asleep that I realized Lancelot had been holding my hand and rubbing his thumb over my wrist.


	5. Chapter 5

It was a beautiful day out, sunny with just enough clouds to make the sunrise breathtaking. I lingered at the window to enjoy the view before heading out to get Arthur’s breakfast. As I waited for his breakfast tray to be prepared, I leaned against the counter to hold up some of my weight. My reflection in the large sauce pan showed a flush on my cheeks. The kitchen staff kept sending me sympathetic smiles. 

As I was leaving, Guinevere came in for the King’s breakfast. “Merlin, how are you feeling? We were all quite worried for you.”

“Hello, Gwen.” In truth she appeared just as worn out as I felt. I couldn’t imagine tending to Uther in his condition. Occasionally, I went with Gaius when he attempted to treat him. There wasn’t much that could be done. Uther was suffering from a deep depression that was affecting his ability to function. Part of me wondered if there was any magic I could use to help him. Of course, I’d be doing it for Arthur. Gaius told me months ago it wasn’t worth my life if I were caught. Besides, he knew no spell that could heal a broken mind.

“I’ll come with you,” Gwen said. “Arthur told me yesterday he wanted to eat breakfast with his father.” Guinevere quickly retrieved a tray and then we started walking towards Uther’s chambers. “Don’t think I’m going to let you get away with it.”

“With what?” I’d perfected the puzzled look.

“How you feel! You’re paler than a ghost.” Guinevere winced. She never liked to insult someone. I appreciated her honesty though.

“Thanks,” I groaned. “I’m better. Truly.” She eyed me expectantly. “It was right awful.” I shuddered. “Gaius expects it’ll happen a lot for several months now.”

Guinevere frowned. “But what happened? No one was allowed to see you. Though for some reason Lancelot was allowed in. I never knew you two were that close.”

I couldn’t help smirking. She sounded jealous that she wasn’t able to help. “Gaius needed someone to help move and undress me. I had quite a fever. They wrapped me up in wet towels.”

“Oh!” Guinevere’s face turned bright red. I’d never see her blush like this before.

My heart felt light. I couldn’t stop giggling. Guinevere hit my arm, but it just made me laugh harder. I finally stopped as we got to Uther’s chambers. We entered the room in a more somber mood before I went to wake up Arthur.

It was a dreary meal to observe. Arthur ate his food slowly as he tried to engage his father in conversation. Uther didn’t say anything and didn’t touch his food. In fact, he mostly looked out the window. Seeing Uther like this was awkward for me, though I couldn’t find much sympathy for him considering all he’d done. No, what hurt was the deep pain I saw in Arthur’s eyes. 

I didn’t get to know my father. Yet if my mother was sick in this way I would be absolutely heartbroken. I hated seeing Arthur experience this. Arthur was my friend. Yes, technically he was more my master than anything else. Yet I couldn’t care less about that role. It was his friendship that mattered to me.

After breakfast, Arthur dismissed me to aid Gaius. I decided now was my chance to see my dragons. By the time I made it to their temporary home beneath the castle I was drained. My legs were trembling and I was short of breath.

I sat on the blankets for several minutes before finally pulling myself up to get a closer look at the eggs. Their beauty still made my heart pound. I couldn’t believe they came from me. I was afraid to touch them. They were in their new home and shouldn’t be disturbed. It must have sapped their strength when they transformed alongside me. 

The blankets were inviting. Perhaps a short nap would be okay. I stretched out on the blankets, but continued to stare at the eggs until my vision went blurry and my mind fuzzed over. I don’t know how long I slept. Once I woke up, I struggled to move. I tried stretching, but all my muscles were stiff. The throbbing I mentioned before to Lancelot was still there, but maybe less intense. There was no way I’d have the energy to create that birthing room. 

Instead, I snuck back up to my room. The sun was still out luckily. I ate some bread and cheese and then went to sleep some more. Gaius woke me up some hours later. “Merlin, I have dinner ready.”

With a long groan I got to the table. “Thank you.” The chicken smelled amazing. My stomach rumbled before I could even take a bite. After I finished eating, I sat in a bit of a haze.

“Lancelot and I talked today.” Gaius tutted at me. “You didn’t tell me how much you were hurting yesterday. How is it today?”

I shrugged. “Maybe a little bit better?”

“Still bad, yes?” Gaius grabbed a vial. “This will help with the pain. I give it to all the women after they give birth.”

I looked at it dubiously. “But I’m not done giving birth, you’re sure this won’t harm them?”

“It’s fine. I conferred with Kilgharrah that night. He thinks a potion for pain will have no effect as your magic is protecting them. Drink up.”

The liquid was sour and thick. It was a short struggle to swallow it. Still I was grateful. Even though there wasn’t an immediate reaction, I trusted in Gaius’ potions. I looked out the window. “I should get Arthur’s dinner.” Dammit, I was late.

“No need. The other servants are tending to him.” Gaius started to turn away, but then remembered something. “Arthur checked up on you.” 

My eyes widened in surprise. Good thing Arthur didn’t come when I was with my eggs. “He does care.” I didn’t mean to say that out loud. 

“Yes. He watched you sleep for a half hour. Afterwards he told me how glad he was you were resting. Said you looked awful during breakfast.” Gaius flipped through some books.

“He barely said a word to me. He was focused on his father.” I sighed. “I guess nothing gets past him even when he has other things to worry about.” Gaius hummed in response. “Well, night.” Gaius didn’t even bother looking surprised as I went back to my room. 

I left a candle lit and started reading a magical creatures book. Gaius found information about dragons in this book. There was actually a lot about the minor dragons’ anatomy and how they procreated. The more I read the happier I was that I got pregnant with magic. The entire mating process sounded painful.

I paid particular attention to what happened when the eggs were birthed. All the eggs were housed in an oviduct just like other reptiles. The eggs would leave through the cloaca same way as my waste would if I were to stay in dragon form long enough. Though these dragons usually only lay one egg, they could lay more in rapid succession. When I had all those eggs piled up in the oviduct it would have been pressing against my gastrointestinal tract and the eggs would be bulging against the wall of my body. Thinking of the pain I went through I could visualize the stages. I wasn’t sure if this was helping or not. It did make me thankful for Gaius’ help.

I had no idea how anyone figured this out, even the minor dragons were dangerous to get close to. The next page had a drawing of their innards. I wanted to hurl. It did explain how they studied it. As a Dragonlord, the thought of them being dissected made me so angry. I had to remind myself that this information was helping me visualize what I went through. It allowed me to take note of how those dragons positioned themselves in birthing. This would be important later on. If I was going to do this on my own, I would need to use this position to protect the eggs.

I fell asleep with the book on my chest. Luckily, none of the dreams were memorable. When I woke up in the morning, I felt well rested.

The next five days I kept taking the medicine Gaius gave me. It really helped. Arthur still gave me only a little to do in the morning. Afternoons were free. I spent them with my eggs though I didn’t fall asleep in the room again. I just sat singing lullabies my mother had taught me.

On the sixth day I finally felt well enough to make a room for the birthing. I made the room as close to my Incubation Room as I could. It took me hours to figure out what I’d need. I’d also brought down a few pieces of hay with me and used a spell to multiply them until they covered most of the floor. It was like a large nest. I decided to call it the Birthing Chamber. I hoped I wasn’t going to have to use it every time. I wanted to have at least one more time with Kilgharrah’s help.

Lord Agravaine was no longer paying attention to me. Out of sight, out of mind, I guess. I knew that something was going on with him, but with everything else going on personally, I really didn’t have the time to figure it out. I still tried to pay attention to gossip to make sure no one in the castle was acting strange, but my heart wasn’t in it. I was too distracted. Which is probably why I missed the assassin that tried to kill Arthur. I heard about it later that night. Of all people, Gwaine, who had just gotten back from a rather long patrol, protected Arthur and killed the assassin. For some reason Arthur was walking the castle halls unarmed.

“Gaius, I screwed up. I’m not doing my job.” My hand barely held up my head. I was this close to falling asleep at the table. My tone was angry even as I fought off a yawn. This was so unfair. 

“I know you’re frustrated, Merlin, but there are other people in this castle that are actually paid to protect Arthur. You’re doing your best. Besides, the assassin didn’t have magic. Your skills weren’t needed.” Gaius then raised his eyebrows at me. “Get some sleep or I’ll send for Lancelot so he can carry you to bed.” For some reason that made me blush. 

The next morning, I woke to a tingling all over. It hadn’t been two weeks! The tingling increased day by day, but it was nowhere near as bad as before. Gaius kept me on bed rest anyways. Unfortunately, a sickness started in the lower town. “I’m sorry, Merlin. I don’t know that I’ll be able to accompany you.” 

Gaius then spent a couple hours lecturing Lancelot. I had never seen Lancelot so pale. Lancelot had a quite serious expression on his face despite that. His next task was to move the cart that had been left with the eggs.

The night of the fourth day, Lancelot anxiously sat by my side. “You seem better.” 

I grimaced. “It hurts a lot less.” I then groaned. “That first time was torture, like being pulled apart by hundreds of pliers.”

“What does it feel like now?” Lancelot gripped my hand.

“Like I’m being stretched on a rack.” I bit my tongue to hold in a moan.

Lancelot sighed and rubbed his thumb against my wrist. “How is that not torture?”

“I guess it is. But not as bad.” I laughed bitterly. “Not really good with similes right now. At least human touch isn’t hurting this time around.”

“Would that help?”

“Would what help?” I looked in his eyes. He was captivating.

“Here.” Lancelot stood up. “Let me hold you through this.” He didn’t give me time to respond before he’d moved me in the bed so he could spoon behind me. “Better?”

So much better. I let myself fall against him. Every time I had to ride the pain he was there rubbing circles on my stomach. “Thank you,” I sighed. Being in his arms, I was finally able to sleep. 

The next morning was April 29th. My second birthing was tonight. Lancelot made sure I ate some bread. It was almost time. My magic was showing itself in my eyes again, so he made sure all the doors were locked before pulling me into his arms again as we stretched out on the bed.

I barely remembered getting to the clearing. I relied on Lancelot the whole way. I had to use the dragon tongue to call Kilgharrah. “You’re early,” were the first words Kilgharrah spoke when he landed.

“Did you know the first transformation would be the worst? This wasn’t as bad,” I said. Lancelot nodded in agreement.

“It was a possibility. I apologize for the lack of warning earlier. I forgot that the first birthing is so difficult. Your body must get used to becoming a dragon. I will teach you how to make the change on your own one day. It is your children that are forcing your body to transform. It is almost time, you should get ready.”

I had enough strength to undress by myself, but I let Lancelot help me. It comforted me to let him take care of me. I lay down in the grass. Lancelot stepped back. 

A bright glow blinded me as my body exploded. The rapid growth was less scary this time. I was still panting afterwards. The feeling of fullness was stronger than I remembered. It was an ache.

“Lancelot?” I focused on him. “Find out how many, please.”

He nodded shakily before walking down the length of me. He came back even more pale. “A baker’s dozen?” he hazarded. 

“Thirteen?” I groaned. “Please count again.”

Lancelot was sweating when he walked back to me. “More like fourteen.” He rubbed my snout as I started breathing heavily. “You’ll do fine. One at a time. I’m here with you.”

“It’s starting!” I shouted. Lancelot jogged into position. 

It was then that I realized Kilgharrah didn’t give me a spell for the pain. And boy was that noticeable. The first part as the egg shifted made tears swell in my eyes. The clenching made me shout out loud. I really wanted Lancelot up here with me even though I needed him down there. When the pressure started I was lost in the pain. I wasn’t pushing. It hurt too much. Kilgharrah moved closer and nudged my head with his. He didn’t say anything, yet the movement broke me out of the despair and I started pushing. It seemed to take forever before I felt it leave me. 

Lancelot jogged up to me. “You’re doing great, Merlin. It’s a bright yellow like the center of a daisy. You’ll love it.” I could only nod my head. “Just breathe.” Then he left.

The nightmare continued. I kept count. Two, three, four, five, six, seven. I was screaming so much I was surprised the Knights hadn’t arrived to investigate the noise. Eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve. This was the amount last time. Why did it have to be more? Thirteen, and finally fourteen. Lancelot ran up in a panic. “Merlin, don’t give up now. I may have miscounted. You’ve got one more.”

“What? Damn you, Lancelot.” If I could have blown fire I’d have singed off his hair. He only grinned at me.

Fifteen. This time I fought my magic for a moment. I needed a breather before I transformed back. I could only fight it for a few minutes though. My body exploded again, only I couldn’t pass out this time. I felt as my cells shrunk and the extra pieces compressed into nothingness.

I was human again. I sobbed. It hurt so bad. Lancelot had an extra blanket. He wrapped me in it and pulled me into a sitting position against his chest. “Just breathe, Merlin. It’s over. You did great.” He continued saying all the comforting words he couldn’t say when he was otherwise occupied. I couldn’t stop crying. I could feel him kissing my head as he massaged my neck. I had never felt so loved. I didn’t know what I did to deserve him.


	6. Chapter 6

The fifteen eggs looked stunning next to the other twelve. As before, I made sure I placed each of them myself. Three were a variety of yellow. This included the first egg I birthed: the color of a daisy. The other two yellow eggs reminded me of lemons and honey. There were five green ones this time, one of which looked like an emerald. The other four were the colors of mint, cucumbers, grasshoppers, and jade. One egg was the orange color of a carrot. There were two purple ones that reminded me of wild indigo. Also a pink one: a shade of color you only see in a sunset. When I picked up the two that were a creamy white, I noticed they had a light blue sheen if you held them a certain way. The last one made me think of copper and had a metallic shine to it.

After I finished, I turned to Lancelot with a big grin stretched across my face. Lancelot laughed and hugged me. “I want that smile on your face whenever you think of them, you hear me?”

“You think I could get away with sleeping here again?” I couldn’t keep my eyes off the eggs, even as I was still in Lancelot’s arms.

“If it’s okay with you, I’ll stay this time and wake you in a couple hours. I’ll be your excuse on the way to your room, yeah?”

“Okay.” We stretched out on the blanket, and I laid my head on his arm. I knew that Lancelot and I weren’t really a thing. We’d only ever been friends. This whole situation was starting to give me different ideas though. Even if nothing ever came of it, it was a pleasant thought. I watched the eggs until I fell asleep. But I didn’t dream of flying. I dreamt I was having a picnic with Lancelot and together we watched the baby dragons fly above us.

He woke me up after a couple hours, just like he said he would, and we left the Incubation Room. No one actually noticed us once we got past the guards by the dungeons. After Kilgharrah escaped, there was less reason to guard the entrance. I guess Uther didn’t think anyone other than a dragon could get back down. It was that worry that had me cast an illusion earlier that night to hide the entrance into the cavern. The use of magic had made it much harder to keep walking, but I’m still glad I’d used the spell.

Once in the Physician’s Quarters, I noticed that Gaius wasn’t back yet. There was a note in Gaius’ script telling me where to find medicine for the pain. When I picked it up, it smelled just like what he’d previously given me so I downed it quickly. “Will you be okay?” Lancelot asked nervously.

“I should be.” I started going to my room.

Lancelot hummed in agreement. “I’ll be back in the morning for a few minutes just in case Gaius is still held up.”

“You worry too much.” I smiled. I closed the door to my room and listened as Lancelot made sure everything was secure before leaving.

I woke hours later to Gaius’ and Lancelot’s voices. I definitely still hurt. I couldn’t help groaning. Lancelot was in my room before I could make another noise. Gaius followed at a more sedate pace. I imagined he was aching himself after working all night. Lancelot let Gaius sit on the stool while he just hovered at the foot of my bed.

“My boy, how did it go?”

“Kilgharrah is a jerk. He didn’t give me the same spell. It was ten times worse.” Gaius raised his eyebrow. “Okay, three times worse. Still really bad. I don’t know how I’ll do this on my own if anything happens.” My breath kept hitching as I got worked up.

Lancelot immediately helped me sit up. He settled behind me with his arms wrapped around my middle. Gaius’ eyes got big, but he didn’t say anything. “Breathe, Merlin,” Lancelot reproached me. I took deep breaths until I calmed down.

“You took the potion last night?” Gaius asked. I nodded. “Good, I’ll get you another one.” He then addressed Lancelot. “I don’t have any food right now, maybe you can get the three of us something from the kitchen?” Lancelot clearly didn’t want to leave, yet the mention of food made my stomach rumble. Lancelot helped me sit back against the wall before he left.

The potion Gaius retrieved for me was stronger than the one I took last night. “Thank you, Gaius.”

“How did it really go, Merlin?”

I sighed. “It hurt so bad that I kept forgetting to push. I’m surprised I don’t have a concussion. Kilgharrah kept knocking my head to get my attention. He didn’t speak a word during the whole experience. Must be a dragon thing.” I sniffled a little. “I’m still glad he didn’t use the spell. I need to get used to it in case I have to do it here underneath the castle without him.” I wiped my eyes. I was not going to start crying again. A thought crossed my mind. “Did Lancelot tell you how many?”

“He didn’t. You woke up before he could really explain.”

I started laughing. “Lancelot needs to learn to count. First he tells me it’s thirteen. I made him recount because I didn’t believe him. And then he comes back and says fourteen. Nope. It was fifteen! I didn’t know about the last one until I thought I was done.”

Gaius snickered a little. “With that many it was probably hidden. My boy, you must tell your magic to calm down. Do you really need this many baby dragons?”

Our laughter only got louder. It really was nuts. My ribs were aching by the time Lancelot was back with food. Unfortunately, he returned with Guinevere. There would be no more talk about what I went through.

Lancelot helped me get to the table. “I just let Guinevere pick the food. She said she knows your favorites.”

Guinevere wore a plain yellow dress that still managed to complement her light brown skin. And though her long curly brown hair was done up simply, she looked more beautiful than many nobles in the castle.

“Thank you, Gwen.” Looking at the food I was quite happy with her visit after all. There was a slice of sticky glazed bread on the plate that I hadn’t had in months.

“Oh Merlin, this isn’t fair,” she said. “Gaius, how is it he got this illness? No one else has it. I know you’ve been helping in the lower town, but it’s different, isn’t it?”

“Completely,” Gaius said with a straight face. “Merlin is just unlucky.” He had a twinkle in his eyes.

Lancelot had to hold in a laugh. Guinevere took in all our expressions. I could tell she was getting suspicious. “I’m fine, Gwen.” I intervened before the others gave it away. “It wasn’t as bad this time.” Which was true, the lead up wasn’t as bad. Oh, but last night was so much worse. That contradiction made my statement sound like a bald-faced lie and she wrinkled her nose at me.

“We’re going to keep him on bed rest for a few days anyways.” Gaius was eyeing me. 

“Good then. Merlin, you must take better care of yourself. You started working more hours right before it happened.” Guinevere shook her head at me. It was like she thought I caused this! I didn’t choose this.

Lancelot must have noticed me getting angry. “Let’s get you back into bed, Merlin. Guinevere.” He nodded at her before helping me stand up. He had to practically carry me up the stairs. “Sleep, Merlin.” He then kissed my forehead before helping me under the blanket. Yep, I was definitely getting ideas. I couldn’t help the smile on my lips.

Arthur wouldn’t let me work for four days, but he kept visiting. “Merlin,” he lectured when I asked to come back to work. “You’re still sick. I don’t want this happening again, and if you resting will prevent it, then that’s what you’ll do.”

“Come on, we don’t know if it’ll make a difference. Gaius thinks it just comes and go and there’s no way of really predicting.”

“Merlin,” he started.

“Arthur, please. I’m so bored. Give me something to do,” I begged.

“Fine already. You can sharpen swords while I train, but you will come straight to the training yards and sit down. I’ll have others bring the swords and whetstone. And you are to stay hydrated. George will see to it.” George was Arthur’s temporary manservant. A humorless man that annoyed me to no end. Arthur eyed me sternly. I decided to not object, but really now, he’s siccing George on me? I was really curious what nasty sounding name Gaius gave my supposed illness.

“Okay. Will you also tell me sometime what I’ve missed out on? You used to talk to me.”

Arthur laughed. “Nothing’s going on, Merlin. Besides that assassin of course. But since Gwaine killed him there wasn’t much more we could do about it. It’s been quiet. I’m sorry you’re missing the exciting life, but sometimes the day to day business of running a kingdom is boring. I can’t always entertain you.”

I grumbled a bit at that, but he paid me no mind.

The sun was exceedingly bright. It nicely matched the heat. When did it become summer? Servants were moving all around me as I eyed the wooden bench with my best glare. Since when was there a bench? Arthur must have added it. He added it for me, I realized. Great, a blush was helping cover up my paleness. Or maybe that was from the sun. I sat on the bench that turned out to be way more comfier than a stump. George was outside with us. I tried to ignore how he liked to dress like me. George kept fluttering around me making me drink water. Since I felt chronically overheated, I was grateful. It was still embarrassing though.

I’m not sure why I wanted to do this. It was awful. Nevertheless, I sharpened the swords. This time during a water break it was Gwaine who visited me. “Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes. I heard you caught some disease.”

Gwaine was one of the few who could make sweating in armor look good. Arthur thought he was in that group, but he was very wrong. Gwaine’s dark damp hair was sexy and he knew it. The impish grin helped a great deal.

“Hello, Gwaine.” I couldn’t help but grin back. It was nice to see him.

“Princess ordered some of us to keep a watch on you, make sure you take it easy.” I could only roll my eyes. “Though from what I hear, Lancelot has taken it upon himself to be your nursemaid.” Gwaine waggled both eyebrows.

“Who’s your source?”

“Ah, so you don’t deny it.” Gwaine patted me on the shoulder. “You know I don’t give up my sources.”

“You mean your drinking buddies. It was Percival, wasn’t it? I know he and Lancelot share a bunk.”

Gwaine just laughed. “I’m glad you’re looking better. I was already hearing how bad you’ve had it practically since I rode into the citadel. People worry over you. I worry.”

I frowned. “Gaius says it’ll happen again. Don’t worry so much. I’ll get through it. I appreciate the concern though.”

Gwaine smiled sadly. I wished I could tell him what was really going on. Though to be honest I didn’t want him there during the births. It was too intimate for our level of friendship. The fact that I didn’t think the same for having Lancelot there spoke for itself.

When Arthur declared training over, he immediately followed that up with ordering me back to bed. “Don’t fight me on this, Merlin. You already look like you’re going to faint.”

“Alright.” 

Arthur didn’t seem to believe me. He walked beside me all the way to the Physician’s Quarters. Gaius was actually in and seemed relieved I was back. 

“Get him to rest, Gaius,” Arthur said.

“Oh, I will,” Gaius agreed.

“Bye, Arthur,” I said sweetly. Arthur laughed and was gone.

“Here, let me see you,” Gaius said. He studied me as he got me to sit on the cot. I’m not sure what he was looking for. All the pain was on the inside and the only other indications were my paleness and how much more I was sweating. Speaking of, a bath would be nice. I wiped the sweat off the back of my neck. “Guinevere already brought water up for you, it’s ready in your room,” Gaius said. Okay, now I was really embarrassed. Everyone was taking care of me!

“Thanks, Gaius.” He handed me another potion. This one smelled different.

“It’s just to give you some more energy,” he said. “I know you hate sleeping so much. You can help me prepare my medicines after your bath.” He smiled when he said it, which made me smile back. 

My bath was nice. I warmed the water. Even if the tub was a lot smaller than what Arthur uses, I was still able to squeeze into it and enjoy the feeling of being half submerged. After I cleaned my body, I got out of the tub and leaned over to dip my head into the water before washing my hair. It was nice to be clean. I got dressed and put my boots back on. This was a safety precaution for working around the glass vials.

The rest of the afternoon was relaxing. I sorted herbs and ground some up as Gaius worked on making the actual medicine. I often would do that part too, but with how distracted I’ve been lately it’s probably best I only do the prep work.

A week and half passed in this routine. I’d do some simple chore for Arthur, usually outside as he was determined I get some sun on my face, and then I’d spend the rest of the time helping Gaius. In the evening I passed the time with some light reading. I mostly avoided my magic book because I was worried I’d be tempted to practice spells.

One evening, three peasants from a village arrived, one in critical condition. They mentioned a magical creature terrorizing the woods. They described it as a large bull with the tail of a serpent. Gaius did quick research. It was a Ophiotaurus. Thankfully, it didn’t need magic to be defeated. Gaius did advise that they bury the remains after they killed it. Burning its entrails would grant a dark power to those who slayed it. A power that could turn on its user.

I watched Arthur lead his knights out. It should take two days to get to the village. Lancelot went with him. Part of me was glad he’d be there to protect Arthur. The other part was anxious. My body had just started tingling that morning. I didn’t tell Lancelot. Better if he didn’t worry.

The next three days were frustrating. I didn’t tell Gaius. He was too busy with his patient. The man had a gut wound from the beast’s claws. It wasn’t deep, but he’d gotten an infection. 

I spent the day in bed trying to read while keeping any pained noises to a minimum. I was determined that Gaius not be distracted. At night, I wished Lancelot was here with me.


	7. Chapter 7

Today was May 15th. It was time. It was early in the evening that I could no longer hide the pain from Gaius. I was whimpering in my room. “Merlin, when did this start?”

I groaned. I spoke softly, “I have to get to the Birthing Chamber tonight.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he yelled. I winced. Gaius looked back into the room behind him. “He’s asleep with a sedative.” Good, I didn’t have to whisper.

“You’ve been busy.” I whined. “And you’re still busy. Lancelot is with Arthur, who knows when they’ll get back. You’ve got to watch your patient.”

“Merlin!”

“He could still die! This isn’t going to kill me.” I gritted my teeth, “I just have to get into a different position to protect the eggs. I’ve got this.”

“How are you going to get down there?” I could see how worried he was from the way his forehead scrunched up.

“I’ll go in a couple minutes. Give myself plenty of time.” I was a mess, but this was how it had to be.

“Your magic isn’t even showing.” Gaius came and checked my forehead for fever.

“I know. I’m suppressing it. Makes it easier to get past the guards without suspicion.”

Gaius then busied himself making sure I drank enough water. He also filled up a waterskin I could take with me. He then got some bread and cheese that he put in a bag for me. “I know you’ll stay down there for hours afterwards. This is so you don’t get hungry.” He sighed. “I really don’t like sending you down there alone. You take care. If they get back tonight, I’ll send Lancelot down to you.”

“Okay.”

Gaius hugged me. I hugged him back with all the strength I had before heading down beneath the castle. It took forever to get there. I had to take too many breaks. When I finally entered the cavern I released my magic. It gave me enough strength to get to the Birthing Chamber. I was early. I sat against the wall and just tried to calm my breathing.

I think I fell asleep because I woke up knowing I only had minutes to get undressed. I shakily took off my clothes before getting in position in the middle of the room. The jarring suddenness of the change still made me scream. I didn’t have anyone with me to tell me the number of eggs. I decided to try and use my magic. It felt different in this form, yet I could use it to sense the other life within me. I felt ten healthy signatures. Ten, I could do ten.

I had to stand up this time. The first egg movement felt different in this position. It still went through the same process, but the strain on my legs was worse. I felt a bit faint. When it finally came to pushing, I was determined. The drop of the egg made no sound so I had to trust that it was safe. I did a shuffle to make sure they didn’t pile up. After the fifth egg left me, I passed out. 

“Son, you need to push.” Balinor’s voice rang in my head. It woke me up. I got back into position. I stayed focused.

By the time I had birthed the ninth one, I was barely hanging onto consciousness. I heard my name being shouted. Lancelot. I told my magic to let him see the room. I didn’t know if it worked, but I was already busy with the pain of the last egg. Finally, I got the last egg safely out. I moved as far away from them as I could before I collapsed. I didn’t want to transform so soon. Still, my magic did what it wanted. I blacked out as my body erupted.

Loud sobbing woke me up. It took me a while to realize I was the one crying, as my entire focus was the pain. “I’m here, Merlin. You’re okay.” Lancelot was rocking me. He must have dressed me. I took comfort from that. It made me almost feel normal having clothes on again.

“My father was here with me,” I said when I finally calmed. “He spoke to me.” I tried to explain. “I heard him the first time I used my Dragonlord powers too.”

Lancelot’s brown eyes were glistening. “I’m glad he was with you when I couldn’t be.”

“Are they okay?” I looked back at the eggs. None of them looked broken. 

“I checked,” Lancelot reassured. “You are amazing, Merlin. They’re all safe.”

I started crying again and he tightened his hold on me. “I hate that Arthur’s right. I am acting like a girl.” I started hiccuping. “Not the giving birth part. It’s just, I’m always crying now.”

Lancelot chuckled. “You’re very manly, Merlin. And Arthur in your situation would be just as bad. Practically in hysterics, I’d imagine.”

I laughed. “I don’t know about that. But he would be whining more than I do.”

“You’ve not been whining.” Lancelot sighed. “You’re going through a lot. Neither Gaius nor I think less of you for being emotional through this. You have been very brave.” 

Once I stopped crying, Lancelot left to bring the cart into the room. I let him put the eggs into the cart. That was always his part. Tomorrow, I would need to change out some of the straw. It probably went without saying, but birth was messy.

Together we moved into the Incubation Room. It was my turn to place the eggs beside their siblings. 

Two were a pale blue though one was lighter. The strangest one was red with yellow speckles. “This dragon should be interesting.” I grinned at Lancelot. One egg was gold, another silver. Three were black, though each one had a different colored shimmer to them. The last two were brown, each a different shade of tree bark.

Lancelot shook his head. “Who knew dragon eggs could look so different?” Lancelot smiled. “Do you think the eggshell tells us anything about what they’ll look like?”

“I haven’t asked Kilgharrah. I mean it must, right? What else could it mean?”

The blankets were already spread out. “You should sleep. You must be exhausted,” Lancelot said. He stretched out behind me. “Only a couple hours. I know Gaius is anxious to make sure you’re okay.” I barely heard his words as I was already falling asleep.

When Lancelot woke me up, he made sure I ate the food I’d brought. Then he delivered me back to a distraught Gaius. I let Gaius hug me and give me medicine before I was back in bed. Lancelot was whispering in Gaius’ ear, probably because of the patient still in the main room. I was asleep again before they’d finished talking.

I woke up to Arthur shouting. “He’s sick, again? Gaius, there must be something you can do.”

“I did warn you, Sire. It’ll be many months yet before he’s fully recovered.”

“That’s it. He’s officially on leave. I still want him outside at least once a week. He needs some sun, I’m sure.” Arthur didn’t seem to realize he was giving unsolicited medical advice to a physician, but he wasn’t done. “Lancelot has a new assignment. I know how upset he was when he heard Merlin was ill again. I want Lancelot to help you. Make sure Merlin is resting. I don’t need one of my Knights distracted.” Arthur groaned. “Gah, why is nothing ever easy with Merlin?”

My door was cracked open. “Love you too, Sire!” I shouted.

“Merlin!” Arthur thundered up the stairs. “How are you doing?” He sat down heavily on the stool. It wobbled. “You need to stay in bed. That’s an order.”

I didn’t feel like I could move anyways, so I just hummed in agreement. “Did you slay the Ophiotaurus?”

“We did. Leon and Lancelot got the killing blow together. None of us were injured.” Arthur gripped his knees as if he was trying to keep from reaching out. “It wasn’t the same without you. I’m so used to worrying that you’d get injured. That part was nice, the not worrying. Still, it was too quiet the whole trip.”

“You did bury the remains, didn’t you?”

Arthur groaned. “I do know how to follow instructions, Merlin.”

Another thought was more pressing. “Arthur, are you really sacking me?” I gave him my best puppy dog eyes.

“Temporarily. Just until you get over whatever the hell this is.” Arthur waved his hand in a strange way as if to encompass my illness.

“Argh. I hate not having work to do.” I ached all over, but still there was the boredom to look forward to.

“I’ll ask Leon to find you something to read. We do have literature books in the library that are just for fun.” Arthur gave into his urges and mussed up my hair.

I batted his hand away. “That would be nice. I only have Gaius’ books to study.”

“I’ll also make sure Guinevere takes more breaks so she can keep you company.” Arthur sighed. “I’m sorry I can’t stay longer.”

I grinned. “You have Regenty things to do.”

“That’s not a word.” He mussed up my hair again and laughed as he left the room.

“Gaius!” I shouted. Gaius came into the room with a vial. I was glad I didn’t have to explain. Being fussed over had its benefits.

The rest of the day I slept. Which was fine as the few times I woke up, it was heavily raining. The patient was moved into a spare room because the infection was gone. In the morning of the next day, Lancelot was sitting at the table when I left my room. 

“I overheard Arthur saying you have Merlin duty.” I quirked a smile at him.

Lancelot laughed. “I do. This is better anyways. Leon wants to have training despite the rain.”

“Ah, so I’m just an excuse to you,” I said. 

Lancelot smiled as he pushed the fruit bowl towards me. “Eat up. I know you’re hungry.”

“I am. It’s not fair.” I munched on two apples.

“Guinevere is bringing you a proper breakfast as Gaius is busy in the lower town. It’s not another illness. Just some kids were playing around and got injured. He’s treating them in their homes.”

“I’d complain about being considered an invalid, but... “

“But you can’t dispute it.” Lancelot frowned. “Merlin, this is a tough time for you.” He checked the door. “You can allow yourself to appreciate that they care, even if they don’t know what’s really going on.”

“I know. I do. I’m just struggling with how much longer this will take. I’m annoyed Arthur won’t let me work anymore.” I sighed. “A bit relieved though. It’s like all the pain is stacking on top of each other. Gaius’ medicine is the only thing keeping me going.”

Lancelot got a weird look of concentration on his face. “After breakfast I’m going to give you a real massage.”

“You’re going to what?” I didn’t get an answer as Guinevere knocked on the door. Lancelot jumped up to help her bring in the tray.

She first brought out sausage patties covered in a rich gravy. I knew from conversations with the kitchen staff that they used expensive spices in this dish. I had only ever seen nobles eat it. I might have been drooling. “Good, you’re hungry,” Guinevere said.

“How did you get this? I’m not allowed to eat this.” I barely kept from licking my lips.

“Arthur’s orders of course. Said you needed something filling to help you recover.” Guinevere split the food onto three plates. She grinned. “But he never said Lancelot and I couldn’t eat it too.”

I laughed. I gave her a smile before turning to Lancelot. “I’m sure you’re eating fancy food all the time now as a Knight.”

“No, only at feasts.” Lancelot took a bite and moaned. My ears got red at the sound. A part of me liked the sound he made a little too much.

I focused on the food. There were also fried eggs. I avoided that. I knew there wasn’t life in the eggs they used, but it still turned my stomach. I guzzled the goat milk after I finished the patties and steamed potatoes.

Guinevere sighed heavily. “I’ll try and come back later. I need to stay with the King for a bit.”

“I understand, Gwen.” I felt a bit anxious as I watched her leave.

“Come on, Merlin.” I walked back to my room. Lancelot brought a small towel. “Get undressed, you can cover yourself with this.”

“This isn’t necessary,” I tried.

“Are you in pain?” he asked.

“Yes.” Ugh. “Fine.” I took my clothes off self-consciously. I knew rationally that he’d helped dress me before and that I’d been naked in front of him plenty of times since this craziness started. It was still awkward. I wrapped the towel around my lower half and lay down on my stomach. Lancelot, surprisingly, had a jar of oil with him. How long had he been planning this? I watched him drizzle it onto his hands. “Have you done this before?” I asked.

“Not exactly. I watched once and then had it done for me. I paid attention.” Lancelot started at my shoulders. 

That felt good. Really good. It was more of an exquisite pain compared to the throbbing I’d been starting to get used to. He moved down my back slowly. It seemed to go on forever. I was also not sure what the towel was for as he just moved that out of his way to massage my butt-cheeks. He then moved to the backs of my legs. He put a long time into my feet. I was a dreamy mess, and couldn’t help all the moans I made. He took care of my arms before getting me to flop on my back. My chest was sensitive, though nothing compared to my stomach. That just hurt, but I was already so relaxed. There was only one place he ignored in my entire body, but he didn’t seem put out that it was showing interest.

He left to clean his hands before returning to massage my temples, run his hands through my hair and knead my scalp. This man was sent by the gods. He helped me get dressed in my night clothes before covering me in a blanket. “Sleep, Merlin.”

“Nnnngh,” was about all I could say. I was asleep in seconds. My dreams of that massage were a bit more raunchy than reality.

It was dark by the time my stomach’s rumblings woke me up. I stayed in one spot for a bit realizing how much better I felt. There were still some aches in my middle. The rest of me was so relaxed I could melt into a puddle. I walked out of my room. Gaius was just getting ready for bed. “How are you feeling?” he asked.

“Anything for dinner?”

Gaius laughed. “Hungry then. I roasted a chicken. I’m surprised the smell didn’t wake you.”

“I was in a deep sleep.” I thought about my dream. Luckily, my back was to Gaius so he didn’t see my blush. The food was on the table. I was too tired to warm it with magic. It was still delicious at a cool temperature. I went back to my room after I ate. I was too wired to sleep. I couldn’t stop thinking about Lancelot. He was going above and beyond to help me through all of this. It was impossible to deny I was developing feelings for him. Considering all his actions, he cared too. But in what way?

I used to think Lancelot was still in love with Guinevere. Though lately he definitely had appeared to have moved on. I knew Guinevere had chosen Arthur even if Arthur couldn’t ultimately choose her. For them it was a waiting game until Arthur became king.

Was there a chance for something between Lancelot and me? I really hoped the answer was yes. If nothing else so I could feel those hands on me again. I doubted I would ever find another person willing to take care of me whether I was human or dragon. I suddenly realized how much I wanted Lancelot to be present when the eggs hatched. 

I finally got some sleep. I woke up with a burst of energy entirely due to Lancelot’s massage yesterday. Unfortunately, he was busy with the Knights when I wanted to thank him. Gaius was off working his morning rounds. I’m not sure how that man was able to complete his tasks now that I was out of the picture. I’d taken on a lot of his daily work so he could spend more time researching any new medical books he would get in trade from other kingdoms. Maybe he needed a temporary assistant.

Once I’d finished eating some fruit, I got dressed so I could wander the castle. I walked slowly, both because I had nowhere to be and because my body still felt worn out. I ended up in the stables. No one noticed me as I brushed the horse I usually rode, a beautiful mare, as well as Arthur’s own stallion. I gave them both carrots as treats.

Next, I visited the library. I didn’t want to wait to see what Leon would pick out for me. It was a bit dark among the books. Geoffrey was quite shocked that I asked for literature. Usually my reading choices pertained to my job in some form or another. Mostly history books. Sometimes I’d read up on a topic just so I could understand what Arthur was ranting about after council meetings. Even as a Prince he’d gone to many of the meetings. Now as Regent he was there nearly every day. Arthur actually encouraged my reading habits. Something about him being annoyed with the confused look on my face. Wasn’t my fault I didn’t have a nobleman’s education.

The only reason I had any education at all was because of Liam, Will’s father. Liam had been a nobleman’s bastard. He’d grown up studying to be a royal tutor before eventually running away to be a farmer. It hadn’t been until I was much older that I learned why he left Essetir’s citadel. It’d been because of his twin sister, Lilly. Without the protection of being a full noble she had been taken and raped. Liam had tried to get justice with no success. The nobleman who’d harmed her, had left her pregnant. Both Lilly and the babe had then died during birth. Liam couldn’t stay among the elite any longer and had left for Ealdor. It’s where he’d then met Will’s mother, Anna. 

Before Liam had died in one of Cenred’s many wars, he’d taken great pride in tutoring Will and me. Though my Mother could both read and write she had decided to let Liam teach me. Besides English, Liam would teach us to read Latin and Greek. He also would teach history as well as basic math. My studies had almost ended when Liam died. Will had been grief stricken and wanted to get rid of his father’s books. I had needed to rescue the books from a fire so I could continue learning on my own.

I left Geoffrey confused when I exited the library carrying the book ‘Ovid’s Metamorphoses’ in the original Latin. Though Camelot was lucky to have a translation, I knew it wouldn’t be the same. 

Back in my room I read several poems before falling asleep. I woke up from my nap feeling disoriented. I heard a knock on my door. Lancelot. He looked like he’d just taken a bath. His hair was still wet. “Let me see what you’re reading.” Lancelot plopped onto the edge of my bed. His eyes widened. “You read Latin?”

“That so surprising?” I couldn’t help teasing.

“I’ve never learned.” Lancelot barked out a laugh. “That explains how easily you learned those spells of the old religion. Already used to learning new languages, aren’t you?”

I shrugged. “Gaius helped me.”

“You’re fluent now though, right?” He looked at me earnestly.

“Maybe.” I suddenly felt a bit bashful.

Lancelot nodded. “You’re smarter than Arthur gives you credit for. I just didn’t realize quite how learned you were.” He stood up. “Come on, I’m supposed to make sure you eat lunch.”

“Where are we going?”

“Arthur is always thinking you’re going to the tavern. Might as well be true once in a while. They serve good food.” He pointed a finger at me. “No mead for you. Gwaine and Percival will be there.” Off we went.


	8. Chapter 8

Lancelot set a slow pace so I could walk comfortably beside him. I tried to ignore how weak I was feeling and just enjoy the sun. The ground was still a bit damp from yesterday’s rain and the air was heavy with humidity. The tavern hovered near the market as it awaited the lunch crowd. The noise level outside was overwhelming as everyone did their haggling. Inside the tavern, it wasn’t much better.

Gwaine and Percival held a mug each as they sat at the bar. Percival made Gwaine seem tiny. I never wanted to get on Percival’s bad side. Though he generally was very sweet. Gwaine was the first to see us. “Merlin, you made it! Good job, Lancelot.” Percival waved a hand. “We’ve got a table,” Gwaine added. 

Lancelot pulled a chair out for me at the table Gwaine had indicated. Percival gave Lancelot a confused look at this extra bit of chivalry. I tried to ignore it and sat down. The four of us ordered some simple stew and drinks though just a water for me. 

“So, Merlin. I’ve barely seen you for days.” Percival sipped his mug between every few words. “How come Gaius hasn’t been able to fix you up? Sometimes I think that man can cure anything.”

“Just a special case, I guess.” I dipped my head self-consciously.

Lancelot spoke up to clarify. “Gaius is helping Merlin a great deal. It could be worse. But he’s getting the necessary treatment. Give it a few more months and he’ll be back to normal.”

Percival winced. “Months, eh? You definitely got the short end of the stick.”

The food came and we spent several minutes just eating. Then Gwaine leaned in towards me. “How are you keeping yourself occupied, Merlin?”

“He’s reading,” Lancelot said before I could swallow my food.

“Oh yeah? What are you reading, Merlin?”

“Latin poetry,” Lancelot said. I was a little annoyed he told them that, but couldn’t help the warm feeling in my chest when I heard how proud Lancelot sounded.

Percival and Gwaine both look intrigued so I told them Ovid’s story of Phaethon. Phaethon went to his father the Sun God, Phoebus, for proof of his heritage. Phaethon wanted to be allowed to drive the chariot of the sun across the sky. I described how his father begged Phaethon to choose some other proof. In the end Phaethon was permitted to drive the chariot, but his lack of skill was disastrous. He even dropped the reins. This led to the Earth being set on fire. Even worse, Jove had to kill Phaethon with lightning to save Mother Earth and the Oceans. It was hubris that harmed so many. * 

I had a captive audience. I told them a few other stories from Ovid’s Metamorphoses. Gwaine interrupted me at the end of one tale. “I wish I could read Latin, Merlin. They sound amazing.”

“Never took you for a reader,” I admitted.

“You’d be surprised.” He sounded wistful.

I paused in thought. “Camelot’s library has a translation and no one is currently using it. You should pick it up if you’re interested.”

I’d never seen Gwaine smile so brightly. I went back with Lancelot to the Physician’s Quarters with a happy heart. It was nice to simply socialize again. “Thank you, Lance.”

He smiled at me before sitting at the table. It took me several heartbeats to realize I’d given him a nickname. It just came out so easily. “What do you want to do tomorrow?” he asked.

“I’d like to spend a few hours with my dragons. Would you like to come with me?” It was hard to not just go see them tonight, but I didn’t want to risk being followed. The more I went, the harder it would be to keep it a secret.

Lancelot took my hand in his, interlocking our fingers. “Yes. I’ll come.” We just sat in silence for an hour, hand in hand, before Gaius was back, and Lancelot hesitantly let go. 

“Do you need another potion, Merlin?” Gaius asked. 

“Yes, please.” I drank the vial. I don’t know how Gaius knew exactly what I needed, but it was weaker than yesterday’s batch. When it was strong, it left me groggy. I wasn’t as bad off today.

Gaius plopped a bag of herbs in front of me. “Get to work. Arthur might have retired you, but I still need your skills.” 

I grinned at Lancelot and got to work chopping. After a few minutes I had to ask. “Gaius, do you think you should get a new assistant?” My concern crept into my voice.

Gaius stood quite still. “I don’t think that would be wise. We’d need to trust them fully.”

Lancelot seemed thoughtful. “If you need me to deliver medicine, then I can help.”

“That would be lovely, thank you.” Gaius patted his arm and got back to work.

By evening, Guinevere came with dinner for the four of us. She seemed harried. “How are you doing, Gwen?” I asked.

Guinevere glanced up. “Hmm? Oh, I’m fine, Merlin. You don’t have to worry about me.”

“I know I don’t have to, but you’re my friend.” I rubbed my temples.

She smiled softly, but didn’t speak.

A wave of frustration overtook me. “I know I’m not in the best shape right now. I can’t help anyone with their problems. I’m trying to not let my helplessness make me bitter.” I grimaced. “Gwen, I still want to know what’s going on with you. I can at least listen. My ears still work.” I turned to stare at Lancelot. “This goes for you too, Lancelot. Don’t block me out.” I was breathing pretty heavily.

“Oh, Merlin,” Guinevere gasped. “I’m so sorry. You mean the world to me, my friend.” Guinevere changed seats so she was closer to me and could pull me into a hug. “I didn’t want you to worry about me because I’m doing enough worrying about you. Everything with the King is just hard for me. Worse for Arthur, obviously. Also every time I see Arthur, it’s clear how much he’s missing you.”

I sighed. “Yet he sacked me.”

Lancelot shook his head. “Merlin, he did that because he wants you to get better.”

“I know. Today was a good day. It was. I just don’t know how I’m going to get through the next several weeks like this.” I leaned my head on Guinevere’s shoulder as she held me. I must have looked so pathetic.

Gaius finished his food before giving me his best raised eyebrow. Still no idea how he did that. “My boy, you take it one day at a time. We are all here for you.” Then he gave a meaningful look at Lancelot before turning back to say, “I’m sure you’ll find some way to occupy your time.”

My ears started feeling hot. Damn the man for making me blush in front of Gwen.

Despite Gaius’ insinuation, that’s not how I spent the next two weeks. Every two days or so would find Lancelot sitting watching my dragon eggs while I napped in his arms. 

Leon visited three times with a delivery. Apparently word had spread as he found every book in the library that was written in Latin, whether literature or not. The floor of my room was covered with books I barely glanced at.

When it was time for the next birth there was a nasty thunderstorm happening. Gaius wanted to see this Birthing Chamber I’d created, but Uther had caught some cold. It would have been suspicious for Gaius to leave the King’s side.

At least I had Lancelot with me. The date was the first of June. Even though I was in the same pain as every past experience, I felt lighter in spirit with him there. I could hear his encouraging words this time due to the way sound echoed against the cavern walls. He would remind me to push and tell me how brilliant I was after each egg was delivered. I birthed seven eggs. 

As I put the eggs on the shelves in the Incubation Room, I realized how unbelievably happy I was. One egg was black with white polka dots. One shined blue like a sapphire. Two had a wavy pattern of green and blue. The last three were all the same yellow as a noonday sun. Yet holding them I knew there would be some differences in their looks and definitely in their personalities. 

I had yet to figure out how to make that fire grate I wanted. Thankfully, my spell to keep the room warm was still holding. Lancelot had sneaked down a bedroll and pillow for us last week so we got more comfortable tonight. I laid my head on his chest as I let the night’s pain fade to the background.

Lancelot must have fallen asleep too because it was late in the afternoon when we finally got back to the Physician's Quarters. “Oh, Merlin. How’d it go?”

“Seven.” It was all I really felt able to say.

Lancelot squeezed the back of my neck in comfort. “He did great. How’d everything go with the King?”

Gaius sighed. “He’s gotten past the worst of it. He’ll recover. It didn’t seem that Uther cared whether he was sick or not. It was as if he barely noticed. He didn’t engage at all. I think he’s giving up.”

“And Arthur?” I asked anxiously. I couldn’t be there for Arthur and it was driving me nuts.

Gaius rubbed a hand down his face as if he was trying to wake himself up. “He’s coping. The pressure he’s under is great.”

“Can I go see him?” I wanted to sprint out the door. 

Gaius huffed. “Tomorrow then. You need to sleep. I’ve got the usual draft for you. If you go hunting him down now, you’ll only anger him. You don’t honestly think he missed that you were feeling off again?”

“Argh. Fine.” I swallowed the disgusting thing. “I’ll go sleep then.” Grumpy was the best way to describe how I was acting. 

“You’re not hungry?” Lancelot asked. My stomach answered me. The first month of being pampered was nice. Now it was just getting on my nerves. I dutifully ate the food Guinevere had brought up earlier before sitting unhappily on my bed. I didn’t want to sleep even if I was hurting all over. I also hated being away from my dragons. If I could, I’d spend every moment with them.

Lancelot just watched my attitude with a single raised eyebrow. Was he trying to imitate Gaius? “Here, move over,” he said. My mouth dropped open. It was still daylight. What if Arthur decided to visit? Still, the thought of falling asleep in Lancelot’s arms again was the only thing that made sleep look appealing. 

We spooned a bit on my narrow bed. Lancelot went to kiss my forehead, but I wasn’t having it. I scooted up so my lips could meet his. I worried he’d pull away, yet he didn’t even hesitate. I drowned in his kisses until my exhaustion caught up with me. This time I let him kiss my forehead as I drifted off.

The next morning, Lancelot and I visited Arthur. Arthur didn’t have much to say. I left feeling a bit disheartened. That afternoon, Lancelot was determined to distract me with another massage.

He had me use a small spell to keep my door locked. It was just as wonderful to have his hands on me as I remembered, but I wasn’t into it. “Your hands are a treasure,” I mumbled anyways as he kneaded a knot in my lower back.

Lancelot laughed and then leaned into whisper in my ear. “You’re the one that’s magic.” He then nipped my ear. I couldn’t hold back a groan. At least I enjoyed that.

If my body didn’t hurt so much, then I’d think I was dreaming. Sadly, the massage was barely helping the pain. Gaius thought my tolerance to the medicine was making me need more, but it would be too dangerous to up the dose. 

It was a challenge to focus on Lancelot’s hands, to try and relax. He paused his movements. “You’re worse off today, aren’t you?”

“I’m sorry,” I sighed.

Lancelot rubbed his hands down my sides until the tickling made me giggle. “Why are you apologizing, Merlin?”

I smacked his hands away so I could catch my breath. “Here you are giving me a nice massage and I’m barely paying attention.”

“Hmm. I might be able to change that.” Lancelot had that look again. “Flip over.”

I gave him my best suspicious eyes before lying on my back. Lancelot leaned over and kissed me. I groaned when he slipped his tongue into my mouth. When he pulled away, I asked, “What are you planning?”

He poured more oil onto one of his hands before kneeling by my bed. He moved the towel off of me and waited to see if I’d accept. I pulled his head down to me and kissed him passionately. His slicked hand worked my cock and finally the pain in my body began to dissipate as I had a new focus.

He ate all my moans. I could tell he was palming himself with every hitch in his breathing. Considering everything, as a first time between us, it couldn’t have been more lovely. I was whining in the back of my throat as he sped up. 

When the rush of my orgasm hit, I couldn’t help pulling my head back and screeching his name. As I came down from the high, Lancelot was laughing hysterically. “Could you be any louder?”

“You try to keep your magic from blowing up the room at the same time,” I hissed.

He quirked his lips. “Not the first time you’ve come, is it?”

I laughed. “No. But I already told you how amazing your hands are.” I pulled him into another kiss.

He cleaned us both before helping me dress. We snuggled in the bed. The last thought before I fell asleep was a fervent wish that no one had been in the main room.

I was very unlucky.

When we came out of my room many hours later for dinner, Gaius looked me dead in the eyes. “Guinevere visited earlier.” He didn’t need to say more for total mortification to hit me. Lancelot paled quite a bit as well. Minutes passed as we stood in shock. Gaius then rolled his eyes. “You’re lucky, Merlin. She dropped off food only just an hour ago. Still didn’t protect my own innocent ears. Try a gag next time, perhaps.”

“Bastard. Nearly gave me a heart attack,” I said.

Gaius could only laugh. He then sobered. “I’m truly happy for you both.” He then handed me a small book with a page marked. “A silencing spell for the room.”

“Thank you.” My entire face was red and I could feel Lancelot behind me being smug. I turned around and gave him my most mischievous smile. “I’ll get you to scream my name next time.”

Lancelot’s cheeks darkened and his pupils grew bigger. He leaned forward. “You better keep your promises.”

Gaius groaned and made to cover his ears. “Enough you two.”

The three of us ate comfortably after that. It’d be a lie if I said I wasn’t still hurting, but I felt so content that it truly didn’t bother me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summarized The Story of Phaethon -
> 
> Ovid. Metamorphoses, trans. Rolfe Humphries. (Indiana: Indiana University Press, 1955), 28-40.


	9. Chapter 9

It was with frustration that I learned that Lancelot wouldn’t let me keep my promise. Apparently, I wasn’t allowed to do any type of work in my condition. Still, I got to enjoy his hands and his mouth. Since we weren’t going any further, I made sure to tease him by whispering all the filthy things I planned to do to him in the future. He did sort of beg using my name. Not quite a scream. But it was a start.

The next week and a half blurred by in a pleasant haze. Even the days pre-birth were peaceful.

Fourteenth of June. We were lucky it was a nice clear evening and all three of us were able to make it to the clearing so I could summon Kilgharrah. I may have pleaded for the spell he gave me the first time. Stupid lizard said it only worked once so it would be pointless for him to even try. I wasn’t sure I believed him. I definitely made sure he knew that as I roared through the pain.

It was nice having Gaius deliver the eggs. It meant Lancelot could shout sweet-nothings in his attempt to overpower my screams. I struggled to keep my head in one place as my children’s needs took over my body. I persevered because I wanted Lancelot’s comfort. He may have been giving tiny kisses to the scales on my face. I had little energy to be certain of the details.

Nine eggs. Nine. I really thought the number was going down. Why is the number always so high? Why does my magic hate me this much? One would be enough. 

After the third egg I was just angry. Balinor! Why the gods did you have to fuck my mother so I could be born and have to deal with this insanity? I might have said that out loud because Lancelot was in stitches. My nostrils started blowing smoke and he stopped laughing.

It was during the seventh egg that everything went wrong. I was howling. “Gaius, what’s happening?” Lancelot yelled. I was shuddering and tears were falling. “I’ll be right back, I promise.” 

Lancelot ran back quickly. I barely noticed he’d been gone in my pain. “Merlin, you can’t push. The egg is sideways. Apparently, the one behind it tried to follow and they’re both stuck.”

I whimpered. The pressure was the worst I’d ever felt and I struggled against my now instinctual need to push through it. “What’s he going to do?” I gasped.

“He has to move them both back so he has room to turn the one in the front.” Lancelot caressed my face. 

It wasn’t enough of a warning. The pain intensified and I blacked out. I came to coughing out the water that Kilgharrah spelled to drench my face. Lancelot was shouting my name. “Merlin! Gaius got them repositioned. Push!”

Lancelot then ran to help Gaius as the egg came out. The next egg came out immediately after, but Lancelot wasn’t coming back to tell me what they looked like. “What’s going on?” I shouted.

Lancelot’s face was pale when he came back to me. “One more, Merlin.” 

“TELL ME!”

“They both have some cracks. Kilgharrah is examining them. This is the last one, concentrate.”

“No!” I roared. “No,” I sobbed.

Lancelot smacked my face. It didn’t feel like much in my dragon form, but it got my attention. “Focus. Only one left. You can do this.”

The grief was overwhelming me. I begged silently for this egg to come out successfully.

As soon as it left me and my body was human again, I struggled to my feet. I ran to where Kilgharrah leaned over two red eggs on a blanket spread out on the grass. I didn’t consider my nakedness, I just dropped to the ground beside them. There were so many cracks in the shells. I let my magic study them. I could feel the weak life force of both dragons. The egg shells were hopeless. Part of the amniotic fluid was seeping out. There was no way to fix any of the cracks. Kilgharrah had clearly already tried. The dragons didn’t have much time.

“I’m sorry,” Kilgharrah spoke.

I didn’t respond. This was unacceptable. I gathered up my magic, split it into two different streams and shoved it through the cracks in the eggs. I might not be able to heal the cracks in their shells, but I’ll make these dragons grow. My magic used the nutrients in the yolk sac to help the dragons develop.

My eyes were getting white spots and Kilgharrah was yelling at me to stop, but I wouldn’t. I whispered their names, Litushna and Ravick. I passed out before they could hatch.

Lancelot was rocking me when I woke up. I was covered in a blanket. We were still outside though it seemed hours had passed. My first words were little more than a croak. “Did they make it?” I asked on my second try.

He looked down at me with tears streaming down his face. He shakily smiled. “You could have killed yourself. Kilgharrah said you used your life force to make them age. It worked though. Look.” He turned my head towards the most enchanting sight I’d ever seen. 

My baby dragons were orange. I knew immediately the names for each. Ravick had red tips on his wings whereas Litushna had yellow scales on her head. That was the truly marvelous thing. Ravick was clearly male and Litushna female. I wondered what that would mean for the future.

They seemed to notice I was awake at the same time as they started hopping towards me while sporadically trying to fly. They sniffed my hand as I reached out to them. Then they both made a small bite on different fingers. I barely flinched. They lapped up a drop of my blood each before jumping onto my chest and curling up together like they were going to sleep. 

Tears fell down my cheeks as I gazed at them. Lancelot smoothed the hair out of my eyes. “They’re beautiful,” he whispered. Gaius was consulting with Kilgharrah. I tuned them out and focused on my babies. I almost lost them. I stroked the tips of my fingers against their wings. They just nuzzled further into my chest. I didn’t know what we were going to do with them. I wasn’t prepared yet for the dragons to be hatched. A problem to solve in an hour. Right now I just let my love for them consume me entirely.


	10. Chapter 10

“I don’t want them to leave!” I cried quietly. The baby dragons had woken up and were jumping around. They were also clearly hungry. Kilgharrah had just offered to take Litushna and Ravick with him. He had been searching for caves for the little ones for the last couple weeks and had found one he thought might work. 

I knew it was always going to come to this. I just wasn’t expecting the pain that would come in parting from my dragons. I had thought I’d be able to visit with them often. My expectation was that Kilgharrah would already have taught me how to change form at will and how to fly. I’d hoped that I’d be the one to show them how to fly. Now it would be at least four months before I could see them again.

Gaius gripped my shoulders sternly. “Merlin. You’ll see them again. Camelot is not safe. And dragons need to be outside amongst nature. You know this.”

I nodded shakily. I glared up at Kilgharrah. “You will not let them out of your sight.”

Kilgharrah bowed his head. “Young Warlock, I will make sure nothing befalls the little ones. You have my word.”

“Come here,” I entreated the baby dragons. They jumped into my arms. I carefully held their tiny bodies. I kissed their heads. “You both be good. I’ll see you soon.” 

I let Lancelot pick them up and bring them to Kilgharrah to place them atop his head. I watched as they both hopped around until they curled up on Kilgharrah’s back. Tears fell down my cheeks as Kilgharrah lifted off and flew away with my heart. 

It was getting late. We had to get the other seven eggs to the Incubation Room. “Keep the shells,” I said to Lancelot. He agreed and made sure to put every piece into the cart. Lancelot pushed the cart through the forest towards the cave. I leaned on Gaius most of the way. It wasn’t just the pain I was dealing with this time. I was completely drained and felt almost like I wasn’t even present. I couldn’t say whether it was due to all the magic I used to save their lives or the beginning of a depression from watching them leave. 

When we finally got underneath the castle, I had to just sit for a half hour against the far wall with the cart still full beside me. Gaius left. He wanted to prepare some food for us. It was an age before I could bring myself to place the eggs. I moved them carefully as I was deeply afraid I might drop them. Two were golden. One was violet. Another one was a mossy green. Two were a faded yellow. The last one was silver. With tears in my eyes I then placed the red shell pieces of both Litushna and Ravick. Lancelot tried to keep them separate, but I’ll never know for sure that the pieces didn’t get mixed up as they’d had the same shade of red.

Lancelot held me as I cried. I let him take me up through the castle instead of sleeping down there. Gaius had food out when we arrived. I barely touched it. Gaius eventually gave me some medicine. Before going to bed, I asked Lancelot to leave. I wanted to be alone. I curled up in my bed and cried some more until I finally fell asleep to the birds signally the dawn.

Gaius and Lancelot both took turns the next few days trying to get me to eat. At night I wouldn’t let Lancelot hold me. I knew I was hurting him by being so distant. I couldn’t help it. I didn’t want his comfort. There was nothing that could cheer me up. 

In the end it was Arthur that yanked me out of my downward spiral. He visited in the late morning. “Merlin, you’re not dressed!” Arthur marched me back to my room. “This will not do. I need you for a very important mission.”

I reluctantly got dressed. I kept asking him to explain what was going on. All I got was variations of “I’ll tell you when we get there.” The town market was completely cleared. Someone had blocked off a section with barrels in the large square. There were two chairs in front. Arthur had me sit to his right. 

“What is this?” I saw there was a large group of people loitering on the edge.

Arthur grinned. “I sent out a notice to the villages that I was looking for some talent to audition for an event next month. As you must remember, my father’s birthday is next week. Although he doesn’t usually celebrate it, I wanted to do something special.” Arthur turned to me. “You, Merlin, are going to help me choose the acts.”

“Me?” I couldn’t help but smile. “You’re finally recognizing my wisdom?”

“In all things ridiculous? Yes, yes I am.” Arthur patted my back. “Oi! Who’s first?” Arthur shouted. 

The first act were two young lads. They tried to read us some awful poetry they’d written. Arthur grimaced. I shook my head violently before they could waste any more of our time. “Next!” Arthur shouted.

Three men just a bit older than Arthur started tossing knives to each other. Arthur was smiling brightly, but I wasn’t so sure. “Maybe?” I said. Then we both watched as a knife was missed in a toss and went right through the man’s shoe. “Definitely not!”

The two men carried the third injured man back to up to the castle so Gaius could see to him. Arthur groaned. “This is going to be a long day, isn’t it?” I grinned at that.

A woman in silk started some sort of strange dance with her hands in the air while contorting her back. I could only guess she learned it from foreigners that visited Camelot at some point. All I knew was that what she was doing looked grotesque. “No way,” I said. Arthur strongly agreed with me.

The next group to step up was sixteen people, four of them women. One man stepped forward. “Sire, in our village we have taken it upon ourselves to learn some of the Greek tragedies. Though it is not tradition for women to be actors, they are greatly skilled.”

Arthur looked confused. “You have no costumes and nothing for a set.” Their clothes were quite plain.

“Hang on, Arthur.” I grabbed his sleeve. “Let’s see what they can do first.”

“Fine. But I don’t have all day. What’s the play?”

“Agamemnon, Sire.”

“Fine. You may act out two scenes. Choose wisely.” Arthur then whispered to me. “Why are you making me listen to this?” I shrugged back at him. 

They performed the first chorus with six men, half the size Aeschylus was said to use, but it was still perfect. I was enthralled. They then skipped to a scene between Clytaemestra and Agamemnon. I was sold. Before Arthur could say a word I pleaded for a few lines each from the actors playing Cassandra and Aegisthus. They gladly delivered.

“They’re amazing.”

“You know this play?” Arthur asked me in surprise.

I smiled. “I’ve seen it performed once in Essetir. It was the only time I left Ealdor to go to the citadel. I was ten years old and they were professional actors.” I then pointed earnestly. “Arthur, they’re better than that group.”

Arthur frowned. “Without costumes or a set, I’m not sure it would be a very impressive act for an audience, Merlin.”

I knew I had him. “You wanted to do something special for your father. Gwen’s a seamstress. She would be great in organizing the making of their costumes. And a set can be built. This is perfect. They clearly already have the whole thing memorized.”

“It’ll cost a lot of money, Merlin.” He whispered harshly. “I wouldn’t be able to pay them afterwards.”

The man who played Agamemnon must have heard Arthur. “We apologize for bringing nothing but ourselves. Yet if you can aid us in this important venture, we do not need to be paid. It would simply be an honor to perform before the court.”

I couldn’t hold back my grin. Arthur rolled his eyes at my excitement. He sighed. “Yes, fine. You’re hired.” Arthur stood up and looked back at me. “I need to make sure they have lodging and then start to organize what they’ll need. Will you be okay getting back to the castle on your own?” 

“Yes, Arthur.” When he paused. “I promise. I’ll go rest.” 

I was light of foot by the time I made it to my room. Gaius’ patient was still getting his foot treated so I went straight to bed. I couldn’t wait to see the Greek Tragedy in its full glory. What I didn’t tell Arthur was that I had the whole thing memorized myself. After I’d seen that performance as a kid I became obsessed with it for a few years. I even knew the whole Oresteia by heart both in Greek and in translation. The only thing that would make this performance better was if they could speak Greek. Another thought I planned to keep to myself.


	11. Chapter 11

I didn’t see much of Arthur or Guinevere for days. They were quite busy. The one time Guinevere visited, she was smiling and so obviously excited. “I’ve never had this much fun,” she squealed. She was personally making the women’s costumes while overseeing the men’s clothes. Arthur’s rare visits consisted of him groaning and blaming me for the headache he had.

When Lord Agravaine had complained about the cost of building a stage, Arthur made the mistake of transferring the blame onto me. Arthur got quite the earful about his poor judgement in trusting a peasant’s opinion on what should be a performance done by and for high society. Leon had been the one to relay that conversation to me.

I was busy too. I couldn’t help myself. Daily, I’d sneak out to visit with the actors. We would talk about proper blocking for a Greek tragedy. I also had them run lines for me. Occasionally, there’d be a line that came off a little flat until I could explain to them what the words were supposed to mean. Guinevere was right. It had been a long time since I’d had this much fun. Every day I was smiling.

Lancelot followed me one day to where the actors were practicing. He apparently watched from the sidelines as I gave advice. I may have acted out part of a scene that I thought needed work. The actors welcomed me. They were simply happy to find someone just as enthused. As soon as I tired myself out, Lancelot appeared at my elbow to walk me back.

He didn’t say a word until we got to my room. He roughly ordered me to magic the door locked before pushing me to sit on the bed and dropping to his knees. He pulled my breeches off of me and settled between my legs. I barely had time to cast a spell to stop sound from leaving the room before his mouth enveloped my cock. Every time he pulled back he would swirl his tongue. He had me begging for it to never end. I screamed as I came and he swallowed every drop. I wasn’t sure how he did that.

I pulled his lips up to mine and licked my taste from his mouth. I then scooted back on the bed while pulling off his shirt and undoing the ties of his pants. I took him in hand while I sucked on one of his nipples. He came quickly while gasping my name.

Afterwards I lay on his chest in a sleepy stupor. “What brought that on?” I said.

“Just you being you.” Lancelot kissed the top of my head. “I never knew you had this side. You’re so carefree.”

“Oh?”

“I love when you smile.” He touched my chin and tilted my head so he could look into my eyes. “I love you, Merlin.”

I didn’t know what to say. I knew I loved him, but I didn’t know if I was in love. Too much change had been happening to me lately. I couldn’t really get a lock on my emotions. So I kissed him instead, trying to put all the feelings that I was sure about into that kiss. I hoped it would be enough for now.

I was finally enjoying life again, which made the time of the next birth hit me hard. Kilgharrah’s so called ‘tingling’ was back with a vengeance. It felt as bad as the first time. I couldn’t get out of bed and I had another fever.

“Why is he like this?” Lancelot asked. He was talking to Gaius in the main room while I was in my bed with the door open a crack. By following along to the conversation I was slightly distracted from the pain.

Gaius sighed. “Kilgharrah warned me this could happen. After the first birth, Merlin’s body acclimated to the changes. It’s still his magic though that keeps his cells in balance. After draining his magic to save the dragons, his cells can no longer cope. Simply put, his body is no longer ready for the change to occur.”

“Is it going to get worse?”

“I fear so.”

I didn’t hear anything else as I started gasping for air. Lancelot appeared in the room suddenly and pulled me into a sitting position.

“Deep and slow breaths, Merlin. You can do it. Breathe with me.” Lancelot rubbed my back as I tried to follow his example.

Several minutes later, my breathing calmed some. Gaius immediately got me to swallow some medicine. I coughed some of it up so he gave me a little more. “That’s it. You’re okay, my boy. Just relax.”

I leaned my head against Lancelot’s shoulder. I sat that way for an hour or so before they had me lie on my side. Lancelot stayed nearby so he could monitor me.

Eventually, I slept. In the late morning when I woke up, my breathing was fine, but my body was cramping fiercely all over. Gaius came into the room. He looked frazzled like he hadn’t gotten any sleep for days. “Merlin, tell me what hurts.”

“My muscles,” I groaned.

“Cramps again?” Gaius muttered before heading back down the stairs. He came back with something more for me to swallow. The relief this time was instantaneous, though it only helped enough to clear my head.

“Where’s Lancelot?”

Gaius sat on the stool. “He watched you all night. I had to attend to the Lady Breanne last night. I came back to send Lancelot to get some sleep. Hopefully, he’ll at least get a bath and a change of clothes.”

“You look awful, Gaius. You should go sleep too.”

Gaius grabbed my hand. “Not a chance.” Before I could protest, he added, “Gwen will be visiting shortly to watch you. I’ll nap then.”

I warily closed my eyes. I let the grip of his hand help me ride the pain.

Guinevere did show up and she stayed in my room for hours. She told me everything she knew about the planning for the play and then detailed how beautiful the costumes were turning out.

Elyan had volunteered to help with the construction of the set. Of course, Arthur got bored with managing the Kingdom and thought he could help out. Arthur then got cocky and wouldn’t pay attention to the advice he was given and hit his thumb with the hammer. He stormed off, cursing everyone in his way. Apparently, Gwaine couldn’t stop teasing him about it afterwards so Arthur ordered Gwaine to work with Elyan. Gwaine simply laughed and pitched in.

“It’s going to be amazing, Merlin. All thanks to you.” Guinevere’s smile was gentle as she squeezed my hand.

“What do you mean?”

Guinevere giggled. “Arthur’s made sure to tell everyone that this was your fault. That you convinced him to have this play. All he’d wanted was some good juggling acts.” Guinevere coughed to stop her laughter. “I know Arthur’s doing this for his father, but I think he agreed to the play just to cheer you up.”

“Don’t be silly.” I covered my mouth to hide the grin.

Lancelot arrived that evening carrying a light broth. He sat behind me to give support as he fed me the broth. I couldn’t even hold a spoon as my hands kept shaking. He made me finish the entire bowl before we settled down. I slept in his arms.

The next day was a muddle. I ended up not remembering much of it, but I had to have been screaming as the next morning my throat hurt. I only knew it was the 29th of June because I asked. I was trying to track in my head the time between births. So far it had been pretty consistent.

That evening I had to pull at my sluggish magic so I could get down to the Birthing Chamber in the cavern. I refused to take Kilgharrah away from Litushna and Ravick. This was also the first time Gaius got to see the chamber. After the last birthing it seemed he was too worried to leave the two of us on our own.

When I changed forms, I blacked out. I only woke up when my body told me to push. After the first egg was delivered, I focused what magic I could reach to see how many eggs there still were. Five more to go. I didn’t know if they could understand me, but I gave them a stern talking to that they were to each take their turn.

In the end, it went quite smoothly. I rested for some time once I was human again. Then I let Lancelot dress me and we moved into the other room.

While placing the dragon eggs on the shelf, I found myself spacing out. When I could focus, my thoughts centered on the designs of each egg I held. One egg was deep blue with tiny red spots all over. Two were golden with silver splotches. The only difference was that one of the two had larger splotches. I wondered what it would signify. Was it just about appearance? Or would the splotches indicate something else entirely? I looked forward to discovering the reason in the future.

I started to think I was dreaming as I lifted the next egg. It was green with purple stripes: thin ones stacked on top of each other, perfectly symmetrical. The last two eggs were white with such a sparkly sheen to them that it had me wanting to ooh and ahh over my own children.

“I still haven’t asked Kilgharrah about the colors of these eggs.”

“It is a mystery,” Gaius commented. “I’m sure they get their strangeness from their father.”

I snorted in response.

“I think they’re beautiful,” Lancelot whispered in my left ear as he stepped behind me. I leaned back into him with a sigh.

“They really are.” The room was already two-thirds filled up. It was a brilliant array of designs. “We should probably go into the castle.”

Lancelot kissed my shoulder. “You don’t want to stay?”

“Arthur and Gwen have been worried about me. Better I don’t disappear for too long.” The three of us went to get some much needed rest. I slept wrapped in Lancelot’s arms and was content despite the aches.

For the next two weeks I let the excitement of the impending performance wash over me. I soaked up any gossip that made it to the Physician’s Quarters either from the Knights’ visits or Gaius’ various patients. I was too drained to make it out to see the actors again.

The fifteenth of July it was just Lancelot with me in the Birthing Chamber as Gaius threw out his back a few days previously. Three eggs were safely delivered. One was a dark blue with a sprinkling of white dots on the top like a night sky. The second one was a light pink, like the make-up noblewomen put on their lips. The last one was a bright yellow with a few wisps of white, just like clouds.

I had just one day to recover before King Uther’s birthday celebration.

This was a tremendous event for Camelot’s citadel. As to be expected it took place outside where all the tourneys have occurred and there was quite the crowd. I sat beside Gaius a couple levels down from where Arthur was seated with his father, King Uther. Arthur’s uncle, Lord Agravaine was late to attend. He finally arrived with a sneer smeared across his lips. In comparison, King Uther was smiling and appeared more aware of his surroundings than he’d been for months.

The tension of excitement that ran through the crowd buoyed me up. Not even the stands with their lack of backing or cushions could ruin my mood. My back hurt more the longer we sat, but I ignored it the best I could. Getting to see this play performed again was a dream come true. The actors stepped out and bowed. King Uther nodded in respect.

If asked it would be hard to describe the set that Arthur had overseen being built. It was raised about two feet and round. There were some pillars made of wood and painted white to look like marble. They’d managed to construct a short wall with a door. Another structure was raised an extra six feet and had a railing. It was this that the Watchman stepped out on to begin the play.

From the moment the Watchman started speaking everything else fell away.

_"I ask the gods some respite from the weariness_  
_of this watchtime measured by years I lie awake_  
_elbowed upon the Atreidae’s roof dogwise to mark_  
_the grand processionals of all the stars of night_  
_burdened with winter and again with heat for men,_  
_dynasties in their shining blazoned on the air,_  
_these stars, upon their wane and when the rest arise._

_"I wait; to read the meaning in that beacon of light,  
a blaze of fire to carry out of Troy the rumor  
and outcry of its capture; to such end a lady’s  
male strength of heart in its high confidence ordains.  
Now as this bed stricken with night and drenched with dew  
I keep, nor ever with kind dreams for company:  
since fear in sleep’s place stands forever at my head  
against strong closure of my eyes, or any rest:  
I mince such medicine against sleep failed: I sing,  
only to weep again the pity of this house  
no longer, as once, administered in the grand way.  
Now let there be again redemption from distress,  
the flare burning from the blackness in good augury." *_

I was ten years old again standing squished between Will and his father as we watched from the sidelines. I was between them because Will was quite mad. We’d just found out Cenred’s plan for another war. This would be the last time Will and I saw Liam as we would be heading back to Ealdor with some of the other villagers that came to see the performance. Liam would be staying to fight.

When we got back, Will found the copy of Oresteia in Greek with a translation and gave it to me. A year later when we heard of Liam’s death, Will cleared out all of Liam’s books. His mother was sick both in body and with grief. Neither of them wanted the reminder of all Liam had given to the crown. I couldn’t stand the thought of all those books burning so they ended up with me. My true love of reading started that year. Will became reclusive and I no longer had someone my age to play with. Instead, I filled my head with stories until I felt less alone.

I pulled myself out of the past with that first spattering of applause. I glanced up and saw Uther smiling. Arthur too looked quite happy. I lost myself in the story of betrayal. The rest of the morning was enchanting.

Still I hurt badly and was grateful when there was a short break in the middle. Many of the nobles were getting restless and this gave the actors a breather as well.

I took the chance to walk around and get the kinks out of my back. Gaius had to leave. He wasn’t recovered enough with his own back problems to have to sit this long. Guinevere sat down in his place next to me right as the performance started up again.

“Isn’t their portrayal riveting, Gwen?” I nudged her with my elbow. “They’re dressed lovely too. You did great.” I told her how I was particularly taken with the gown Clytaemestra wore. I could see hints of the light green dress that was covered by a sort of robe. The robe was forest green and made of a thick material. It had intricate vines and golden flowers as an embellishment and a detailed tanned belt at the waist. The actress pulled off Queen quite well. I was proud of Guinevere’s creation. When I said so, Guinevere blushed before shushing me.

Every line was delivered perfectly. I noticed that they took the suggestions I’d given them three weeks ago. I was sad I couldn’t have spent more time with them. They were dedicated to the craft. I loved that there was even a cart with two horses to stand in for the chariot. All the audience reactions sent a thrill through me as if I was truly a part of the whole experience. I never got the same feeling of excitement during tournaments. Of course that might have been because I was always so worried that Arthur would get hurt. There were shocked gasps when Cassandra and then Agamemnon were killed. The play was stupendous.

At the end of the performance when the actors went to bow, King Uther threw a large bag of coins down in thanks. Some of the other nobles eyed each other before they too started throwing smaller bags of coins onto the stage. It seemed the actors were going to get paid after all. I clapped my hands in delight.

There would be a feast later to celebrate with the actors that night. It was exciting even though I wouldn’t be able to attend. I made sure Lancelot joined the rest of the Knights. “I want all the juicy tidbits. Just don’t drink too much or else you’ll miss something.”

“You’ll be okay?” Lancelot asked.

“Gaius decided not to attend. His back was barely recovered and then we had to sit on those benches. We’ll have a quiet evening.” I sat at the table and smiled. Honestly, I would have enjoyed the feast if I could have attended as a guest. Yet there was no way I could be serving with the way I felt. One of us should get to enjoy the food.

Arthur came to the Physician’s Quarters to thank me before the feast. “Merlin, I haven’t seen my father in such high spirits for years! Listen clearly because I doubt I’ll ever have reason to say it again, but you were right. I’m glad I brought you to the auditions. The play was a great idea.”

I barely had time to beam at him before he was already out the door. “You did a good thing, Merlin,” Gaius said. “You made both Arthur and Uther happy.” I gave him a look. “And you definitely enjoyed yourself too. Come eat now.”

The stew wasn’t much and I’d had the same thing for weeks now as Gaius continued his attempts to fatten me up with the thick sauce. Still the day was brilliant and nothing could ruin it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Scene from Greek Tragedy: Agamemnon - 
> 
> Aeschylus. Oresteia, ed. David Grene; ed./trans. Richmond Lattimore. (Chicago: The University of Chicago Press, 1953), 1:35.


	12. Chapter 12

Summer truly hit a few days after the play. The heat ramped up and I couldn’t stop sweating even if I was just in the castle. Lancelot was making me drink water constantly and I was only allowed outside at night when it started to cool.

It was late into the evening one day before the heat broke. It was just cool enough for me to walk around the courtyard. I was itching to see the forest. “No, Merlin. With the increase in visitors to the citadel that the play drew, there’s been more sightings of bandits. It’s not safe to wander at night.” Lancelot walked beside me. We’d had this same argument yesterday.

“It’s been over a month since I’ve walked among the trees.” I lowered my voice even though no one else was close by. “My magic is craving to connect to the land. This build up of need feels similar to anxiety. Losing my mind a bit here, Lance.” I couldn’t help scratching at my arms. 

Lancelot reached out to still my hands. He was frowning with obvious concern. “I didn’t realize it had gotten this bad.” 

I sighed a bit as he rubbed his hands up my arms. “Just an hour? We don’t have to go far.”

“Okay, Merlin.” Lancelot smiled. “Only one hour.”

A large smile stretched across my face. “Come on!” I grabbed his arm and started walking towards the gate.

“We didn’t pack anything,” Lancelot laughed. 

“Don’t need anything for an hour walk, do we?”

It was beautiful out. The moon was already creeping slowly above our heads. There was a nice breeze that blew across my skin once we moved close to the trees. My eyes quickly adjusted to the dark as I let my magic fuel my vision. Soon enough I pulled Lancelot off the path and into the woods. When I could no longer hear anyone else about, I reached back to entwine my fingers with his. 

I knew exactly where I wanted to take us. There was a spot not a half hour away by foot that I liked to go to. I could always relax there. We walked in silence before arriving at a clearing about five meters all around. Even in the dark the softness of the grass was noticeable. There were rocks with lichen covering them off to our left by a small pond. The moon made tiny fish glisten when they came near the surface. 

“This place is incredible.” Lancelot gazed with open wonder. “I’ve never been here before. How have I missed it?”

I practically giggled. 

“What?” Lancelot smiled back at me.

“I’ve hidden it. It’s safe here cut off from humans and large beasts alike.” The clearing had its own magic in the air and deep within the ground. It vibrated. I always came here to recharge.

I pulled him to sit on the grass beside me. As soon as he got comfortable, I put my hands in his hair and turned his head so I could kiss him. He kissed me back almost lazily. When we paused, he looked in my eyes. “Is this the real reason you brought me here?”

“We can just be ourselves here.” I gazed back softly. “Lance.” I took a deep breath. “I want to give you more.”

His eyes widened. “I thought we decided to wait.”

I shook my head. “I’m tired of waiting. I can’t wait another three months to be with you.” I paused and gestured to the area around us. “There’s magic here that gives me strength. As soon as we crossed it, all my aches disappeared except for one. The ache to fully be connected to you.” I breathed into his ear. “I want you inside me. Can you do that?”

Lancelot’s voice deepened. “You just had to ask.” He began kissing me with a joy I immediately returned. He bit down on my neck before helping me out of my tunic. He then pushed me down onto the grass. I could feel the magic soothing all my muscles before I became distracted by Lancelot’s mouth. He kissed down my chest before he laved his tongue across my stomach. 

Once I felt he’d had enough fun, I reached up and helped him out of his shirt. Then I flipped us and gave him the same treatment he’d given me until I had him breathing heavily. Then I sat back to take off his boots and breeches. Before I could do anything, he sat up and undressed me the rest of the way. 

I pulled him on top of me, reveling in his bare skin pressing into mine. I then guided his head towards me, encouraging his tongue into my mouth so I could suck on it. I heard his moans reverberating against the roof of my mouth.

The sensation hit deep inside where my magic was housed. Knowing the safety of this place, I let my magic come out to play. My eyes glowed golden for a moment and I pulled back to see Lancelot’s face. He groaned as my magic filled him with a heady warmth and a thousand invisible fingers started kneading into his skin and a thousand tongues licked him all over.

“Merlin,” he gasped. “Don’t stop.” He inhaled deeply. “Though I won’t last long enough for what you asked,” he managed to grunt out between moans.

“That won’t be a problem.” My magic gripped his cock such that he couldn’t come. I also let my magic intensify to encompass both of us. I wanted to feel what it was doing to him. 

My magic pleasured us while we could only grind against each other. When Lancelot started begging, I let the magic pull back to just a pleasant warmth. His hands were holding himself up as he tried to catch his breath. “I didn’t know your magic could do that.”

“It can do more. Something to explore later,” I panted. I whispered a spell as I held my right hand’s palm up. A glistening liquid, thick like oil, appeared on my hand. I twitched my lips at Lancelot. “Now it’s your turn to work magic.”

He kissed me deeply before taking the liquid into his own palm. Fingering me was something we’d already added to our experience with each other. He took it more seriously now. I couldn’t keep in the keening sounds as he added fingers. I was a wreck before he’d decided it was time.

“Ready?” he asked. I kissed him as my answer. 

As he entered me and I felt that stretch for the first time, my world narrowed. My own magic soothed any discomfort so all I felt was the pleasure. It was a high I’d never experienced before. 

“Merlin. You okay?” Lancelot was petting my face.

I met his eyes and grinned. “Get a move on, Lance, we don’t have all night.”

He bellowed a laugh before guiding us into a rocking movement. Each thrust caused more stars to appear in my vision though that might have been because I couldn’t help banging my head back into the ground.

As the pleasure ratched up, I let my magic spread through us. Without conscious thought the magic reached inside Lancelot to pulsate against his prostate. I grinned at him as he cried out. “That’s what you’re doing to me,” I hummed into his ear.

In retaliation, he started jerking my cock with a strong grip as the other arm held me up against him. It was only a matter of moments until I felt the warmth of him coming inside me. The feeling hijacked my body with intense euphoria and my mind drifted away. 

A truly out of body experience; my magic used my orgasm to spread my awareness out beyond the atmosphere of the world and reach out to the stars. I never knew they were so far away or how much power a star held.

I didn’t know how long I stayed out in the vacuum until I felt a pull on my consciousness and heard my name being called. Coming back into my body made me moan as I could still feel the pleasure that made my body tremble in aftershocks.

“Where’d you go?” Lancelot said beside me as he petted my chest.

“Up there.” I pointed at the sky above us. “It was beautiful.”

Lancelot moved so he could kiss me. “As are you.”

We stayed spread out on the grass enjoying the cool breeze for another hour before finally dressing and returning to the castle. I’d never felt so at ease.

The next week was intense in a different way. My aches had quadrupled and I could barely move around. I spent most days in bed bemoaning my life. Lancelot attempted to give me a massage, but it hurt so much he didn’t try again.

Arthur visited me once a day for a few minutes and all he could do was frown and argue with Gaius about why I wasn’t getting any better. Guinevere continued to bring dinner at night. It was the only time I left my room. I wasn’t much company, though I listened as she talked with Lancelot and Gaius.

When my body started prepping for the birth it was pretty bad. Lancelot and Gaius took turns trying to get my fever down. We had no idea why this was happening again. 

On the 27th of July, I had to argue with them both that I didn’t want to call Kilgharrah away from the baby dragons. This might not have been my best plan.

We were in the Birthing Chamber and I’d just undressed when I realized my magic felt different. My eyes widened in panic right before my body started to morph. It made me dizzy as I expanded. But I didn’t grow as big as I’d gotten used to. When I opened my eyes, my vision was still that of a human. Gaius and Lancelot were gaping at me. 

I looked down my body. It was human shaped and I was at my normal height, but bulkier and still covered in red scales. I had thinner wings and a shorter tail. I had a large bulge by my belly. “Gaius?” I squeaked out. 

“This is new, Merlin.” Gaius stepped over to me and looked me over. “Lancelot, you’re going to have to hold him up.”

Lancelot helped me to my clawed feet. “Keeping us on our toes, aren’t you, Merlin?”

My tail balanced me a bit, though I still had to lean some of my weight on Lancelot. “Full of surprises,” I muttered. My voice sounded like my own as well. I looked to Gaius. “Is this going to work the same?”

He examined me. “Yes, I think so. Your body is much smaller, but it looks like the egg will come out the same way. As far as I can tell, it’s just one egg we have to deal with.”

“Just one, okay.” I looked back into Lancelot’s eyes. “I can do this.”

Lancelot nodded back at me. “I’ve got you.”

It was all we had time to say before I bit down on my lip to hold in the scream. The movement felt so much bigger than in my full dragon form. The pain shot through my whole body with each shift. It felt like I was shaking apart.

I clung to the words Lancelot spoke in my ear. It was the first time I got to listen to his voice with normal human hearing during this process. I focused on being thankful for this as the pain overwhelmed me. More and more of my weight was held up by Lancelot.

“Alright, Merlin.” Gaius was kneeling on the ground. “Time to push.”

Each push ripped a yell out of me. My screams had only a hint of a roar. Lancelot shouted encouraging words. It seemed to take forever before the egg left me. Gaius held the egg carefully. It was definitely bigger than all the other eggs. 

Then my body was transforming into my human shape. My magic vibrated. Something important needed to be done. Still naked, I asked Gaius to hand me the egg. I held it and let my magic examine it. The egg was mainly yellow, but it was the state of the life inside that worried me.

Lancelot wrapped a blanket around me. I turned to him. “It needs to hatch now!” I gasped.

“No, Merlin,” Gaius admonished. “There aren’t any cracks.”

“You don’t understand. It's grown as much as the egg will allow it to.” I placed it on the floor before me. I wracked my brain for the name my magic wanted. I held my hand above the egg. “KEA,” I roared with my Dragonlord voice.

I watched as the egg started shaking as the little cracks at the top spread down the shell. What came out of the shell had pale yellow and violet scales and tiny wings and a tiny tail. Yet it was not a full dragon. It was part human, the same as the state I’d just been in.

“My word,” Gaius whispered.

“It can’t grow up like this,” I cried. Lancelot tried to hush me. It made me frustrated. “No, I mean it. The body cannot grow in this state.” I paused and looked the hybrid over. “She needs to choose, at least for now.”

I reached my magic out to her and linked our minds. I couldn’t speak in words as she wouldn’t understand them. Instead, I showed her a visual of the choice, dragon or human babe. It was her choice to make, but she needed to choose quickly.

Thinking it would help, I showed her where she’d be living as a dragon with her siblings. My emotions must have passed to her as Kea immediately knew this would mean she’d be taken away from me. She cried out as a bright light formed around her. When the light cleared there was a beautiful human baby girl in front of me. I carefully picked her up and wrapped her in the extra blanket we had prepared expecting there’d be more eggs. I then held her to my chest. 

While I gazed at her, I was overcome with emotion. She blinked up at me, watching me with just as much fascination. My pulse beat faster as I studied her features. In her human form it was so clear. “Lance, she’s ours.” I looked to him. “Come hold your daughter.”

Lancelot couldn’t speak a word as he sat next to me and reached for Kea. He carefully held her, taking care with her head.

“But how?” Gaius asked.

I snorted. “We slept together while my magic was still forming her. Kea is both human and dragon.” Tears fell down my cheeks. “She chose to grow up as human because she didn’t want to be parted from me.” I looked at Lancelot. “From us.” 

Lancelot gazed at me with his own teary eyes. “She’s beautiful.” Kea’s eyes were blue, but all babies have blue eyes. It would take time to see her true eye color. Hopefully, it’ll pass for human.

Gaius was grumbling as he stood up. “How are we going to hide a human babe?”

A hundred thoughts ran through my head. The strongest one was the need to acknowledge Lancelot as her parent. “We aren’t,” I decided. “She’s Lancelot’s daughter.”

Lancelot stared me down. He then nodded. “She is. But Merlin, she’s more yours. We’ll have to make up who her mother is, but I won’t have you hide that you’re her parent. She’ll need you. Maybe one day she can know the truth.”

I sighed. I knew I was beat. Suddenly, I smiled brightly because I couldn’t complain. We had a daughter. I carefully got dressed. Lancelot then handed me Kea. “Could you collect her shell pieces? I want them with the rest.”

Lancelot just smirked as he’d already started piling the pieces together. We walked to the Incubation Room and I let Lancelot place the parts of the shell on the shelf next to one of the other eggs. I held Kea up to watch. “These are your siblings,” I told her as I pointed to all the eggs. “One day when you’re much older, you’ll be able to fly with them.” I kissed the top of her head.

I shivered in delight as Lancelot’s arms wrapped around me. “Thank you for letting me be a part of your family,” he said. Those words warmed me like a campfire at night. His eyes were the stars and I knew I was in love.


	13. Chapter 13

We walked slowly up to the castle. I’d cast a spell around us so no one would hear Kea wailing. Clearly, she was hungry. Lancelot hurried ahead of us to go purchase goat milk even though it was only three hours after midnight. 

Gaius stored herbs that we could put in the milk to make it more nutritious for Kea. On top of that, I planned to add my own spell. It was a difficult decision to go this route, but I didn’t want to hire a wet-nurse. I feared Kea could show an aptitude for magic. I couldn’t risk a stranger learning of her abilities. “The goat milk will be fine. I’ve done this substitution before,” Gaius said. He smiled gently at me. It didn’t completely relieve my worries.

I sat at the table holding Kea as Lancelot helped Gaius ready the milk. When it was just a little bit warmed up, I whispered a spell over it. Then I put a cloth nipple of sorts over the glass. Kea sucked on it greedily.

Lancelot sat next to me to watch as I fed our daughter. After she’d finished, Gaius taught us how to burp her. We got some cloths together for her bottom then wrapped her in a freshly laundered blanket. While Lancelot held her, I went into my room. I picked up a block of wood I’d been storing with the intent to learn how to carve like my Father. I placed this block on the floor beside my bed and spoke a series of spells that turned the wood into a crib. 

I made the crib as comfortable as possible with some extra blankets. Lancelot laid Kea down with a kiss on her forehead before returning to the main room to heat up soup. I decided to wash my face in the basin beside my wardrobe.

The water wavered when I glanced down. The image of a woman’s face appeared. “Freya?” Months ago, when retrieving the sword Excalibur from Freya to help take back the Citadel, I filled my waterskin with water from the lake. Ever since, I’d kept some of that water in my basin with the hope I’d see her again. This was the first time she appeared.

“Hello, Merlin.” Her soft voice rang out. “Congratulations. Your daughter is stunning. As are your dragons, Litushna and Ravick. I’m sure all your dragons will be quite lovely.”

“Thank you.” I didn’t know what else to say. Still, I tried to think of something. “It’s all been a whirlwind. Such a big change in such a short time.”

Freya smiled. “I can only imagine.” She sighed. “I wanted to speak with you because I know that you need a story for where Kea came from. I wanted to offer my name. I do not mind if you say I am the mother. Nor that I passed away and that’s why Kea is with you.”

“No, Freya, you don’t have to.”

“Please, Merlin. Consider me her Godmother. And one day that’s what you’ll be able to tell her. I wish to help you in any way I can.”

Lancelot stepped into the room right at that moment. “Merlin, who are you talking to?”

“Lancelot,” Freya’s voice rang out. “My name is Freya.”

He shuffled until he could stand next to me and look into the water. “Hello.” Lancelot turned to me in question.

I smiled in remembrance. “Freya was my first love. I only knew her a few days before she died.” My words came out a bit choked. Echoes of old sadness filled me. “She’s now the Lady of the Lake of Avalon. She’s offered that we say she is Kea’s mother.”

Lancelot turned back to Freya. “You are more than generous, Freya.”

Freya nodded her head. “Your daughter is going to be amazing, Lancelot. I cannot wait to see what joy she brings to both your lives.” She turned to me. “I must be going now, Merlin.” Her image began to fade until I could only see the bottom of the basin.

Lancelot kissed my head. “She seemed nice.”

I kissed him back. Then we snuggled in my tiny bed to sleep.

Sleep didn’t last long before we had to change Kea’s cloths. Afterwards, I had to rock her to sleep. Soon enough I was waking again to feed her.

It was mid afternoon when Arthur visited. Gaius was out running errands and Lancelot had gone to get lunch. I held Kea in my arms after feeding her. “Where did that baby come from?” Arthur yelled as soon as he stepped in the room. This made Kea start crying. “Sorry. But where?” Arthur whispered. 

I rocked Kea back and forth. “She’s my daughter, Arthur.” I played with Kea’s hands to distract her. Luckily it worked as she stopped crying.

“What?” Arthur came closer to look.

“Her mother passed away last night after delivering her.” I sighed. I hated yet again lying to Arthur, but I had to. “I didn’t know Freya had been pregnant. She’d waited to tell me, but then I got sick and hadn’t seen her in months. I found out when Gaius was called to the lower town to help in the birth. I went with him. She told me the baby was mine.” I breathed carefully as I remembered holding Freya as she died. “She told me right before she died.”

Arthur paused in shock. He shook himself a bit. “I’m so sorry, Merlin.”

There was something comforting about Freya’s death being acknowledged even if it had been in different circumstances. “Thanks.”

Arthur sat beside me. “What’s the baby’s name?”

“Kea.” I turned to him. “Would you like to hold her?”

“Oh, no.” Arthur shook his head.

“You won’t drop her.” I laughed. “Come on.”

He hesitantly reached out to pick her up. I showed him how to hold her. I was filled with warmth watching Arthur make faces at Kea as he played with her hands just like he’d seen me doing. This was one baby of mine I wouldn’t have to hide from Arthur. The cache of dragon eggs hiding out beneath the castle was another story.

I also knew that I would have to be more careful with Lancelot. We wouldn’t be able to explain yet another baby. Arthur would start thinking I was stealing them. A laugh built up in my chest at the thought.

“What’s so funny?” Arthur asked. 

“Nothing. Kea just looks adorable is all.” I smiled at my daughter.

“Well, I need to get back to work.” Arthur passed Kea back to me. As Arthur went to leave, Lancelot came in with a tray of food. “Never thought I’d see Merlin as a father,” Arthur said to him. 

Lancelot grinned. “It’s certainly something, isn’t it?” 

I tried to hold in my laughter at the smitten look on Lancelot’s face. Arthur didn’t notice as he was already walking away. Lancelot placed the food down and then closed the door. He leaned down to kiss me before taking Kea. “Eat, Merlin.”

The food was delicious. I found it crazy how quickly my appetite came back. After I was done, I stood up stiffly. I walked back to my room and stretched out on my bed. Lancelot followed with Kea in his arms.

“How bad is it?” Lancelot asked. Gaius had reluctantly given me another draft of pain medicine that morning.

I huffed a little. “It’s not good. I think it’s because my body was closer to my own size when I delivered her.” Lancelot opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off. “I’m not going to let it stop me from caring for Kea.”

Lancelot sat on the stool. “I wouldn’t ask you to. But I’m here to help.” He looked down at her and that goofy grin of his was back. “I want to take care of her.” He looked through the door before lowering his voice. “She’s mine and I will give her all the love I can even if we have to hide the truth.”

I felt overcome with emotion in that moment. I gazed at him holding our daughter. “Lance, I love you so much.” I felt tears flowing down my cheeks as I spoke. 

Lancelot put Kea in the crib and then shut the door. He stretched out beside me. Our limbs entangled so he wouldn’t fall off the bed. “I love you, Merlin.” He wiped the tears away and then kissed me. Kea gurgled beside us. 

That evening, Guinevere visited with dinner. I listened from my room as she put the trays down. “We should let Gwen meet Kea,” I told Lancelot as we sat up from the bed. Though I thought Kea should be sleeping, she was wide awake. I picked her up as Lancelot left my room first. I followed after while holding Kea to my chest.

“Hello, Gwen.” Guinevere raised her head to acknowledge me and was stumped when she saw me carrying a baby. “This is Kea. My daughter.” 

Guinevere squealed and stumbled towards me. “Your daughter? She’s beautiful.” Guinevere looked giddy as she studied Kea.

Kea was quite a bit longer than a normal newborn and chubbier. Considering her hybrid form had been bigger than my other two dragons, the contrast made some sense. It was decided she could still pass off as a newborn because her skin was still quite red in places, consistent with birth. I had asked Gaius about that as she wouldn’t have the normal abrasions that would occur in a human birth. Gaius’ best guess was the transition from scales to skin may have left some temporary marks.

“You want to hold her?” I asked. Guinevere nodded with a big smile. I passed Kea over to her, blankets and all. She took care to hold her gently.

Guinevere looked up from admiring Kea’s face. “Who’s her mother?”

“Freya.” I frowned. “She didn’t survive the delivery.”

“Oh, Merlin. I’m sorry.” Guinevere’s eyes watered. 

I hated that I was making Guinevere sad. I wished I could tell her the truth. Instead I quickly changed the subject. “I have a question. Do you know anything about getting clothes made for Kea?”

The change in topic seemed to work as Guinevere smiled brightly. “Oh, I would love to make Kea dresses and nightwear. Though, you remember Sandra, the maid? Her daughter just grew out of her baby clothes. I’ll ask her if you could borrow them in the meantime.”

“Thank you so much, Gwen. That’s perfect.” I sat down beside Lancelot. “Lance, I think I’m going to need to buy a cradle to have out here.” Making the crib last night had been exhausting. I probably shouldn’t have used my magic like that so soon.

Lancelot nodded. “I don’t mind hunting one down for you. Anything else you need?”

“Kea is too young for toys,” Guinevere said. “But a nice doll would be good. One without hair though until she’s older.” She took in our puzzled looks. “So she doesn’t choke on it.”

“Good idea.” I finished eating. “I should hold Kea so you can eat, Gwen.”

Kea started crying when I took her into my arms. For a second I thought she was mad I took her from Guinevere, but then I closed my eyes and let my magic brush her mind. Kea was just hungry. I retrieved the goat milk that was prepared and started feeding her.

“No wet-nurse?” Guinevere asked.

“It’s not necessary. Gaius adds something to the milk to make sure Kea’s getting everything she needs.” I had a feeling I’d be having this conversation a lot.

Some ten minutes later, Gaius walked into the quarters. “Hello, Gwen. Lancelot. How’s Kea doing, Merlin?”

“She took a nap earlier. She seems well.” Kea kept drinking. 

Gaius sat down to eat. “This is delicious, Gwen. Thank you for keeping us fed. It’s been difficult not being able to get to the market every day.”

Guinevere laughed. “No problem. I think you should take advantage of it. Arthur is determined that a hearty diet will cure Merlin of this illness.” She turned to me after a few minutes as I put away the bottle and burped Kea. “Speaking of, how are you feeling? It seems like your symptoms come back twice a month. I can’t imagine how awful this must be for you.”

I laughed. “I keep thinking I’m getting used to it, but then every time is a new experience.” Lancelot patted my shoulder as he winked at me. I shoved him a little with the arm that was unoccupied.

Guinevere definitely noticed our exchange. She looked back and forth between us. “Am I missing something?” she asked.

“Nope.” I coughed to stifle another laugh. “Lancelot has been here for most of it is all. He’s seen me at my worst. I’m never not complaining.”

“Hey, now.” Lancelot gripped the back of my neck. “What you’re going through, you have every right to complain about it. It’s a huge trial and you’re doing amazing each time.”

Guinevere still looked suspicious. She turned her focus. “Gaius, have you found a cure yet?”

“As I’ve told you and Arthur, it’ll work itself out on its own. I have no doubt he’ll be fine in a few months.” Gaius was great at sticking to the fictional story. When Guinevere went back to her food, he glared at Lancelot and me for confusing the situation with her.

I ignored the glare and gazed down at Kea. She looked ready to sleep, finally. “I’m going to put her in her crib. Maybe get some sleep myself. Goodnight, Gwen.” 

As I went into my room, I wished my bed was big enough I could safely have Kea lay in the bed with me. Instead, I put her in the crib after kissing her head. She had no hair on the top of her head yet. In my mind, I saw the mix of yellow and violet scales atop her head in her hybrid form. I knew one day she would be a beautiful dragon, but I also wondered what she would look like when she grew into a woman. I couldn’t wait to find out. 

As a human, her skin was a bit tanner than mine. I could already tell this despite the redness. I also saw Lancelot in her nose and chin. Unfortunately, her ears already stuck out like mine. I hoped once she grew her hair long it would hide them. Lancelot told me earlier today that he thought Kea had my mouth too. Right now she had my eye color although my instinct was that the color would change in a couple months.

I found I couldn’t stop watching her. Eventually, my body’s aches forced me to lay down. It’d been hard these past months, always being in pain. Though with Kea here, and knowing one day I would see all my dragons hatch and learn to fly, happiness filled my chest. I fell asleep listening to Lancelot and Gaius entertaining Guinevere.

The next day I had a stream of visitors. Elyan, Guinevere’s brother, gave an awkward congratulations. Leon was skittish around Kea. Percival was sweet and held Kea when she started crying. Gwaine was the most memorable as he stayed the longest once introduced to Kea. If my daughter wasn’t a baby, I’d be worried. He was definitely flirting with her.

The next two weeks passed in a blur of exhaustion. I forced myself to take care of Kea even while my body tried to hamper me from getting out of bed. One night, Lancelot watched me struggle with the sheets. He laughed hysterically when I ended up knocking us both to the floor. My lack of sleep was taking its toll. 

Guinevere came through with borrowed clothes. Lancelot got a cradle and commissioned a chair of sorts to be made once she was old enough to sit up. He also found two cute cloth dolls. Kea was ignoring them for now, but I always tucked them next to her. 

I was mentally unprepared when I had to concede my charge of Kea to Lancelot and Gaius. I couldn’t get out of bed and I had a light fever. Twice a day, when I managed to stay conscious, Lancelot would let me see Kea. Sometimes she was asleep so he’d support me so I could look at her in the crib. I hated that I couldn’t hold her. I didn’t have the strength to do so safely and my body would jerk around from cramps. Lancelot suggested he hold Kea in bed with me, but it wasn’t worth the risk.

At night, I couldn’t stop the tears. I hated being parted from her. It felt like every time I fell asleep, I’d wake up to Kea crying. And then I had to watch as Lancelot was the only one able to feed or clean her and give her comfort. 

The twelfth of August we left Kea with Gaius. Lancelot and I sneaked down to the Birthing Chamber. I dragged my feet as we went. I’d stopped using my magic as soon as I left the room. I had to hold it back until right before heading into the cavern. Lately, I feared more about someone catching my eyes glowing. It wasn’t a perfect solution as I kept stumbling whenever my muscles cramped up.

It had been hard to convince Gaius to stay behind. I had to assure him that Lancelot and I hadn’t been active and that the eggs would be full dragons. I wasn’t sure if I’d been blushing or if it was the fever that had made my cheeks hot. Lancelot had definitely blushed before we left.

“We’re here. My favorite room in all of Camelot.” I let my magic out to calm some of the pain.

Lancelot laughed. “Your humor needs some work, Merlin.” He helped me undress. “I know your favorite room is where you’re storing all the eggs.”

“Okay, you have me there. They’re so pretty.” My eyes brightened just thinking of them.

“That they are.” Lancelot put my clothes against the wall. “Ready?”

I giggled. I immediately stifled it with a hand over my mouth. “We got here a little early. I think you just wanted to see me naked.”

Lancelot walked closer and looked me up and down. “Nah. I just want to see your beautiful red scales.”

I swatted his chest. “No insulting me with a compliment at the same time, that’s not fair.”

He pulled me to him and kissed me until I forgot what I was annoyed about. “Human or dragon, you’re the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen.” Lancelot massaged the back of my neck. “And to be clear, I always was attracted to you.”

I smiled back at him. “It was just your protective instincts that made you show it then.”

He shrugged. “I hate seeing you hurting.” He rubbed his hands up and down my arms. “I think it was because I realized that I needed to do anything I could to help. It made me act upon my feelings for you.”

“I couldn’t have asked for a better best friend. I love you.” I paused. “But you need to back up, it’s time.”

Lancelot stepped backwards quickly. I lay down on the ground. My vision turned golden as my body split apart to reform. It took long enough that I knew when I opened my eyes I’d be seeing out the eyes of a full dragon.

“Those scales.” Lancelot walked forward to caress my side. 

I’d stopped having Lancelot count ages ago, so I let my magic tell me. “It’ll be five eggs.” I told him. I gave the eggs my usual mental lecture about taking turns as Lancelot got into position. 

The first egg was orange. The second and third were the same shade of green. The fourth egg was black. And the fifth egg looked like a white opal that I’d once seen traded in the market.

I was still panting once I was human as I stared at them. Lancelot started to help me into my clothes. “That wasn’t so bad this time.”

I laughed harshly. “Then why does my throat hurt even in this form? I know I was yelling.”

“You’re right. My ears are still ringing a bit.” Lancelot gently hugged me. 

After I’d placed the eggs on the shelves in the Incubation Room, I turned to Lancelot. “You think Gaius is okay with Kea?”

He kissed my forehead. “I’m sure you can stay here for an hour or two with the eggs.” 

We sat down. I leaned back against Lancelot while wrapped in an extra blanket. The room was still warm. I’d redone the spell a week ago. Still my body felt chilled deep inside. I’d almost grown used to this part. 

I couldn’t see all the eggs from this position. There were 65 eggs with dragons incubating. Three sets of shell pieces were also mixed in on the shelves. I could see the spaces for new eggs growing smaller. Part of me looked forward to putting down the last egg and having the chance to fully heal. Another part couldn’t stop thinking of the next eggs I’d birth. 

“You know, Kilgharrah never said how long between birthing cycles.”

Lancelot squeezed me a bit tighter. “I hope you get a break. A chance to enjoy your children.”

“I’m looking forward to learning to fly beside Litushna and Ravick. And we’ll have Kea to keep us occupied while waiting on these dragons here. I wonder what they’ll all be like.”

“In appearance? Or do you think they’ll have your personality?”

“You mean my wit and charm?” I laughed.

Lancelot kissed my neck. “Your stubbornness.” He nipped at my ear. “Your bravery.” I turned my head to meet his lips. As he pulled back from the kiss, he whispered, “Your ability to love with all your heart.” 

I sighed happily. “I’m not surprised my heart fell in love with you. But it’s so strange to feel all this love for my Litushna, for my Ravick, for our Kea, and for all these dragons yet to be hatched. I didn’t know my heart could feel this much.”

“Like I said. Your heart is precious.” He gazed into my eyes. “I can tell that you already have love for the dragon eggs yet to form within you.”

I frowned a bit. He was right. “Is that strange?”

He shook his head and nuzzled into my hair. “It’s just how beautiful you are.”

We said nothing more for a couple hours. I started humming a lullaby I remembered my Mother singing when I was little. Sometimes I’d have us shift on the blanket so I could look at a different section of eggs. 

Soon we relieved Gaius and I held Kea for the first time in days. When it was time to feed her hours later, I got up to handle it despite the soreness. I’d already missed too much time with her.


	14. Chapter 14

The path to Arthur’s chambers felt strange as I hadn’t made the trip for three months. Kea had been up all night crying. Gaius had finally sent Lancelot to the chambers he shared with Percival. The way Lancelot told it, Percival had started giving him knowing looks. Percival asked once in all seriousness where Lancelot had been spending his nights for weeks on end. Lancelot didn’t have a good answer.

Gaius also kicked me out. With the peace of Kea finally sleeping, Gaius didn’t want to deal with my grouchiness. I had quite the headache and I needed a distraction. I hadn’t seen Arthur lately. He’d been too busy to visit. Luckily, when I passed George in the hallway, he said he’d just woken Arthur.

I knocked on the door. It was a bit strange for me to knock, but I didn’t want to startle Arthur considering I’d been gone so long. “Come in,” came a muffled voice through the door.

“Hello, Sire. I was wondering if you had some chore I could take care of?” I might have kicked my feet shyly a bit to add to the pathetic image I was making.

“Merlin! You are still on leave.” Arthur groaned. “Don’t you think for a second I’m not getting updates from Gaius. It was just a few days ago you had another flare-up. I don’t need you collapsing on me. You still need to recover.”

“Come on, Arthur.” I could hear myself starting to whine. “I’ve been secluded with a crying baby for weeks. I need a break. Please.”

“That’s what you get for sleeping around,” Arthur muttered.

My cheeks grew very hot and I knew it was spreading down my neck. Who knew what my ears looked like? “Well,” I cleared my throat. “Is there anything I can do?”

Arthur grunted before pulling out a chair at the table. “Just sit down and eat with me.” There was quite a spread in front of Arthur. Apparently, George took the whole ‘meal fit for a king’ to ridiculous extremes.

I sat gratefully. The walk here had sapped the strength in my legs. As I nibbled on a piece of sausage, I felt an urge to confess everything. It wasn’t the first time I’d felt this way around Arthur. Though the conversation I’d fantasized about was a simple ‘I’m a sorcerer.’ Maybe I’d even confess about being a Dragonlord. It was only now in the last few months that the conversation would become even more personal. I’d be telling him about what it was like to turn into a dragon. How vulnerable I felt while giving birth to a crazy number of dragon eggs. That it involved a pain Arthur could never imagine. A pain I almost forgot days later only to be horribly reminded of its awfulness once it happened again.

A part of me also wanted to tell him that I’d fallen in love with a certain Knight of his. I wanted to explain that Kea came from that love in circumstances I didn’t truly understand. Not that any of these dragon eggs made much sense. It defied my understanding of the balance of life and death.

Now Gaius had described to me the reproduction I experienced as asexual. He had a name for it in reptiles: parthenogenesis. He also said that those reptiles were capable of their young having varied appearances. It made me wonder if my dragons would all look different. Their egg shells definitely steered that way. 

Despite everything Gaius told me about the reproduction, I had doubts. The most pressing one centered around the simple fact that I wasn’t a dragon. That element of magic to bring the dragons to life weighed on me. My only conclusion was that because they were creatures of magic, their births didn’t need a sacrifice. Also maybe the feasibility of Kea’s life was simply that she was part dragon.

The strangest thing was that I wanted another. Since I held Kea in my arms, I’d been overcome with desire for Kea to grow up with a sibling. It was way too soon to even approach Lancelot on this. So I just wanted to share this crazy idea with Arthur. Of course, that was impossible. He wouldn’t understand any of it. So instead, I shared some of his breakfast in silence. 

“You are awfully quiet.” Arthur popped some blueberries in his mouth. Without really chewing, he swallowed them. “And not a normal ‘I’m worrying about silly things’ quiet I get from you on occasion either.”

“Didn’t get much sleep. Crying baby, remember?” I drank some water. “Though to be frank, I couldn’t care less. She’s adorable even when she’s upset. I’m still at that point where everything she does is amazing. The fact she’s even here to keep me up at night is a wonder.”

“Sure,” Arthur grinned. He raised his eyebrows in pending sarcasm.“Her crying is a wonder. So that’s why you’re hiding here?”

I laughed. “I just needed a break.”

“Well if you want something to do so desperately…” He stretched before pointing to his desk. “I do have a few speeches that need some revising.” Arthur stood from the table and went over to rifle through some scrolls.

I spent the next hour and a half making notes. Occasionally, I’d interrupt Arthur’s own writing to ask him questions when I thought the message I was revising was unclear. I was also delighted that Arthur was in such a good mood despite any worry he had over his father’s health. Although Uther enjoyed the play, he had quickly reverted back into his depression and spoke very little. It was heartening that Arthur was still happy to have seen a moment of the father he remembered. Overall, it was quite a pleasant way to spend the morning.

The day only soured once Lord Agravaine appeared. He was dressed in the richest fabrics he owned. He oozed slime with every step he took. “Merlin, how lovely to see you. It must be such a terrible affliction you have.” He was looking above my head. “I’m glad to see you up and about.” He walked over to Arthur before turning back to me. This time he made eye contact. “I also hear congratulations are in order. A daughter, is it?” 

My smile was forced as I answered him. “Yes. Thank you.” I bowed my head a bit. 

“I imagine now with a child to take care of, you’ll be focusing on your work as a physician assistant then?” He turned to Arthur. “It seems you’ve been managing quite well with your new manservant.”

The pounding in my temples coincided with a clenching of my fists. I chose to not respond. Arthur, on the other hand, spoke up. It surprised me. “Uncle, Merlin’s leave is just temporary. As I mentioned before, I’ll have need of him once he’s recovered. As for his new baby, I’m sure I can cut back on his duties.”

Agravaine frowned. “But is this truly what he wishes?” He turned to me. “Surely, this position is no longer viable in your situation.” He smiled genially. “I’m only thinking of your future. I imagine it would be heartbreaking to be separated from your child if say Arthur had to go on any mission to protect the Kingdom from a threat. Especially with her so young and without a mother to care for her.”

“Is this true, Merlin?” Arthur turned to me with the saddest eyes. “Do you not desire to stay in my employ?”

I shook my head vehemently. “Arthur, no. I am in your service as long as you’ll have me. I’ll work out supervision of my child when the need comes. Besides, with these trips we were never gone very long.”

Arthur sighed. “I worry about the danger I could put you in.”

“I may not be a Knight, but it’s the same situation. They have families. You never stop them from putting their lives on the line.” My headache was only getting stronger. “We’ll make it work, Arthur.”

“Enough. I can see this is upsetting you. We’ll speak of it in the future. For now, you’re still on leave. Perhaps you should go rest.” I started to protest, but he nodded his head to Lord Agravaine. Of course, they wanted to talk in private. 

I left the room with a frown. Agravaine was a problem. I didn’t know what he had against me. There was something I was missing there. A zing of danger that I couldn’t yet figure out. Somehow I just knew that my distractions of late were going to haunt me.

Once a day, I walked the halls. I avoided Agravaine the best I could. A couple times he’d arch his eyebrows at me as we passed each other in the hall. 

A week later, I went down to visit my eggs. I’d finally figured out how to make that grate and everlasting fire I wanted. As I walked into the cavern, I had a nagging feeling that I was being followed. Visually, I saw nothing when I turned around. I let my magic push my senses outward. Still nothing. I decided I must be getting paranoid and continued on. 

Once I entered the Incubation Room, I couldn’t help admiring each egg. I gave them each my attention individually. I avoided touching the eggs as I didn’t want to disturb them. When I passed the egg shells for my dragons I'd had to hatch, I was overcome with a need to see them. I knew it would be at least three months before I had the chance. 

The concern was that it wouldn’t be safe for them to come near Camelot. It was awful that I wouldn’t be able to visit with them until Kilgharrah was able to teach me how to control the change and then teach me how to fly. I hated us being apart. Of course, I wasn’t sad I’d been able to save them. That at least brought me joy.

Creating that grate was an effort in frustration. It needed to let out just the right amount of warmth and had to be of a metal that wouldn’t melt. It was a magical fire, so it needed to be perfect. Eventually, I completed the grate. Calling the fire forth was much easier though more exhausting. Last, I had to undo the warmth spell I’d created for the room. 

I stayed another hour studying the temperature to make sure the room was heated correctly. When I trudged out of the cavern, I felt completely worn down. As I passed by the chains that had once imprisoned Kilgharrah, I heard a noise. I spread out my awareness, but like last time, I found nothing. I stood in one place for several minutes trying to figure out what the noise could have been. I knew the room to my eggs was concealed. I reassured myself that they were safe. I left the cavern feeling uneasy.

A few days later, Arthur told Lancelot he should get some practice in before he forgot how to hold a sword. I knew Lancelot had been getting antsy, so I encouraged him to train. He started spending an hour with his sword-fighting every day. It made him more relaxed.

It was the day my body started readying for the next birth that Gwaine and Percival half-carried Lancelot back to the Physician’s Quarters. “What happened?” I yelled.

Gaius gestured for them to put Lancelot on the patient cot. “Just a stab to my thigh, Merlin. No biggie.” Lancelot still groaned in pain as Gaius started cutting away his pants to get to the wound. 

I looked to Gwaine for an explanation. He shrugged. Percival spoke up. “It was one of the new Knights. A son of a lord. Sir Vensen. After he stabbed Lancelot, he started freaking out. Said he thought the sword he used was blunt.” Percival sneered. “It was obviously not a practice sword.”

“You didn’t believe him?” I asked. 

“It was an accident, Merlin.” Lancelot gripped my hand for a second as he tried to reassure me.

Gwaine started pacing. “I don’t know, Lancelot. I trust Percival here. These nobles are still out of sorts that now anyone can be a Knight.”

“He looked all too happy to take you on,” Percival added.

Gaius started cleaning the wound. “Perhaps you two should return to your training. Tell Prince Arthur that from what I can see, the wound will heal fine. It’ll just be some time before Lancelot is back on his feet.”

With the two gone, I moved closer to Lancelot and gripped his hand again as Gaius continued to treat him. “It’s vicious for them to treat all of you this way.”

“Merlin, you must expect some push back,” Gaius said. Lancelot nodded in agreement.

I frowned. “Doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

Gaius decided to keep Lancelot on the cot through the night to keep an eye on the wound just in case. That evening, I kept him company while looking after Kea. It was uncomfortable to sleep in my bed that night without Lancelot curled next to me.

The next morning Lancelot had gotten worse. “I can’t believe I didn’t see this before.” Gaius was muttering as he got a potion together.

“See what? Is it infected?” I asked. Lancelot had a terrible fever and was sweating. He hadn’t woken up either.

“I believe the blade was poisoned.” Gaius finished the potion and I helped him get Lancelot to swallow it. “This will help with the fever. Now I just have to figure out what poison it is.”

“You need the blade?” I started to leave to find it, but then Kea started crying in my room. I was torn. 

Luckily, Guinevere chose that time to visit. “I heard Lancelot was injured yesterday?”

“We need the blade that cut him, Gwen. It was poisoned. Talk to Gwaine and Percival.” I was anxious that I couldn’t go with her as I watched her run back out the room. I was grateful she didn’t ask questions.

The rest of the day, I split my time between Lancelot and Kea. The blade couldn’t be found. Probably destroyed. Sir Vensen was arrested. Arthur was angry. Until Gaius could determine what poison was affecting Lancelot, there was no evidence to prosecute Sir Vensen. To add to it, Lancelot was getting worse. He’d started trembling and was having difficulty breathing.

I helped Gaius with research even as I started feeling worse myself. I had my own fever that I was trying to hide from Gaius. I stayed out of bed by will alone. The fourth day Gaius and I were able to narrow it down to two different poisons. Gaius would have to test Lancelot’s blood. If he got the wrong treatment it could kill him even quicker. 

That evening, I gave into my pain. Kea was crying in her crib. The fact that she kept crying without stop finally alerted Gaius to my predicament. “This whole time you’ve been feeling the effects and I didn’t notice.” Gaius put a wet cloth on my forehead before checking on Kea. He took her out into the main room to change her cloth nappy.

“Lancelot has needed your attention. I’ll be fine.” I watched as he put Kea back into the crib. 

Guinevere brought dinner and I was grateful that she could help Gaius handle the three of us. I zoned out with the pain. I wouldn’t really call it sleep though. Tomorrow would be a challenge.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings available at the end of the chapter.

“You must also perform your duties to the King,” Gaius reminded Guinevere. She didn’t want to leave us because I was still obviously in pain. Gaius had managed to determine the poison used on the sword. He’d treated Lancelot just an hour ago. Lancelot’s breathing had already improved, though he needed more observation.

Guinevere frowned. “You’re busy with Lancelot. I need to be here for Merlin. He’s clearly bad off again.” 

Even from my room, I could hear how frustrated she was that I hadn’t recovered yet. Guinevere walked into my room to check on me. Perhaps she thought I could convince Gaius to let her stay. She wrung her hands before changing the damp cloth on my forehead. She bit her lip while trying to decide what to say.

“I’ll be fine,” I said before she could get a word in. “Thanks to you, Kea’s already sleeping. That’s all I’m going to do tonight as well.” My voice was strained. I couldn’t use any of my magic today, so I had the added pain of holding that back. As soon as she left, I could give myself a boost of energy.

“Alright, Merlin.” She exited the room and said goodbye to Gaius. 

Gaius came to my room. “She’s gone, Merlin.”

I released the hold on my magic. My eyes started glowing and immediately the aches receded enough I could breathe comfortably.

“I’m sorry you’re going to be on your own,” Gaius said. “I would come with you, but Lancelot’s condition is still critical.”

“It’s fine. I’ve done it on my own before.” 

I took note that today was the 27th of August as I tried to relax. A couple hours later, Gaius hugged me and handed me a satchel with food. I took one last look at Kea before sneaking my way to the cavern.

The Birthing Chamber was just as inviting as always. I meant that with all the sarcasm my frail body could convey. Anxiety flooded my system as I undressed. I remembered vividly how difficult this position had been all those weeks ago.

Changing forms came suddenly. I felt lightheaded as I struggled to adjust to my new perception of the room. The height difference always got to me. My magic told me I had four lives waiting to come out. I focused on the joy I had for these dragons. It served as a distraction while I got into position.

I planted my feet as the first egg moved. The further along it went, the more I had to work at holding myself up. I knew I was yelling. The agony always made me scream in a roar my normal vocal cords couldn’t produce. Between eggs, I felt dizzy. I just wanted to lay down and rest. My dragon babies wouldn’t let me. 

Once the fourth egg made it safely to the floor, I collapsed nearby. I was already struggling to hold onto consciousness, so I was not surprised when the explosion of the change caused me to black out. 

When I woke up, my whole body felt inflamed. There was a painful throbbing that was nearly an out of body experience. This happened every time. I hurt in a place my current form didn’t own. The part I did have was hurting fiercely too. This at least tethered me to my physical form.

My body trembled, making me clumsy as I dressed. I truly missed having Lancelot here with me. There had always been a bit of embarrassment with needing to be helped. But after the first few times, I’d grown to enjoy having him comfort me. At least I knew Lancelot was going to recover.

I kneeled down next to my eggs. They were all green, but with different wavy patterns of white etched into the shells. My heart once again expanded to see evidence of new life. My dragons. I whispered a hello to each of them. I held them one at at time for a few minutes before placing them onto the blankets in the cart. “Time to take you to your new home.”

I pushed the cart out of the room. A punch came from my right, slamming into my head. It staggered me. Nausea built up and I fell to my knees. 

“A dragon! You have a dragon in there,” said a high-pitched voice. I blinked the sunbursts out of my vision. It was Agravaine. “Merlin,” he spit. “I should have known there was something up with you. I’ve watched you and that common Knight heading down here month after month. I was finally free to follow you.” He sneered. “The dragon’s cries sounded disgusting. I don’t know how you stood it. I’ll be taking an egg to the Prince. You will be executed soon enough.”

Agravaine picked up an egg. I stumbled to me feet and lunged for the egg. “Stop!” I shouted.

He grimaced. “You care that much?” He moved around to the other side of the cart away from me and then laughed. “I’ll take care of this for you.” He flung the egg towards the ground, smashing it.

“No!” I screamed. I cast a spell to push him away from the rest of the eggs. There was no effect. My magic felt frail.

“A sorcerer too. It’ll be the pyre then.” Agravaine grabbed another egg. “Here, catch.” He threw it up in the air at an angle from me. I leaped towards it. My magic broke through and I was able to slow down time. I just managed to grab hold before landing hard while cushioning it against my chest.

Agravaine had stolen another egg and was running through the cavern. I put the egg I’d caught back in the cart and ran after him. Despite the spots in my vision and all the aches of my body, I managed to catch up with him. Unlike him, I knew where I was going. As soon as he was in sight, I grasped the magic inside me, pulling it out and demanding it obey me. The spell I sent out at Agravaine made him as still as a statue. The only thing still moving were his eyes.

I huffed, trying to catch my breath, as I stopped in front of him. I retrieved the egg before making Agravaine fall asleep. Next, I did a spell to conceal him from any without magic. It left me dizzy. I carefully made my way back to the other eggs. I placed the recovered egg into the cart before kneeling next to the smashed egg. It was a mess. Agravaine had forced it to the ground with the pointed part facing downward. It collapsed the entire egg. There was no life. The dragon hadn’t survived.

“Washeer,” I roared with dragon tongue. Tears fell down my cheeks. It was his name and now he was gone. I set the remains on fire. I watched it burn. I tried to push away the despair that wanted to overwhelm me. The green shell pieces had turned brown by the time all of Washeer was consumed. The white pattern now shined like metal. 

The cavern felt empty. I pushed myself forward, put the pieces into the cart, and took the eggs into the Incubation Room. I placed each of the three remaining eggs on the shelf. Last, I placed the shards of Washeer’s shell. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I couldn’t let myself grieve yet. There was still more work to do.

Once I returned to Agravaine, I searched his clothes. I knew there was something on him that had prevented my magic from detecting his presence. He was wearing a charm on a chain. I nullified the spell on it and then put it back around his neck, tucking it in his shirt. Then I took time to ponder my next move.

There was a dark magic I’d studied almost against my better judgment. It allowed you to delve in another person’s mind. I would have the ability to alter his memories. I could erase all the moments related to this discovery of his. He would never remember what he’d done or the pain he caused me. More importantly, it would keep the rest of my dragons safe. Not to mention it would hide my secret.

I didn’t use this magic lightly. It would leave scars across his mind. Too many of them at worst could lead to insanity. At best it would only cause bad judgment. I never wanted to use my magic to harm in this way, but the image of Washeer’s body going up in flames was prominent in my mind. I knew what I had to do.

Paradoxically, channeling the dark magic took less energy than many other spells. I placed my hands on his temples and closed my eyes. I pushed my essence forward. As soon as I drifted into the space that was his mind, I was swallowed up by a malignant cloud. Hostile thoughts attacked me. I threw up a barrier and slowly worked my way through to his memories. There was a bleak cast to all of them.

I focused my search for his most recent memories. I tore them apart. I traveled further back. I learned that he’d convinced Sir Vensen to attack Lancelot. I hated that I had to destroy that memory, his culpability. I had no choice as it was tied to his every other thought that implicated me.

As I wiped away every suspicion he held, I discovered something that filled me with a black heat. Agravaine had been in contact with Morgana and Morgause. It was them who turned Agravaine onto me. Though Morgause was still injured, the two had managed to pull him into their games. I then noticed older scars in his mind. Morgana had done something to him. Messed with his mind in some way. If I could feel her presence, she’d be able to feel mine. I wouldn’t let that happen.

When I was finished searching his mind, I covered my tracks. To do this I had to stitch up the fragments of his mind around those moments I’d stolen and give him plausible memories. I used healing magic to limit the scars, making them near invisible. Last I drew back all traces of my own magic. This was a difficult task, but I persevered.

I was exhausted by the time I’d finished. A well of emptiness. The only thing of note was the irrational sense that my body was covered in filth. I took several deep breaths. The last memory I gave him was of him standing near his chambers. So I used energy I didn’t have to cast a spell to carry him a feet above the air as I walked back into the castle. The concealment spell on him held. It was just my usual sneaking around though I moved much slower.

Once I made sure there were no guards around, I lowered him in front of the door to his rooms. I undid the immobility and concealment spells before making him lean against the wall. I adjusted the sleeping spell so that I’d have time to leave his presence before he woke up.

Gaius’ chamber door was in front of me. My memory of the walk back was a fog. I’d used so much magic when I was already drained. I was surprised I could still walk. I slipped through the door. Gaius was asleep on his bed. Worried, I checked on Lancelot, but he was sleeping on the patient cot looking comfortable and stable. I went into my room to check on Kea. She was sleeping soundly.

I curled under my blanket. I couldn’t hold back the wave of sadness any longer. Silent sobs wracked my body. It felt like hours before my body and mind calmed. I watched the sky through my window as it slowly turned from black to a light blue.

When Kea woke up, I fed her. Gaius checked on me and gave me a draft for the pain before starting his rounds. I cradled Kea with one of the dolls, trying to get her attention. Guinevere showed up with breakfast. She helped me get food into Lancelot. He was in a bit of a daze still and spoke little. After she left, I just sat at the table while Lancelot napped.

When Gaius came back, he checked on me. “How did the birthing go?”

“Fine.” I shrugged halfheartedly. At least that wasn’t a lie. I knew I’d tell him the truth. I just couldn’t do it today.

I didn’t speak much the rest of the day. Lancelot napped for hours before we got him to eat. Gaius wanted to keep him on the patient cot for one more night. I cried myself to sleep alone but for Kea in the crib beside me.

The next day, Lancelot woke me up. “Why were you crying?” He wiped the crust from the tear streaks on my face. It only made me start crying again. “What’s wrong?” He pulled me into a hug as I sobbed into his chest.

When I finally quieted, Lancelot half-carried me to the main room despite his own limp. He steered me to sit at the table. Lancelot fed Kea and changed her while Gaius made me tea and wrapped me in a blanket even though I wasn’t cold. I sipped the tea for a bit. “What happened?” Gaius asked after sitting at the table.

Lancelot placed Kea in the cradle and sat beside me. I looked at each of them in turn before lowering my head. “One of the dragons didn’t make it,” I stuttered.

Gaius sighed. “You said there were no complications with the birth.”

“There wasn’t. It went smoothly. It happened afterwards.” I then told them what Agravaine did. How he’d followed me there and smashed the egg. How I had to rescue another two eggs from him. I explained how I stopped him. With shame, I told Gaius how I destroyed Agravaine’s memories of that night and all the other times he’d been keeping tabs on me. I even mentioned that he was working with Morgana and Morgause.

“I’ll kill him,” Lancelot said with conviction.

“It’s not like he remembers what he did,” I said quietly. “Losing those memories will have to be enough justice.”

Gaius grimaced. “If what you said about Morgana’s influence is true, then his mind is slowly being destroyed. He will become unpredictable.”

Lancelot’s eyes were still wild. I took his hand. “I am sorry about one thing. Agravaine was behind Sir Vensen’s attack against you. I took away those memories because they were linked to everything else. It would be impossible now for him to be charged for it. No chance of getting him to confess.”

“Oh, Merlin. I don’t care about that.” Lancelot pulled me to his side. “I deeply regret what you went through. I can’t imagine.” He ran his fingers through my hair and kissed the top of my head.

I had to force myself to not start crying again. “I named the dragon before I burned his remains.” I was shaking, but I needed to share this. “His name was Washeer. I couldn’t save him. I don’t know if he died right away or later while I was running after Agravaine.”

“You did what you had to,” Gaius said. “Saving the other egg was important and not least because you stopped Agravaine from exposing all of them. You were in an impossible situation, Merlin.” He got up and pulled down a vial. “If you agree, I think you should take this sleeping draft.”

“Okay.” I swallowed the potion. Lancelot hugged me and then we returned to my room and spooned on the bed. Kea was still in the cradle in the main room with Gaius. I knew Lancelot wouldn’t be able to stay long before Kea would need him. So I appreciated the time I had and let his warmth soothe me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Violence. An egg is taken and destroyed by force, killing the dragon inside.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings at the end of the chapter.

All my eggs were shining by the light of the fire in the grate. I was mesmerized by the different colors; the blues and the greens made me feel peaceful. The yellows gave me joy; the reds and oranges were life itself; and the purples and pinks were playful. The metallic ones made me feel like the richest man in the world. I was overcome by the mystical flare of the cream, black and opal eggs. Yet the brown ones were grounding. When it came to all the eggs with funky patterns, it felt like the gods had reached into my soul and let me create masterpieces with the dragons’ very lives.

I watched them for ages. Without warning, a dozen men forced their way into the room. I had never seen any of them. They were all muscular and carried varied lengths of blades, some with pickaxes. I tried to use spells to attack and defend, but nothing worked. Two men grabbed me and held on despite my kicking. 

The other ten men split up into pairs. One pair of men worked on freeing the grate that covered the fire. They then joined the other four pairs pulling eggs from the shelves. They had a system. One man dropped the egg, another hacked at it with a pickaxe. They worked together to scoop up the dragon embryo pieces and toss them into the flames.

This happened throughout the entire room. I struggled and screamed while I watched as one after another, my dragon children were murdered. All the shells were pulverized. They used their feet to sweep the dust into the flames as well. Nothing was left to show they had even existed. When it was all over, the men exited the room. They left me by the fire. I whispered a spell. My magic finally worked. It made the flames grow bigger until it consumed me whole.

I woke up heaving last night’s dinner into the bucket I’d been using for filling up my tub. I was covered in sweat. It was still dark out, but I was alone. Where was Lancelot? I stumbled to the crib. Kea was missing. Out in the main room I saw Lancelot feeding Kea. I took deep breaths as I tried to slow my heartbeat.

“You okay?” Lancelot spoke softly so as to not wake Gaius.

I shook my head. Even in the dark I could see Lancelot tensing up. “Nightmare,” I admitted. I stepped closer to Kea. Watched as she drank the milk. I carefully touched the wisps of blond hair that had started growing on her head.

“What happened in the dream?” Lancelot glanced up from Kea’s face.

I sniffled a little. “It doesn’t matter. It’s not real.”

“Merlin?” Lancelot frowned. I could barely see his face in the dark, but I knew his expressions well.

“I’ll tell you another time. I just want to forget it.” After Lancelot burped Kea, I held out my arms. Obligingly, Lancelot shifted her to me. Kea played with my neckerchief in her tiny fist as I rocked her. I’d forgotten to take it off last night. I walked back and forth in the room on bare feet. It must have been so obvious that I did this more to comfort myself.

Lancelot led me back to my room and I placed Kea in the crib. She was still wide awake. From the bed, I could see her through the wooden bars of the crib. Lancelot held me, rubbing soothing circles into my stomach. I couldn’t let myself relax. I didn’t want to fall asleep again. Not this night.

I let my thoughts wander. I analyzed every moment of Agravaine’s attack. I couldn’t figure out why my magic didn’t work. I was angry that I didn’t check to make sure it was safe before bringing the eggs from the room. That was something Lancelot had always done in the past, I realized. I just never paid attention. Washeer’s death was my mistake. 

In the morning and afternoon, I spent all my time with Kea. I watched her every movement even if she was simply napping in the cradle. When Gwaine stopped by to invite me to the tavern, I suggested Lancelot go with him instead. That evening, Guinevere ate dinner with us. I barely spoke a word to her and picked at my food.

The next day, Arthur visited after training. “How’s parenting going?” He snorted. “She have your ears already?”

I shrugged. “Yeah, I guess.”

After that, Arthur kept trying to engage me in our old banter. He got fed up with my lack of a response and left saying he had more important business to handle.

For days, I stayed up at night so I wouldn’t have a nightmare. The lack of sleep and lack of appetite was depleting my energy.

I was in the main room when I heard the door bang open. Gaius shouted in alarm and then I heard a loud crash. Within seconds, I stood outside the Birthing Chamber. Agravaine was yammering on while all I could see was the smashed egg. Panic destroyed me. I kept screaming ‘no’ over and over again. Someone grabbed my arm and pulled me backwards. I found myself pushed into sitting at the table. There were glass vials shattered on the floor by Gaius’ main work station. Guinevere kneeled in front of me calling my name. I barely could hear her over Kea crying through the door of my room. I knew Lancelot would be in there trying to calm her.

“Merlin, are you with me?” Guinevere asked.

I shook my head to clear it. “I’m fine, Gwen. Just startled is all.”

“Are you sure? Merlin, you were screaming.” Guinevere pulled my hands into hers and started rubbing them. It was then that I realized how cold I felt.

I looked over to Gaius. His expression was blank. I turned back to Guinevere. “I don’t know. I haven’t been getting much sleep lately.”

“A waking dream,” Gaius suggested.

Guinevere nodded before standing up. “I’m sorry, I almost forgot why I came. The King wants to see you, Gaius. It sounded important.”

Gaius patted my shoulder before following Guinevere out the door. 

Kea’s cries calmed after a few minutes. I hadn’t moved, just stroked my fingers aimlessly into the wood of the table. Lancelot came down the few stairs and sat across from me. He reached over and took my hand into his. “What happened, Merlin?”

I blinked several times so I could focus on his face. “The crash of the glass vials. All of a sudden, I was back in that moment with Agravaine. With Washeer’s death.”

Lancelot sighed. “Being transported to a dark memory like that is awful. It used to happen to me all the time after my family was slaughtered. It still happens on occasion. I am so sorry.”

“I don’t understand. There’s been other bad things that have happened in my life since coming to Camelot. I’ve had other nightmares. This is the first time I was stuck in a memory like that.” I ran my free hand through my hair. “Why this moment?”

He squeezed my hand. “You love him. They’re your children. It’s different from any other type of loss. I’ve never experienced that myself, but I’ve come across plenty of fathers and mothers who’ve lost a child and they were devastated.” I could see his eyes watering. “It doesn’t matter that they’re dragons. They came from you and you feel responsible for their lives. Let yourself grieve, Merlin.”

“I’m trying.”

“I know.” Lancelot let go of my hand and stood up. “I’ll clean up this mess. And then I’ll make us lunch.”

I stayed where I was and just stared at the walls while Lancelot moved around me. I still wasn’t hungry once the food was set up. I nibbled on the bread and drank the broth anyways. 

My memory of the next few days was a bit of a fog. No single moment really stood out. I did sleep more. I didn’t have a nightmare every night at least. Just sometimes. Though I always woke up with red cheeks and crusty tracks trailing from my eyes. Lancelot said I cried in my sleep.

As far as I knew, King Uther had just wanted Gaius’ company. Gaius never said much about why he’d been called to his side. I couldn’t really get myself to care one way or another. 

When Lancelot was gone on an errand, Arthur showed up. I’m not sure why he came, but I did hear Gaius making excuses to Arthur for why I was losing weight and being more despondent. I was in bed when that argument happened. Arthur wasn’t satisfied. “Why can’t you heal him already?”

“That’s not how medicine works!” Gaius shouted. 

Arthur left in a snit. I could tell because of his stomping and the slamming of the door. 

The next morning, I just had to leave the Physician’s Quarters. As I walked to the cavern below the castle, I spread my magic out. I wanted to feel everything around me, looking for any danger. This type of magic use never made my eyes glow, but it was taxing. Once I was in the Incubation Room and I stood at the entrance, I let myself take in the sight. 

I walked up to the nearest egg and reached out to touch it gently. It felt cool despite the heat of the room. Even here, I let my magic encompass everything. I could feel every life. One by one, I touched the eggs. I wanted to reassure them that they weren’t alone. That I waited for them. I sang lullabies. I told them stories of my life in Ealdor. Stories of every adventure here in Camelot I’d participated in. 

I told them my dreams and my fears. I described every bedtime story I’d ever heard to my best recollection. And when I lost my voice, I got comfortable on the blankets by the fire and just gazed at them while perfectly serene. In exhaustion, my magic pulled back to only surround my person.

I don’t know how long I stayed down there. I jumped up when I heard someone entering the room. It was Lancelot. My body started trembling. It was shocking. My reaction happened even though I knew there was nothing to fear. 

“Have you been here this whole time?” Lancelot yelled. “I’ve been searching for you. It’s past dinner time.” He tangled his hands in his hair which gave him a wild look. “Why didn’t I think to check here first? Such an idiot,” he muttered at himself. “You worried me, Merlin. I thought something might have happened to you.” He paused. “Say something!”

A warmth fueled by outrage lit inside me. “I’m allowed to be with the eggs, Lancelot. You know what they mean to me!” My shaking was getting almost violent. Had to be the anger. “Why would you come in here like that? You scared me! I was afraid the dragons were in danger. And if it hadn’t been you, I don’t know what I would have done. I can’t protect them.”

Lancelot groaned. “What do you mean you can’t protect them? You’re the most powerful person I’ve ever met.”

“I’m nothing!” My voice broke as I shouted. “My magic only works when it wants to. Not when it’s important. Not when those I love are in danger.” I fell to my knees, squeezing my stomach. I felt a terrible pain in my middle. “What if I lose all of them? I can’t stop it happening. It’s inevitable. Those I love always die. I can never save anyone.”

Lancelot kneeled down next to me. He reached out and I flinched. His hands hovered at his sides. I didn’t want him to hold me. I was falling apart, and any touch would rip away my hold on reality. “Merlin... Love. It wasn’t your fault.”

“I should have made sure it was safe before I took them out of the chamber. I did this. I failed him.” Each word came out ragged. I could barely catch my breath.

He settled himself next to me. “You couldn’t have known. You told me that he was wearing something charmed to hide himself. Had you gone out to check first, you still might not have seen him. Merlin, you did nothing wrong. You saved the other two eggs that were in danger. It’s not a consolation for the dragon you lost, but it is important. You have the power to safeguard them. You proved that.”

“Why couldn’t I save him?” I cried.

“You were in a vulnerable state. You just gave birth and he attacked you. I doubt there was anything that could have changed that outcome. I am so sorry I wasn’t here for you that night.”

I shook my head. “You were injured, poisoned. I don’t blame you.”

Lancelot smiled softly. “Then don’t blame yourself. You were not in the right state to defend all of them. You tried anyways. You are the most brilliant person I know. The most compassionate. Merlin, you have the biggest heart.” He looked around the room. “Even though I thought you were missing, you were right where you needed to be. Giving these dragons your love. You are so special.”

I tried to smile, but I couldn’t. Instead, I lunged into his arms. I let him pet my hair and rock me as I let myself sob. I let myself fall apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: PTSD - nightmare and flashback.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning available at the end of the chapter.

We had just arrived at the Physician’s Quarters when the tingling struck hard. “Gaius?” I said in a hoarse voice just as Lancelot steered me to the table.

“My boy, what is wrong?” Gaius rushed to my side.

“It’s been only a week,” I said meekly. “It hurts.”

“Help me get him up on the cot,” Gaius ordered. Lancelot lifted me. 

Lancelot hovered. “What’s going on with him, Gaius?”

Gaius palpated my abdomen before sighing “If there’s something strange going on with the eggs, they’re just too small to diagnose it.” Gaius grabbed another pain potion. “Here, drink this. Lancelot wet some cloths. He’s already feverish.”

Despite the potion, the pain was increasing. Then my body started trembling right before the cramps started. “Make it stop,” I groaned. I bit my lip. “What’s happening?”

“Your body is ramping up for the change quicker than ever before.” Gaius examined me. “It’s impossible to predict the rate. I fear it will come soon.”

“I think you need to call Kilgharrah,” Lancelot told me.

I wanted to protest as I didn’t want to take Kilgharrah from the two dragons. Lancelot gripped my hand. I pulled my eyes open to look at him. “Okay.” Then I started screaming. 

“I’ll get the cart to the clearing tonight, just in case.” Lancelot told Gaius.

Gaius took hold of one of my arms. “Alright, but first help me soothe these cramps of his.”

I blacked out. 

I opened my eyes to the beginning of a sky at dawn. I was in my dragon form, flying above the clouds. I looked behind me. “Washeer,” I roared. “Hurry up, the sun is about to rise.”

A swoosh of wind pushed me out of my path. A juvenile dragon turned to laugh at me. His green scales tipped with white made him radiant. “This isn’t my first sunrise, Father.”

I laughed as we began racing. Once I caught up to him, we began to hover in place. “I haven’t flown with you in weeks.”

“Yes, you’ve been busy teaching my siblings. Though why Kilgharrah won’t help, I can’t say. You truly are a terrible flier. I think I learned more from Litushna than you.”

I shoved into him. “I will have you help me next time. If you think your flying skills surpass mine then you should teach your siblings.”

“I’m too busy, Father.”

“Doing what?” I smacked him with my tail.

Washeer laughed as he flew higher. “Having fun.” We watched the sunrise. It truly was beautiful from this height. Today the clouds were layered. The colors that shown above us as refracted through the higher clouds was breathtaking.

I found myself blinking into the dark of my bedroom, only a couple candles lit. I was still in pain, though I could feel my eyes glowing, so my magic was helping. 

The door creaked open. Lancelot’s silhouette appeared in the doorway. “Merlin,” he breathed softly.

“What time is it?”

“Eleven in the evening.” He paused. “The day after you lost consciousness. This is the first time you’ve woken up.”

I nodded. “It’s time.” 

Lancelot dressed me. They must have taken my clothes off to fight the fever. Guinevere paced in the main room with Kea in her arms. “What’s going on, Gaius?” she asked. I had to keep my eyes lowered. I hurt too much to stop using my magic. She didn’t seem to notice the glowing.

“Merlin is in a bad way. I need to take him to a friend to heal him. We’ll try and return in a few hours.”

Guinevere lowered her voice. “Heal him with magic?” With Gaius’ nod, Guinevere sighed. “Go quickly. I will take care of Kea.”

Gaius grimly took my left arm and Lancelot my right as we headed out of the castle. Once in the clearing some forty minutes later, I called Kilgharrah to me.

Kilgharrah appeared after ten minutes, wings flapping out great gusts before he landed. “Young Warlock, you seem distressed.”

“I’m a week early. I only had one full day to prepare.” Lancelot helped me out of my clothes.

“This is sad news, indeed.” Kilgharrah studied me. “You two should step back.”

The change happened quickly. It left me dizzy. I focused my magic, but I couldn’t feel any life beyond my own. “Kilgharrah?” I couldn’t keep the tremble from my voice.

“I am sorry, Merlin. They did not fully form within you.” Kilgharrah nudged his head against mine. 

“Gaius, how many did I lose?” 

Lancelot caressed my face as Gaius went to count. When Gaius came back, he looked stricken. “Eight,” Gaius said. He tried for a professional air and I appreciated that. Lancelot gazed into one of my eyes with silent tears falling down his cheeks.

I turned to Kilgharrah. “Is there going to be a problem getting them out?”

“The magic of your dragons usually start the process each time, as you must know with the mishap that happened three months ago. I will use my own magic to propel them each forward. It’ll happen naturally after that.” Kilgharrah made sure he had my attention. “Are you ready?”

I nodded. Kilgharrah blew a purple dust over my body. The usual pain started, but I stifled any noise I could. Soft grunts escaped. Even when it got to the point to push I attempted to hold back. I wanted to honor their deaths in some way. Even if it meant the pain was worse without the relief of yelling. I did cry out in the last push though.

When Lancelot returned to tell me what the first egg looked like, he hesitated. I shook my head. I would see them all soon enough. Kilgharrah had to do the spell each time. Between each egg, I took a longer and longer break. It took every bit of courage I could find to force out another dead life. 

It felt like it went on all night. Lancelot didn’t know what to say to me. He just kept me company. After the last egg was out, I refused the magic that wanted me to change back into a human. I shuffled forward in my dragon form to look at the eggs in the cart. 

All eight eggs were the color of peaches. I realized the eggs didn’t have a chance to choose their appearance. I accessed my magic in my dragon form so I could see in each shell the unfinished embryo. My magic showed me that each of them already had a name. One at a time, I blew a yellow cloud over the eggs. When the cloud cleared, the eggs had turned to stone with a name etched in a circle across the tip. The tip of each egg had also turned into the different colors that the eggshells should have been. 

I stared at the stone eggs and their names: Bransin with a blue tip; Sheltol with a green tip; Querist with an orange tip; Pipson with a red tip; Nestor with a pink tip; Wisterk with a gold tip; Lillania with a black tip; and Aster with a purple tip. The names were all in a stylized script done in metallic silver. They were beautiful. 

I took in the sight for a bit longer before letting my body transform. The night was still. No one spoke as Lancelot helped me into my clothes. They were all waiting for me to speak. I didn’t know what to say. I wasn’t sure what caused them all to die, but I’d spent the whole week in some form of mourning over Washeer. Did I cause this?

I cleared my throat. “We should get them back to the cavern.” I looked up. “Thank you, Kilgharrah, for your assistance.”

Lancelot stepped forward to pull me into a hug, but I backed away. I couldn’t handle his comfort right now. He looked hurt. He wiped his face and started pushing the cart. 

“My sweet boy,” Gaius said as he supported me on the walk.

Before we’d taken more than a few steps, I turned back to Kilgharrah. “How are Ravick and Litushna?”

Kilgharrah bowed his head before laughing softly. “They thrive, Merlin.”

“Tell them I love them, please.” My voice shook.

“They already know. But I will remind them.” Kilgharrah leaped to the sky.

As we headed to the cave, I let the quiet of the night sweep me away as I took one step after another.

When we finally got to the Incubation Room, I placed the heavy stone eggs in the last eight spots on the bottom shelf. It was all too easy to count the remaining spaces left. I didn’t want to think on it. There was no certainty. Looking at these stone eggs, I knew that they would remain in this room always. I had no other place to put them. When it came time to hatch my dragons, these eggs would simply stay. A reminder of what I’d lost. 

I couldn’t take the emotion that stole over me. I fell to my knees. Lancelot dropped behind me and pulled me back into his chest. I let him wrap me up in his arms as I began wailing. It built from a cry into a broken roar as I spoke the name of each of the dragons I’d lost. 

I felt it as Gaius and Lancelot became alarmed, worried I might hatch the other eggs too soon. They didn’t know that each dragon born, even from just a beginning stage of life, had their own name. 

I shared with my other children news of the loss of their siblings. It seemed like a harsh thing to do. I started to regret it until a warm feeling from all sides pushed into me. Even unready to hatch, my dragons were using their own magic to give me strength. I felt all 68 of them sharing their love with me. I had never felt something so moving. It was a wonderful feeling to be so connected.

The tears still fell, but they weren’t as hot. I wasn’t alone. I roared one more name: Washeer, the loss of life that I was certain led to these others. Even more of my dragons’ love wormed its way into my heart. As I calmed, I turned in Lancelot’s embrace and gently kissed him. “Let’s go see Kea, now.” 

Gaius helped me to my feet before pulling me into a hug. “Merlin, I’m not sure what happened, but I felt the magic in the air.”

“My dragons said hello to me.” I didn’t say any more, and we left to return to the Physician’s Quarters.

The first thing I saw was Guinevere sitting at the table. “Merlin!” Guinevere shouted. Then she covered her mouth. Kea cried out from the cradle. “How are you feeling?”

“I’ll be fine, Gwen.” I moved to pick up Kea. She too was one of my dragons, even though she was so much more. I held her to my chest as I kissed her head. Lancelot stood next to me and held the back of my neck. 

Gaius started getting some tea ready. “You must need some sleep, Gwen.”

“As long as Merlin is better, Gaius.” She looked between all three of us. “Everything went to plan with the healing?”

Gaius paused in thought. “I think the latest storm has passed.” 

As Guinevere got ready to leave, I hoped Gaius was right. After she left the room, I turned to Lancelot. “I’d like some food.”

“You’re hungry?” Lancelot asked pleased.

I shook my head. “Not really. But I’m going to try and take better care of myself.”

“Okay, Merlin.” Lancelot kissed my cheek before heating up the last meal they’d shared.

Gaius came over to me. “This wasn’t your fault, Merlin.”

“We don’t know that.” I sat down on the bench with my back leaning against the table, snuggling Kea. “But it doesn’t matter in the end. It happened. I just want to do all I can so hopefully it won’t happen again.”

I ate the food Lancelot prepared even if I couldn’t really taste it. Tomorrow would be better. I would hold onto that thought no matter how many tomorrows it took for it to be true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Miscarriage of dragon eggs.


	18. Chapter 18

That morning, I gingerly got up to use the chamber pot. Lancelot wasn’t in the room, nor was Kea. I could hear talking in the main room. I dressed in my usual tunic and breeches and even took the extra effort to put on boots. My neckerchiefs were all dirty. Kea had managed to spit up on all of them. My neck felt bare as I left the room. 

As I stepped down the stairs, I saw someone unexpected. She wore a soft cream dress with yellow sleeves and a blue head wrap. I rushed forward. “Mother!” I cried as I fell into her arms, bending my back to rest my head against her chest.

“Sweetheart, it is so great to see you.” Hunith patted my head. “Gaius sent me a letter. He thought you might need me.” She pulled back to wipe the tears off my face. “He didn’t give me any details though. What’s happened?”

I looked at Lancelot who held Kea and then at Gaius. “So much.”

“Why don’t we all sit,” Gaius said. We had extra chairs now around the table, purchased last week. I took the chair at one end. Lancelot handed Kea to me before sitting on the bench. Hunith sat on the bench across from him. Gaius made sure the door was securely locked before sitting at the other end in a chair.

I looked at Hunith, who was making unsubtle glances at the babe in my arms. Kea had on a blue dress and wore little white booties on her feet. Guinevere had knitted them. “This is Kea, my daughter.” I turned her a little so Hunith could see her better.

Hunith’s eyes widened almost comically. “You have a daughter?” She smiled. “Merlin, she’s adorable. When did this happen? You never sent any letters that you’d found someone.”

I grinned. “It was sudden. Kea was born six weeks ago.”

Hunith nodded. “And the mother?”

“That’s a little complicated. Technically, I’m her mother.” Before Hunith could respond I held up a hand. “It’s a long story. Let me start at the beginning. Three years ago, I met my father, Balinor.”

“You didn’t tell me this. How is he?” She looked so hopeful.

I bit my lip. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I didn’t know how. He died protecting me only a day after I told him who I was.” I looked down at Kea to avoid seeing the grief in my mother’s eyes. “I inherited my Dragonlord powers after he died. He never got the chance to tell me all that being a Dragonlord entailed.”

Hunith wiped her eyes. “The power over dragons. He mentioned that once.”

“It’s more than that, Mother.” I sighed. “This spring, the Great Dragon Kilgharrah told me a secret. Only with less than a week to spare, actually.” I grimaced. “Dragonlords birth the eggs that dragons hatch from.” 

I laughed when I saw the same bit of shock in Hunith’s eyes that I felt when Kilgharrah told me. I rushed to continue. “I can transform into a dragon. It’s what allows me to birth the eggs. Since then, every two weeks, I have birthed multiple dragon eggs. It’s like a clutch of eggs.” I looked to Lancelot who encouraged me. “I have 68 dragon eggs beneath the castle waiting to hatch. Two dragons, I had to use my magic to hatch them early so I could save their lives. They’re with Kilgharrah in a cave far from the citadel.”

“Oh, Merlin,” Hunith gasped.

“They’re beautiful baby dragons. I only was able to see them for an hour before they had to be taken into hiding.” I breathed deep with a shaky exhale. “Also a week ago one of my dragons was murdered, the egg smashed. It’s really messed me up.” I wiped away the warmth of tears flowing down my cheeks. “And my next set of eggs didn’t make it. All eight of them died before they could be birthed.”

Hunith reached over to grip my shoulder. “I am sorry for the pain you’ve been through.” She just held onto me for several minutes. “But, Merlin? How does this explain your daughter?”

I started giggling. I couldn’t stop. Maybe it was in part release for the pain of losing my other dragons. I eventually calmed down and started to explain. “Kea is part dragon. Not like me. Not like how one day I’ll be able to control the change. She is more of a hybrid. Once she’s older, she’ll be able to transition fluidly.”

I glanced at Lancelot who started to blush. My lips twitched. “Mother, Lancelot here is Kea’s father.”

“Oh, my.” Hunith stared at Lancelot. He started fidgeting. 

Before she had a chance to begin glaring at him, I reached out to take Lancelot’s hand. “We’re in love. He’s been amazing. He’s been there for almost all the births, and has been taking care of me. I couldn’t have done any of this without him.”

Hunith turned to Gaius with raised eyebrows. Gaius chuckled. “You should see them, Hunith. They’re insufferable to be around. Absolutely nauseating.” Gaius leaned over and heavily patted Lancelot’s back. “Lancelot is a true romantic.” Lancelot started to shake his head. “Don’t deny it. You’ve been the best thing that’s happened to Merlin.”

“Alright then,” Hunith said after shaking her head to clear it. “Welcome to the family, Lancelot.”

“Thank you,” Lancelot said. I entwined my fingers with his to soothe him. 

Kea started rolling in my arms. “Oh and no one knows about the dragons. Or about Lancelot and me. I had to lie about Kea’s mother passing away in childbirth.” 

“I understand, Merlin.” She leaned closer to Kea.

“You want to hold her?”

She picked Kea up from my arms. Kea immediately took to pulling at the wrap on Hunith’s head. “I didn’t think I’d be a grandmother so soon.” A thought seemed to hit Hunith. “Balinor had dragons he birthed?”

Gaius hummed. “Balinor had three young dragons he was close to. The dragons were all slaughtered by Uther. Kilgharrah was captured partly because Balinor was hoping to get a resolution so he could get back two eggs. It’d been a fool’s errand. They’d already been destroyed. That’s when I helped Balinor escape.” Gaius sighed. “Knowing what I do now, I believe those dragons and the eggs were his own.”

“He was so broken when he came to Ealdor.” Hunith said quietly. “It makes so much sense now. It had always seemed like more than just the betrayal was haunting him.” She took a deep breath. “So then he had five dragons in total. Merlin, why do you have so many eggs?”

Lancelot laughed. My whole face turned red. Gaius was the one who answered. “We think that his magic is trying to replenish the dragon race.”

“Just you?”

I frowned. “I am the last Dragonlord. What I don’t understand is why it has to be so many all at once like this.” I watched Hunith rock Kea in her arms. A warmth filled me at the sight. I turned my attention. “Gaius, do you think the next cycle of dragons I birth will be of a similar amount?”

“I couldn’t say. I’m not sure even Kilgharrah will have that answer for you.” Gaius stood up and pulled down a book. He thumbed through a few pages. “Here. The Great Dragons were not as numerous as the other species. Over the centuries, all the dragons were hunted and the population dwindled.” He flipped through another couple pages and took a few minutes to read. He closed the book and looked back at me. “It’s this author’s belief that at one point, perhaps three centuries ago, there were over a hundred Dragonlords and a thousand Great Dragons.”

I visibly gulped. “A thousand?”

Lancelot took my clenched hand and unfurled it. “That’s insane, Gaius,” Lancelot said. “Merlin’s magic can’t possibly want to get back to those days.”

“No, you’re probably right. I just mean to say, considering that aspect of the Dragons’ history, it will be hard to say when Merlin’s magic decides there’s enough of them.”

“Here, Merlin. Hold Kea.” Hunith pushed her into my arms. “I think you need the distraction.”

Kea made bubbles with her spit as she looked up at me. The panic started to dissipate the longer I watched her. A mischievous urge overcame me so I made eye contact with Lancelot before eyeing Kea and turning back to him with raised eyebrows. Message received. His eyes widened in panic. I laughed. It might have been a juvenile way to raise the prospect of another child, but it filled me with glee. It really was the best way to distract my mind. 

Gaius and Hunith ignored me as they started getting food together. My shoulders loosened and the headache I’d been fighting vanished. The weight I’d been carrying, the grief, lifted just enough I could breathe now that my mother was here. Kea behaved delightfully. She seemed to love having the extra attention. Lancelot still acted nervous around my mother, though I wasn’t surprised. 

Later in the evening, Hunith left to the room she’d purchased at the inn. I laid Kea down in her crib. Lancelot stretched out on the bed. I turned to him with a smile before getting in bed and curling against him. “What do you think of my mother?”

Lancelot rubbed circles into my stomach. “She’s lovely. Though she can be quite intimidating.” His hand stilled. “Is she okay with you being with another man?”

“I think so. I doubt that surprised her. She caught me kissing my friend Will.” I felt as he tensed up. “Lance, that’s all it ever was. A couple stolen kisses. We liked each other, but decided our friendship wouldn’t work in that way.”

“He’s the friend that died in that raid Arthur fought with you?” Lancelot asked carefully.

I sighed. “Yes. And Will took the blame for my use of magic.”

He pulled me tighter against him. “He must have cared for you greatly.”

“He was dying.” The pain of Will’s death still hurt sometimes.

Lancelot kissed the back of my neck.“The way I heard it, he sacrificed himself to save Arthur.” He shuffled me in his arms so we were face to face. “He did that because of the faith you have in Arthur. You bring that out in people, a trust in your vision and hope for a better future.”

I blinked away the tears in my eyes. Lancelot always had a way of making me feel special. I brought my lips to his and tried to share with him how much his words moved me. “Thank you.”

The next day, Guinevere visited in the afternoon, bringing lunch. “It’s so great to see you, Hunith.” Guinevere finished setting down the tray of food and then hugged Hunith. 

I fed Kea while sat in a chair at the table. “Thank you for the food, Gwen.”

“I’m glad I brought extra.” Guinevere and Lancelot set out the plates. Lancelot grabbed an extra plate from Gaius’ set on his shelf. 

Gaius finished with his latest potion. “You always bring too much,” he said.

“Despite Merlin’s illness, I’ve noticed he’s always hungry.” She smiled at me.

I kept my head down to focus on feeding Kea because my cheeks were burning.

“He needs his energy to fight it,” Gaius said.

Hunith’s face scrunched up. We forgot to mention our cover story. I worried how she would respond once we tell her how bad I get right before a birth.

Lancelot placed a plate in front of me. “Here, let me take Kea. You should eat.” I handed Kea to him. She was done drinking, so Lancelot burped her. 

As I piled ham and cheese into a roll I’d split in half, I tried to ignore that everyone was watching me. I didn’t like attracting attention. It may be part of the role I had taken on working from the sidelines, or just my normal disposition. Even in Ealdor, I hated when the other villagers noticed me. I ate the roll quickly and started prepping the second one. “How’s everything, Gwen?” I asked before taking a bite.

Guinevere watched me eat with a wry smile. “The same. The King’s spirits are higher today. He sent me away so he could talk with Prince Arthur privately.”

“And Arthur?” I chugged down goat milk. 

“He’s still under a lot of pressure. The King’s recovery is slow. I’ve heard rumor that the Council is getting antsy and wants Prince Arthur to take the throne. I think Arthur’s handling the responsibility well considering everything.”

“Hmm.” I started on my third stuffed roll. Everyone else was eating much slower.

Lancelot placed Kea in the cradle beside the table. I could hear her babbling from my seat. Gaius had told me she was progressing quicker than a normal baby. “She’s lively today, Merlin,” Lancelot said. 

“It’s so great you’re helping out with his daughter, Lancelot.” Guinevere smiled at him. 

I had to hold back a wince at Guinevere unknowingly diminishing Lancelot’s importance to Kea. This was a secret that I feared would hurt Lancelot emotionally.

Guinevere looked to me with sympathy. “I can’t imagine, Merlin, how you’ve been handling raising a babe with your illness.” She then turned to my mother. “I’m glad you’re here, Hunith. It’s been heartbreaking watching the pain he’s been going through these past five months.”

My mother’s forehead wrinkled in concern as she studied me. She then nailed Gaius with one of her determined stares.

Gaius coughed. “I haven’t had the time yet to go into details with Hunith,” he said. “I’m doing all I can to treat Merlin. A couple more months at the most and I’m sure it’ll work itself out of his system.”

Lancelot reached over to pat my hand. “Until then, we’re all here for you.”

“Yes, thank you.” I glared at him a bit. He sounded patronizing, though I knew he didn’t mean it that way. I turned to Hunith and tried to convey with my eyes that I would explain later. It would be better if she didn’t ask any questions that might tip-off Guinevere.

I was all too happy when Guinevere finally left. A different kind of weight lifted. I hated keeping secrets. Guinevere would not let this illness of mine go. All she wanted to do was talk about it.

“Merlin? Gaius?” Hunith wanted answers. She had her arms crossed over her chest.

I groaned. I didn’t want to talk about this. If she stayed another week she’d find out herself. Frankly, I didn’t want to be reminded of what was coming.

Gaius cleared the dishes for Lancelot to take back to the kitchens later. Some of the food we let sit out to be eaten later. As Gaius moved around he talked. “The nature of the change his body goes through for the birth causes discomfort for a few days.”

I snorted. Lancelot grimaced at the same time.

“The best comparison is that he goes through five days of labor.” Gaius paused to gauge Hunith’s reaction.

“My poor child.” Hunith leapt off the bench and pulled me to her breast as she stroked my hair. This was definitely an overreaction. “And this has been going on every two weeks?” She looked to Lancelot for an answer as he was in her line of sight now.

“It’s not always as bad each time,” Lancelot admitted.

A wave of embarrassment flushed my cheeks and rolled my stomach. I hated that he had to see me being coddled. The comfort and compassion my mother offered was appreciated, but she needed to dial it back. This really wasn’t like her.

“And the birth itself?” She wouldn’t let go of me, and I couldn’t answer in my position. Breathing itself started to become an issue. 

Lancelot looked to Gaius. “It’s been rough just to witness.”

Gaius sighed. “I’ve assisted with many births in my years as a physician. The amount of pain Merlin goes through is comparable. It is simply more harrowing for how many eggs he births in a session. And how often.”

Her hold on me tightened. “And the recovery afterwards?”

“Despite the transformation making the birth happen in a separate body, his human form has residual pain. I’ve been treating that to the best of my ability.”

“Mother, it’s okay.” I gently pulled out of her embrace. “I’m fine.”

“None of this is right.” She patted my cheek tenderly. “Apparently, this isn’t even normal for someone with your abilities.”

I laughed bitterly. “I’m just unique.” I sighed. “But I am doing better. I’m coping physically.” I shrugged. “Emotionally, I’m still a mess.” I glanced at Lancelot. “But I’m holding it together.” 

“I’m staying,” Hunith stated suddenly. “I already settled things at home. If this is going to go on for another couple months, I will be here to see you through it.”

A bit of shock went through my body. “What of the harvest?”

“Merlin, I’m getting older. I didn’t participate much in the harvesting last year. I do what I can, but apparently I get in the way. They will be fine without me.” She looked past me to where Kea was making noises. “Maybe I should look to move here permanently.”

There was a knock and Gaius unlocked the door.

I smiled brightly. “Really? You’ll move here?” A giddy rush filled me making my skin tingle. I had missed her dearly. To know she’d be here to watch Kea grow up, it made me unbelievably happy.

“Yes. I’ll need to see if I can extend my stay at the inn for now.”

A throat clearing made us turn around. “Hello, Hunith.” Arthur walked up to us. “That shouldn’t be necessary. There are some guest chambers near here you can use until you find a house.”

“Oh no, I couldn’t, Sire.” Hunith rubbed her hands into her dress. I had seen her do it many times when she was flustered.

“Hunith, please.” Arthur came forward and caught her gaze. “It’s no trouble at all. I’ll have Guinevere help you settle in.” He then walked over to Gaius. “I did want to know how Merlin’s doing?”

“About the same, Sire.” Gaius looked between us. “Though he should be fine for a few days.”

I stood up. “Arthur, if you have work for me to do, that would be great.”

“I wanted to go on an overnight hunt.” Arthur seemed unsure. “Though with your daughter to consider...”

I turned to Gaius with a pleading look. 

“Merlin,” Hunith spoke up. “I can watch her.”

Arthur grinned. “Lancelot, would you come with us? I need someone to make sure Merlin doesn’t injure himself.”

Gwaine marched through the door right then. “Still on Merlin duty then, Lancelot?”

“I do not mind helping out a friend, Gwaine.” I could tell Lancelot was holding back from rolling his eyes.

“Yes, a friend.” Gwaine smirked. No other word for it. What did Gwaine know? Darn Percival. I needed to talk to Percival about spreading rumors. Even if they were true.

Arthur ignored the comment. “Tomorrow then? You won’t be carrying anything, Merlin. Just want you to do the cooking.”

“You’ve missed my food that much?” I grinned.

Gwaine laughed. “He’s missed your company, Merlin.” Gwaine patted Arthur’s back. “Everything’s too dull without you around.” Gwaine moved over to stand beside me. He loudly whispered. “Arthur’s been in quite a mood these last few months. I’ve been trying to call him names to break him out of his prattish ways, but it doesn’t work unless it comes from you.”

“Yes, Gwaine, we get it,” Arthur exclaimed. “Merlin gets away with it because he’s good at dodging what I throw at him. You, on the other hand, I just want to punch.”

Gwaine winked at me. “Like I said.”

They both left for training after that. I was excited. A real outing. The only time I had left the citadel lately was to give birth. Well and the one time that gave us Kea. I really loved Kea. But it was kind of unfair that I couldn’t take Lancelot back to that place. Ever since Kea was born, I had been too exhausted to do more than kiss him. Besides, the thought of having sex in the same room she was sleeping in, made me uncomfortable. Lancelot didn’t think it mattered. Still, I would need to find a spell to silence myself or I’d wake her up. When I mentioned this to him, he had started laughing. 

The next morning, I stood in front of my horse. I realized I hadn’t ridden a horse in months. The group consisted of Arthur, Gwaine, Elyan, Leon, Percival, Lancelot and me. It was nice to spend time with all of them again even if it was just for a hunt. 

The ride itself turned out to be torture. The freedom to be outside and traveling was great, but my body was way too tender for it to be comfortable. I had to hold in a groan every few minutes. Lancelot kept giving me sympathetic glances.

I gladly got off the horse when Arthur stopped to hunt some hares. Leon came over to my side. “First ride in months?” His curly hair looked windswept. His physical features always contrasted his strict personality.

“Yeah. I was never much of a rider anyways.” I stretched my back. 

Leon nodded. “Still, the ride looked painful. Is it from the fits you’ve been having?”

That comment made me wonder what the Knights thought was happening to me. Of course, if he was referring to the cramps I kept getting, ‘a fit’ wasn’t that far off. “My body is always aching,” I admitted.

Percival joined us. I could never not notice how very tall and buff he was. He took up space physically, which was impressive, but it was his sweet nature that made me want to spend time with him. “Lancelot told me he’s given you massages. That helps, right?”

Or not so sweet. I felt my whole face turn red as I remembered what some of those massages encompassed. “Yeah,” I squeaked. Percival guffawed. Leon gave us both a puzzled look before joining the others in the hunt. I glared at Percival. “What do you know?”

He laughed. “Lancelot and I both got a massage from this talented lady on one of our trips a year and a half ago. He mentioned how helpful that knowledge was.”

I leaned towards him. “You didn’t answer my question.”

Percival’s grin turned into a light smile. “You both seem happier. That’s all that matters to me.” He looked to where Lancelot was chatting and laughing with Elyan. “When things didn’t work out between him and Guinevere, he was withdrawn. It worried me. It was like the light in Lancelot’s eyes had died out. Yet, when he was around you, there was a bit of a spark that flickered to life. Now? His eyes shine bright because of you, Merlin.”

I had never known Percival could be so poetic. I stood there a bit gobsmacked.

Percival gripped my shoulder. “I am happy for you both. Take care of each other, you hear?”

My mouth clicked before turning into a big smile. It meant everything to have the support of a friend. “I plan to.” Percival was a great guy. Someday, I’d like to tell him more about the family I have with Lancelot.

I heard cheering up ahead. Arthur and Gwaine stepped back into view. Arthur had two hares, and Gwaine had a pheasant. “Let’s head out and find a place to make camp,” Arthur ordered. Normally, the kills would go on my horse, but Gwaine kept his pheasant, and Leon took the hares. I’d complain about being babied, but I was too pleased to not have to ride with animal corpses.

Shortly, we found a place. Elyan fed and watered the horses while Percival and Leon collected firewood. Lancelot and I each skinned a hare, while Gwaine took great pride in plucking the feathers from his catch. “This is actually nice,” I said. “Everyone pitching in instead of all of you just standing there watching me work.”

“Don’t get used to it,” Arthur said. He had managed to find the least rotten log to sit on. “Keeping busy on these hunts is part of your job.” He looked around. “Though it is good to keep the Knights active.” Arthur seemed to strain his brain in thought. “I never noticed how lazy you all had been.”

“What do you mean, Princess?” Gwaine yawned. “We do plenty.”

“It’s just none of the other Knights on patrol have a servant to aid them. I’ve coddled you all by having Merlin here.”

Elyan laughed. “It’s true the few trips we’d made before Merlin got sick had been much nicer.” Elyan was a bit more rash than his sister, but with a good heart. I always enjoyed his company so no matter how he meant that comment, it pleased me.

Leon set some bedrolls out. “None of you really had a chance to get used to it. I’ll tell you, Merlin has made some of our trips over the years more comfortable. His cooking for one. I’d also swear the bedrolls are better when he’s on the trip with us. What’s your secret, Merlin?”

I shook my head, playing off innocent the best I could. The bedrolls of course never changed. It was the ground itself. I never did it on purpose, but it was always softer than it should be when I went to sleep. That the phenomenon spread out for those near me was a surprise. Lancelot squinted at me. I would need to explain that to him later.

I enjoyed getting to cook again, also enjoyed listening to the conversation around me. When it was time to sleep, I purposely put Gwaine between Lancelot and me. I knew that if I was near Lancelot at night, I wouldn’t be able to help curling up against him in my sleep. Gwaine raised both eyebrows at me. I shrugged back at him.

Despite my magic softening the ground slightly, it was still hard to drift off. I hadn’t realized how much I’d gotten used to sleeping in Lancelot’s arms. Percival was on my other side. He watched me in sympathy as I turned over again.

“What is wrong with you?” Arthur asked. He was on watch. 

I groaned. “It’s been months since I’ve slept on the ground. I’m not used to it anymore.”

Lancelot sat up a bit to look over a snoring Gwaine. I met his eyes. I could tell he was having the same difficulty. He settled back on his side in the position he usually held me in. I relaxed on my side and imagined his arms around me. If I concentrated, I could feel him rubbing his palm into my stomach. I fell asleep that way.

The trek back to the citadel the next day was quiet. I ached from the riding and the restless sleep. By the time I’d returned to the Physician’s Quarters, I was ready for a nap. “Hello, Gaius. Where’s Kea?” Gaius glanced up in between looking through a book at the table.

“She’s in your mother’s chambers.” Gaius put down the note he was making to look at me. “How was the hunt?”

I walked over to my room to put down my bag. “It went alright. Nice to get out.” Before sitting at the table, I tried to stretch my back.

Lancelot entered the room. “I’m not sure the ground agreed with you, Merlin.” He stood behind me and massaged my shoulders. “After we eat, you should try and get more sleep.”

“I’m not tired,” I said with a huge yawn.

“Sure,” Lancelot laughed. 

“Besides, we should retrieve Kea from my Mother.”

Gaius went into the cupboard and retrieved some hard cheese, bread, and berries. “Nonsense. Hunith is perfectly capable of watching Kea. Eat up and then get some sleep.” Gaius placed the food in front of me. “Do you need another potion for the pain?”

I sighed. “Maybe later. It makes me groggy all day. I’ll see how I am after getting rest.”

The food disappeared quickly. I went into my room with Lancelot following me. “Undress,” he ordered.

I raised my eyebrows. “Something in mind?”

He laughed. “A massage to start.”

“I’m gross after being outside.” I was sweaty and I knew I smelled.

“A bath first then,” Lancelot allowed. He quickly left and returned with the small tub stored in the other room. He also brought a cup filled with some of the fresh water Guinevere had brought Gaius earlier. Lancelot stared at me expectantly.

I thought for a few minutes. There was one spell I’d yet to try. I wanted to give the wood a facsimile of life so it could grow the way I wanted it. Lancelot gasped as the tub expanded to fit both of us comfortably. Next I took the cup and whispered another spell. As I tilted the cup, a stream of water came out. It was enough to fill the tub. Then I dipped my hand in the water and focused on the temperature I wanted, just short of boiling. Lancelot came up behind me to add a few drops of scented oils. 

Turning to him, I waited. He grinned before untying my neckerchief and tossing it aside. I stole a kiss while he untied the front of my tunic. After it was removed, he had me sit on the bed so he could take off my boots. He kissed my left foot. I laughed at the tickle. He made a face at the taste. “You couldn’t wait until after we got clean?”

“I should have, you’re right.” Lancelot helped me out of my breeches. Then I undressed him. I lingered at each task, my hands trailing over his skin. “Alright, come on.” He picked me up. I squeaked. He carried me while he stepped into the tub. He then stood me in the water, manhandling me to turn around with my back to him. His hands trailed down my sides as he kissed my spine as he sat down. He then pulled me by my hips into the water. “Now why haven’t we done this before?”

Leaning my head against his shoulder, I closed my eyes and let my body relax. The heat of the water and the strength of him behind me was a heady sensation. “Because I’m going to have to figure out how to shrink the tub afterwards since we have no place to store it.”

“Good point.” Lancelot played with the water covering my arms. We stayed just sitting in the water for several minutes. The water never cooled. “Soap?”

I visualized where I stored the soap and it came floating to my hand. Lancelot took it and started washing my arms. He smoothed the soap against my skin sensually. I gave him a few moments before putting my hand over his and moving the bar of soap faster. I liked roughness against my skin when I cleaned. He nipped my ear as he scrubbed harder. When he was done with my arms, he scrubbed my chest with as much fervor, making sure to scrape his nails against my nipples on every pass. I groaned. I quickly breathed out the silencing spell for the room. 

He pushed me forward so he could scrub my back. He rinsed as he went and made light bites on my back. I moved across to the other side of the tub so he could have better access to wash my legs. He was up on his knees as he took my feet to wash. My feet were ticklish and I kept giggling. I pulled my foot out of his grasp and took the soap from him. 

I kissed him as I gently moved the soap across his arm with my left hand. My right hand followed the movement by massaging into his skin. I took great care washing his fingers. I next lathered the soap in between my hands before balancing the bar of soap on the edge of the tub. I scrubbed his chest, taking great pleasure in swirling the soap suds into his chest hair. He watched me with an amused tilt to his smile.

Lancelot made no sound as I alternated between roughly and gently scrubbing his right leg with the soap. Neither speed of movement with the soap turned him on, so I rinsed his leg and started leaving marks with my teeth. That got his attention and the muscles in his leg tensed up. I moved onto washing his foot and then sucking on his toes. He started gasping my name. As soon as he seemed really into it, I let his leg plop back into the water and picked up his other leg which I gave the same treatment.

While cleaning his back, I left a series of bites that together shaped the letter ‘M’. I had never desired to so obviously claim someone until he came into my life. I also never thought my own name could sound so good.

Washing each other’s hair was more sensual that I could have imagined. I was in bliss with his fingers scrubbing into my scalp. After I rinsed his hair, I whispered in his ear. “We’re not being very hygienic. We’ve missed an entire section in our cleaning.”

“Oh, did we?” Lancelot pursed his lips. “That won’t do.” He took the soap. “Shall I be gentle or rough?”

“Gentle for now.” I plundered his mouth in contrast to my words.

He kneeled in the tub while I stood up. He moved the soap between both hands to create a lather before reaching behind me to scrub his fingers into my globes and down my crack. He got more soap on his hands to wash my cock and balls. He was very practical in his movements.

I then watched in anticipation as he lathered a ridiculous amount of soap before taking one finger and pushing the soap suds into my hole. His other hand pulled down on my cock. 

My legs trembled. I was only able to keep myself up by pushing my weight into his shoulders. I gasped curses as he handled me.

“Do I need to wash your filthy mouth too?” Lancelot’s pupils were large as he looked up at me.

“Don’t stop.” I closed my eyes with my entire attention on the feeling of his hands. I grumbled when his hand let go of my cock to splash water to rinse me. It wasn’t fair. I opened my eyes to glare at him. Why’d he stop? I was then distracted as he added a second finger to stretch me further. With them moving in and out of me, I keened. My eyes closed once again in bliss, which is why I wasn’t ready when his mouth enveloped my cock and he started sucking.

My mind went numb as the pleasure increased. I knew I was making obscene noises, but I couldn’t hear it over the white noise. My body shook as he kept creating more sensations with his mouth and fingers. With one long draw on my cock and a third finger added, I came. My magic rushed out of me at the same time he swallowed most of my release.

Lancelot helped me to lay back in the tub. He leaned over me, licking into my mouth. I could taste myself and I loved how filthy it was. I sucked on his tongue while he jerked himself off. I wanted to help more, but all my energy was gone. He came quickly, spattering over my chest. 

We lay in the tub for sometime trying to catch our breaths. He eventually moved off me and grabbed the soap to quickly clean me off. Then he finished his own bathing. I laughed as I saw the state the room was in from my magic’s release. Our clothes had tied themselves into one huge knot. All the books in the room had stacked themselves into one large tower just waiting to fall down. And the daffodils Lancelot gave me yesterday had floated out of the vase and multiplied, covering every surface. 

He gave me a wry look before helping me to dry off. 

When we got into bed, I kissed his hand. “Raincheck on the massage?”

“Sleep,” Lancelot said. He rubbed my stomach until I could do nothing else but obey.


	19. Chapter 19

For the next two weeks, Lancelot did his best to distract me from the deep emptiness I felt from the miscarriage of those eight dragons. At least I’d started to come to terms with losing Washeer as I knew who to blame for his death. The loss of the other dragons still seemed like my fault.

My thoughts consumed me, wondering if their deaths were related to how much of my magic I used against Agravaine. They would have just started developing right then. Or perhaps the deaths were caused by the spell being so dark. It did go against my nature. Despite all those I killed to protect Arthur, I had always thought of my magic as being light. My actions I took to aid my young was tainted. I couldn’t reconcile my choices with how I used to view my magic. Losing the eggs had made me second guess everything. It made me worry I didn’t deserve the dragons. I couldn’t help thinking that they should have a father more worthy of them.

Every two days, I would spend a couple hours in the Incubation Room. I always went alone. The plan was to just say hello to the dragons growing in their eggs. But then I’d find myself standing in front of the stone eggs, wondering what could have been different if I had made better choices. Afterwards, I had to wipe away the tears that had silently covered my face and soaked into my neckerchief.

“Gaius, do you think the birthing cycle is over? It’s been more than two weeks.” I was eating some porridge that morning while Lancelot was out training with the other Knights. My mother had gone to the market for some shopping. Kea lay in the cradle beside me. I’d just finished feeding her. 

“It could be over, but this could also just be your body trying to recover from the last birth mishap.” Gaius’ eyes scanned across the page of a book in front of him at the table. He didn’t notice my flinch.

My hands shook and I set the spoon down before I made a mess. “Maybe this is better. If it’s over then I don’t have to risk it happening again.”

Gaius sighed. “I know you’re still upset over those eggs, but Merlin, you have many dragons incubating beneath the castle. You should put your focus on them instead.”

Everything in me seemed to snap. “What? You think I can just forget my dragons that died. They didn’t get a chance at life because of something I did!” I stood up and began pacing. My control slipped piece by piece. My magic could make the room explode if I let go. I glared at Gaius. “If you assisted a woman’s birth of twins and one died, what would you say? She should be happy that she has one at all!”

“Merlin.” Gaius’ eyes widened. 

“Yes, I have dragons that are still waiting to hatch.” I took a deep breath as I felt my eyes burn. “But that doesn’t mean the loss of the others isn’t killing me.” The hairs on my arms and legs stood up as sparks of my magic ran up and down the limbs. 

“Merlin, you need to calm down.”

The door suddenly opened. I turned, realizing too late that my eyes glowed. I sagged in relief when I saw my mother enter. Hunith rushed to close the door and put the basket of her purchases down on the table. “My boy, what’s the matter?”

I fell into her arms and cried. My body ached and trembled. “I’m sorry.” I kept mumbling the words over and over again.

“It’s my fault,” Gaius told her. “I said something inconsiderate. Merlin, I’m sorry.” He came up behind me and touched my back. “You have every right to grieve. Forgive me.”

I pulled myself together and turned. With my magic tucked back in, I was able to study him. Gaius looked pale and his eyes showed guilt. “It’s okay, Gaius. It just hurts.”

“I know.” Gaius moved away to make tea. It seemed to be his answer to everything.

“Let’s sit down, Merlin,” Hunith said. She led me back to the table. With the tension finally dissipating, Kea started crying. Hunith picked her up and checked that she was dry.

“Can I see her?” I took Kea into my arms and kissed her cheeks as she wailed. “I didn’t mean to upset you, Sweetie.” I reached my magic out to her mind. She didn’t know why I was so distressed. “I’m okay now, hush.” I rocked her slowly the way she liked.

As Kea calmed down, I started to feel better myself. Holding her helped to center me. Gaius placed tea on the table in front of me. I sipped it while I kept my hold on Kea. 

Hunith started putting away the herbs Gaius asked her to buy at the market. As for the plants he used to have me gather from the forest, he’d been employing a couple of the younger servants who didn’t have a single master. “Merlin, you should talk about what you’re feeling. Bottling it up doesn’t help,” Hunith said.

“I blame myself, Mother.” With my focus on Kea, I was able to keep my emotions level. “I think I did something that killed them. Maybe I used too much magic when they needed it.” I took a deep breath before disclosing the thoughts I’d tried to bury. “But I also worry that it’s because I didn’t want them. After Washeer was killed, I didn’t want to go through any more births. I wanted it to stop. What if my magic listened to that wish, and that’s why they didn’t survive?”

Hunith looked almost helpless in response to my words.

Gaius didn’t have that issue. He stormed up to me. “That’s horse shit and you know it. You would never have denied them life because of the pain you were going through.” Gaius sat at the table. “Yes, it could be that you exhausted your magic. But it could be many things. Nothing that you did was malicious and you are not at fault.”

“You loved them, Darling.” Hunith cupped my face. “You would never do anything to purposely harm any of them.”

Their words made me smile, even if it was a little shaky. Within seconds all my nerves lit up. I gasped. “Gaius!” I turned to him. “There’s more.” All of a sudden, fear clouded my mind. “What if they don’t make it?”

His eyes shined with happiness to counter my worry. “Don’t think that. Hunith, could you take Kea. We should see how this pre-birth is going.” 

Gaius had me sit on the patient’s cot. He started asking a lot of questions. I struggled to answer as my whole body burned. “Are your legs cramping?”

“No. Just my skin is hot. Like lightning rushing through me.” Gaius gave me the pain potion to drink.

“Well, it’s too early to be sure how this one will go. I want you to take it easy just in case.”

I carefully jumped down and headed to my room. It was still morning, but a nap sounded good. I laid my head on the pillow and tried to push away my dark thoughts. I wouldn’t lose these ones. I couldn’t. 

Lancelot woke me up that evening. “Guinevere brought food.” He helped me sit up. I stumbled down the stairs with my mind groggy.

“You look terrible,” Guinevere exclaimed. “Is the illness back again?”

I smiled softly. Though I tried to cover it up with a forced grimace. “It appears so.” The table was crowded as we all ate. I let their conversation wash over me. I felt drained and there was still a slight trembling to my limbs. I ate slowly. 

I only paid attention when Guinevere mentioned my name. She talked about me like I wasn’t there. “I thought Merlin was getting better, Gaius. No incidents for weeks. Did that healer not help?”

“What healer?” Hunith asked. 

Guinevere’s eyes widened. She must have realized she shouldn’t talk about magic. “Gaius took Merlin to a specialist,” she stuttered. 

Gaius nodded. “Ah yes, but it was only a temporary fix.” When Guinevere looked back at her food, Gaius winked at Hunith. Secrets were too exhausting, I decided.

A couple hours later, once Lancelot got Kea to fall asleep and then settled her in the crib, we went to bed. With Lancelot’s arms around me, I quickly fell asleep and dreamed of flying with my dragons.

The next three days were more upsetting for my mother than for me. She didn’t like seeing how sick I was. The fever was pretty bad, as were the cramps as usual. Hunith took care of Kea so Lancelot could tend to me. On the fifth day, the 28th of September, I woke hearing Percival telling Lancelot that the patrol Arthur was on yesterday should have returned already.

That night Lancelot and I went to the Birthing Chamber alone. Gaius stayed in case any of the Knights or Arthur returned injured. Anxiety made it difficult to calm my breathing. My mind whirled with possible scenarios for what they had gotten themselves into. Rationally, I knew they should be fine. Gwaine, Elyan, and Leon were with Arthur. All four of them were perfectly capable of handling themselves. It still didn’t stop me from thinking I should have been with them. Why were they out anyways? The last few months, Arthur had stayed in the citadel. He had to decide now to join a patrol?

“Merlin, you need to relax.” Lancelot helped me out of my clothes. “Focus on the birth.”

“I’m worried about them.” I got down on the straw covered ground.

“I know. But you can’t do anything for them right now.”

The change expanded my body in a blast of pain. My magic told me I only had two eggs.

Right as the first egg began to move, images of a dark forest assaulted my vision and took me away from the room. In front of me, I saw Arthur tied up against a tree. The campsite had enough light from the fire that I could see him clearly. Arthur had a gag in his mouth that smothered his yelling as he struggled to free himself. I focused my mind around the site. Gwaine, Elyan, and Leon were unconscious. Two other knights whose names I didn’t recall were awake and fighting against their bonds. 

I counted fifteen mercenaries around the campsite. I could tell they weren’t bandits as their clothes were of a richer material and their swords were well cared for. Someone must have hired them to capture Arthur. One man had a knife he tossed from hand to hand. He walked to Gwaine and dragged the knife against one leg. Gwaine woke up with a cry. Another man shoved a gag in Gwaine’s mouth to stifle the scream.

I watched in anger as all the knights were woken up with slashes. They cut Leon’s arm. They sliced Elyan’s chest twice. Arthur continued to yell around his gag. A particularly ugly man came to Arthur’s side. Arthur kicked at him, but the man jumped back. With a laugh, he threw a knife right between Arthur’s legs. It just managed to not meet its mark. Arthur stilled. 

“Push, Merlin. Push!” I heard Lancelot yelling, but it felt like a long distance away.

I didn’t want to leave this scene. I had to protect them. Yet I had to take care of my dragons too. I instinctively threw my magic out to grip onto the vision while I let my mind travel back to my body to focus on the pressure assaulting my dragon form. 

I screamed as I bore down. When the egg left me, I fell back into the vision. The mercenaries ran around even those not on guard, all jumpy. “What was that?” a man shouted.

They’d heard me. I had a presence here. I roared. I blew out the flame at the same time I spelled all of the ropes around the Knights to unravel. Even in the dark my dragon vision let me watch as the Knights jumped up and fought the mercenaries. With a blast I knocked down a man that was coming up behind Arthur. 

Soon all the mercenaries were either unconscious or dead. Gwaine tried to relight the fire so I helped him. The other Knights tied up the mercenaries. It was over.

I let go of the vision, falling back into my body. “They’re coming home,” I panted. 

“What?” Lancelot shouted. “Merlin, you need to push, last one.”

It hurt, but I barely noticed I was yelling. I was so overwhelmed with relief. My friends were safe.

After I changed back into my human form, I sat in place for several minutes. “Lance, they’re safe.” 

He wrapped a blanket around me. “Yes, the eggs are fine.” He rubbed my arms to try and warm them.

“No, Arthur and the other Knights. I was there. They’d been captured, but I freed them. They should be back tomorrow. I don’t think they had traveled far.”

Lancelot stared at me. It took him at least two minutes to get his words together. “You used magic to save them, from a distance, while giving birth?” I nodded. “Merlin, you amaze me.” He kissed me. I lost myself in it.

Soon he helped me dress. I walked over to the two eggs. One egg was red with a weird blue shape on its front that reminded me of a shield. The second was blue with a red shape similar to a sword on it. “Lance, these dragons are warriors, aren’t they?”

He laughed. “You see it too?” He held me against him. “How did that happen?”

“I think they helped me. They knew I needed to fight for Arthur and the Knights.” I touched both eggs with reverence.

Lancelot held me tighter. “They truly are your dragons.”

I wanted to return to tell Gaius he could relax, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to get back into the castle right now. So after I placed the two eggs on the shelves in the Incubation Room, I relaxed into the blankets. I let the heat from the fire grate and Lancelot’s body beside me calm the aches from the birth. “My fighters,” I whispered as sleep claimed me.

Some hours later, Lancelot woke me. He handed me one of the sandwiches he’d brought down here. I ate with gusto. I was always so hungry afterwards. Well, when it went right. I ate two apples next. Then I walked around the room looking at all the eggs before deciding we should return to the castle.

It was early dawn as we made it to the Physician’s Quarters. Hunith sat feeding Kea. Gaius was asleep on his cot. “He wasn’t up all night worried about Arthur, was he?”

Hunith shook his head. “I made sure he slept.”

“Good. Arthur’s fine. I expect they’ll be here later this evening.” I sat at the table.

Lancelot shut the door as he walked in. “Merlin rescued them with his magic, mid birth.” At her shocked look, he laughed. “Nothing stops Merlin from his destiny of saving Arthur.”

“Stop it,” I said. Though I couldn’t help the grin that split my face.

Gaius shuffled out of bed. “You did what now, Merlin?”

The rest of that morning I had to explain how my magic let me see Arthur and the Knights in need. What shocked Gaius most was the design on the eggs. My mother got Kea settled and left to get breakfast.

It wasn’t until late at night that the patrol returned. Only two of the mercenaries survived their injuries and were now in the dungeons. Arthur had finished an impromptu council meeting before visiting the Physician’s Quarters to see to some minor injuries he had. It was procedure that he had any injuries checked over by Gaius. Too many of these mercenaries used potions on their weapons that could cause damage over time. Gaius cleaned the wounds and poured a potion over each one to test for foreign substances.

“It was magic, Gaius.” Arthur tapped his fingers against his leg as he sat. “All our bindings came undone at the same time. Someone was there who saved us. Sadly, we couldn’t find anyone afterwards.” He shook his head. “I don’t know why a sorcerer would help us.”

“Or something,” said Gwaine. Gwaine was the only Knight still in the room. The others had already left after being tended to. Hunith was bandaging Gwaine’s leg wound that Gaius had already stitched up. “You heard that roar. Some magical creature aided us.”

“I’d never heard anything like it.” Arthur considered Gwaine’s point for a moment before dismissing it. “But it sounded like it was in pain. It couldn’t possibly help us in that condition. I strongly doubt the two incidents were connected. Well, perhaps a sorcerer had been fighting a creature before he or she decided to help us.”

As I fed Kea, I fought a blush. They continued debating how they were saved. Lancelot gave me a knowing look as he helped clean up.

That night I crashed from exhaustion. The next day I had to just power through. I read through my magic book when I was alone in my room. Lancelot was busy with training most of the day to make up for the days he’d spent at my bedside tending to me. Gaius visited various patients and Hunith babysitted Kea. Studying magic was the only thing that kept me awake. 

Late that night once Kea was asleep, Lancelot and I lay in bed curled together with my back to his chest. “How are you feeling, Merlin?” He rubbed circles into my stomach. 

“Achy. But honestly, I’m getting used to it. I’ve forgotten what it feels like to not be in pain.” When Lancelot tensed, I threaded my fingers through his other hand. “It’s fine, Lance. I’m okay.”

Lancelot squeezed my hand. “Are Gaius’ potions not working?”

“They still help some. They were never a hundred percent effective anyways.”

He kissed my shoulder. “I hate that you’re always hurting, Merlin.”

“Well not always,” I said with a teasing lilt to my words. I looked over at Kea asleep in her crib. “I’ve been working on a new spell today.”

“I thought you weren’t supposed to be using your magic needlessly.”

I pushed my bottom half into him. “This spell fulfills an important need.”

Lancelot pulled me tighter to him. “Oh?”

“It can take away our voices for a couple hours.” I raised his left hand up to my face and started to suck on one of his fingers.

“A couple, you say?” His right hand that had been rubbing my stomach stilled and moved lower. “Never know when you might need this spell. You should put in some practice.”

I first whispered a spell to lock the door. Then I turned around to face Lancelot. I spoke a series of words. As soon as I finished, my magic released in a shiver that slid down our throats. Lancelot’s eyes widened. Then he reached down between us to grip my cock. I felt my body tense up suddenly. The feeling of a moan shuddered up my throat, but no sound came out.

That was all we needed to immediately start shedding clothes. Naked, I settled on my back with Lancelot on top. He licked down my chest before attacking my right nipple. He bit it and then laved at it. It all felt more sensitive. Not being able to make a sound to counter the sensation made it stronger. He seemed to notice and took advantage. He kissed and bit me all over. He raked his fingernails down my side. I started giggling only that too was silent. His nails then dug in, raising a bit of blood to the surface, and that bit of pain overwhelmed me. A sweet torture. 

When finally his mouth stopped ignoring my cock, I had to fight to not thrash off the bed. I was in my own world of bliss so that I didn’t know what else Lancelot had planned. Suddenly, he sat up with his hips over mine, and his hand guided my cock inside him. Somehow I missed it when he slicked himself. I had to fight to not buck into him. I started mouthing his name over and over. 

He sat with me sheathed in him for a few minutes as he tried to adjust. I gripped his arms and petted them, trying to soothe him. When he was ready, he lifted himself and then dropped back down. The whining noises I wanted to make would have woken our daughter for sure. 

I couldn’t get over how quiet the room was as he rode me. It made everything so intense. Lancelot bent down and captured my gaping mouth with his own, licking into it. When the pleasure built up, I could tell my magic wanted to play and I had to direct it or cause damage to the room.

I felt my eyes flash golden seconds before the orgasm hit me. My magic flowed in between us cresting the pleasure back and forth, magnifying it. As soon as my orgasm stopped I was swamped with feeling Lancelot’s pleasure when he came and then my own again. It went on and on, the pleasure ramping up. I was trying to scream, but all I could do was shudder. Finally the magic burst, leaving us both wrecked. 

Lancelot was barely conscious. I rubbed his back. I felt a stickiness. There was blood on my fingers. I must have scratched him in that never-ending orgasm. The rest of me was sticky too. As I carefully pulled out of him, I realized the spell must have made the both of us come more than usual. 

I got off the bed to grab a towel to clean us up. Kea was still sleeping soundly. Lancelot seemed more alert, but we still couldn’t talk. He pulled me into his arms and I fell asleep listening to his heartbeat.

When I woke up hours later, the first thing I did was test my voice. “Lance?” 

The door to my room opened. “Merlin.” Lancelot held Kea in his arms. It looked like he’d just fed her. He put her down in the crib. She was clearly not tired and started rolling around with the blanket, giggling.

Lancelot leaned over me to give me a kiss. “Got our voices back, that’s good,” I said.

“You certainly find interesting uses for your magic.” He sat on the bed. “What was that last spell you cast while we were otherwise engaged?”

I laughed. “It makes what someone is feeling rebound back and forth between the two people. It’s supposed to help share emotions in a time of confusion. I may have tweaked it.” I watched as Lancelot’s eyes widened in disbelief.

“You took a spell about sharing feelings and turned it into something to heighten our sex life?” He leaned forward as if to kiss me, before moving to whisper in my ear. “Warn me next time. I’ve never had such a long orgasm. And I still have your cum dripping out of me.” His words sent a thrill through me. 

If Kea wasn’t awake and being so cute, I’d jump him right now. Lancelot left the room chuckling. I got dressed soon after. “Your father is a jerk,” I told her. “You better take after me.”


	20. Chapter 20

The next ten days went by in a breeze. I felt more relaxed than I had in months. Hunith took care of Kea for several hours each day. She said I needed more normalcy. I’d never been more grateful for my mother. I was able to convince Arthur to let me take on a few chores. In the early morning, I’d feed Kea then leave her with Lancelot. Next I would deliver Arthur’s breakfast and ready him for the day. Gaius would do his morning rounds while I was taking Arthur’s laundry down to be cleaned. A couple hours later, I’d fit Arthur into his armor for training practice. Hunith would then arrive at the Physician’s Quarters to take over the care of Kea so Lancelot could join the other Knights.

Each day it was nice to sit back and watch the Knights beat up on each other with swords. Thankfully, Arthur stopped casting me worried looks between bouts. Though I definitely noticed that every day George lingered on the periphery. He wasn’t quite sly enough for me to not notice when he spied on my hydration habits. But at least he wasn’t in my face about it anymore. 

With day eleven there was a slight hiccup. During training, Gwaine and Lancelot sparred. After Gwaine knocked Lancelot down in a simple move, Lancelot struggled to get back up. “Lance!” I shouted as I rushed to his side. “What’s wrong?” He looked so pale. I laid my hand on the back of his neck. Though his skin was warm, as expected from his exertion, the sweat was quite cold.

“I’m fine,” Lancelot mumbled. His eyes weren’t focused when he looked at me.

I placed the back of my hand to his forehead. “You definitely have a fever.” I gestured at Gwaine. He came to kneel by me. “Gwaine, could you pick him up? We need to get him to Gaius. I think he’s sick.”

“I can walk,” Lancelot protested. But then his eyes rolled back as he passed out.

Gwaine sighed. “I’ve got him.” To look at Gwaine, you wouldn’t think he was very strong. So it was a bit impressive to watch as he lifted Lancelot’s limp body, in armor no less, and headed back into the castle. 

I turned with pleading eyes to Arthur. Arthur lifted his chin in the direction Gwaine went. I quickly followed Gwaine’s retreating back.

I wanted to move fast as I worried for Lancelot, but in that moment I felt my whole body light up and start cramping. I groaned. Not now. It made the trip up the stairs take longer. Once I got up to the Physician’s Quarters, Gaius was already examining Lancelot.

Lancelot was laid out on the cot. Gwaine stiffly stood back by the door. I looked around, but couldn’t see Hunith. Then I remembered that she’d planned to take Kea with her to the market today.

I sat at the table exhausted. “What’s wrong with him?” I asked. Gaius didn’t hear me, but Gwaine came over to sit beside me. 

“Not sure yet, Merlin. I’m sure Gaius will figure it out.” Gwaine reached out to pat my back and then took a closer look at me. “Now, what’s wrong with you?”

I sighed and shook my head.

“It’s back again?” Gwaine asked. At my nod, he cursed. “This illness of yours is the worst. You’d really seemed to be getting better.” 

I looked at Gwaine, studying him. It had been so hard hiding my magic, hiding everything I’ve been going through. Every time Guinevere visited and I had to keep lying, it hurt. But I knew I couldn’t tell her because she and Arthur were a team. They weren’t married yet, but one day they would be. So I didn’t want to tell her the truth until I was ready to tell Arthur. Gwaine was a different case. 

So I finally made a decision. I would tell him about my magic first. Depending on how he responded, I would share that I was a Dragonlord. I wanted to trust him with my secret. Yet I needed to be certain before risking my dragon children.

“Gwaine, after we find out what’s happening with Lancelot, can we go for a walk together?”

Gwaine raised his eyebrows at me, probably because of my serious tone. “Sure, Mate.”

We continued to sit in silence. I tried to block out my worries for Lancelot. I didn’t want it to consume me. Besides, it wouldn’t do any good to put negative thoughts out into the world. Still, both of my legs jumped up and down and my right eye twitched. And despite my attempts to quit, I constantly tapped the fingers of my left hand against the table. I also had to bite back groans as my nerves twinged throughout my body in odd rhythms.

Gaius sighed as he started rummaging through the potions on the shelves. “It’s the flu. His fever isn’t that high. I imagine he just needs more fluids in him, though he’ll probably feel quite congested. He should wake up shortly. I’d like to keep him here for a day to see how bad his symptoms get.” Gaius then looked at me. “Merlin, I think your mother should keep Kea in her chambers for now. Though Lancelot will most likely spend his time recovering in his own chambers, the flu will spread and more people may come down with it. We need to keep Kea isolated for her safety.”

Great. “Okay, Gaius. Gwaine, can you help me move her crib?”

“We’re lucky your mother’s new chambers are so close by,” Gwaine said. He went up to my room and picked up the crib on his own. I grabbed a few other items including the current supply of goat milk, her clothes, and the cloths to change her with. Then I followed Gwaine.

I had an extra key so I was able to let us in. We set the crib up and stacked everything else on the table. Then we left to go find Hunith at the market. Simply walking tired me. Though it was October, there was a slight heat wave and this afternoon the sun had come out and shone brightly. I was sweating a lot by the time we found Hunith. She stood by a vendor, looking through the fabrics. “Mother,” I greeted. I picked up Kea. 

“Merlin, Sir Gwaine. What’s wrong?” she asked. I cooed at Kea

The vendor spoke up. “Here you are.” The man handed Hunith some cut fabric in a bright yellow. 

“Thank you.” Hunith paid for it and placed it in her basket, then turned back to me. “Well?”

I frowned and started walking back towards the castle. The other two followed me. “Lancelot has the flu. Gaius is worried there will be more patients as it spreads. He wants Kea to stay with you.”

Hunith got into step with me. She lowered her voice. “Can she get sick?”

I glanced back at Gwaine who’d fallen back a few steps. “Better to be safe.”

“Of course. I will gladly take care of her.” Hunith ran her hands through the yellow fabric. “It’s for a dress that I want to make for Kea.”

I grinned. “She’ll look lovely in it.” I stared into Kea’s eyes. Over the last couple of days the color of her eyes had changed slightly. The blue morphed into a light violet. It was subtle enough that she still looked human. Her hair had grown into light blond curls. I suspected that the color meant to stay that way. Her hair and eyes now matched her scales in dragon form. I couldn’t believe how beautiful she was. “A stunning dress for my stunning little lady,” I declared. Kea giggled as I spun her in the air.

After Kea had settled down in Hunith’s room, Gwaine and I left for our walk. I had a destination in mind. I found an unused chamber. After Gwaine entered, I locked the door. With my back to him, I created a sound barrier so no one would hear us.

“You seem serious, Merlin.” Gwaine sat down on the bed. “The sky isn’t falling down, is it?”

I laughed nervously. I’d never told someone about my magic before. They always just found out. I paced as I readied myself to explain. “I have this secret,” I finally stuttered out. 

Gwaine leaned forward. “I’m all ears.” I turned my back to him and took a deep breath. I was also trying to decide what spell I could show him. Gwaine coughed. “But if this is about you having magic, I already know.”

I whipped back to him so fast that I stumbled on my feet and fell. I slammed onto my knees and the elbow of my left arm. “Ow,” I groaned.

“Merlin!” Gwaine rushed to my side. He helped me to my feet. “I guess I should have waited until you sat down.”

I ignored those words and just stared at him. “When? How?”

He helped me to the table and chairs in the corner of the room. “Hmm, since we met I had my suspicions. That bar fight. I thought I saw some strange things happening with a plate. Though in the moment I was pretty sure it was just because I was drunk.” He looked away for a second. I could only blink at him. “Much later with that dwarf talking about strength and magic was a big clue. I started watching you more. Your eyes would glow and then strange things happened. Seemed pretty obvious to me.”

“But you never said anything. Why?” The hairs on my arms were standing straight up and a slight shiver ran down my back. 

“Figured you’d tell me eventually. Merlin, you’re not like Morgana or anyone that has attacked us. I can see that easily.” Gwaine looked out the window. “I know they have their reasons even if they do hurt us. My guess is you have similar reasons for not telling me.” He sighed. “You’re a good guy. I wanted to wait until you were ready to trust me.”

A calm loosened my shoulders and I took a deep breath. “I do trust you. I just struggle with sharing this part of me.”

“I understand, Merlin.” He squinted at me. “Something else must be going on if you’ve decided now of all times to tell me. What’s changed?”

Perhaps I could fully trust in him. I took another deep breath. Now or never. “I’m not ill.”

Gwaine coughed. “You’re not? Then, what? Have you been cursed?” I watched his muscles tense up. He moved to the edge of the seat as if readying himself to storm out and kill whoever cursed me.

I laughed. “It’s not a curse.” I patted his knee until he sat back in the chair. “It’s a strange reason.”

“Stranger than you having magic?”

“Definitely. I’m a Dragonlord.”

Gwaine snorted. “Explains those Wyverns. They are related to dragons, right?” He paused waiting for more of an explanation. “Merlin, I’m a still a bit clueless here.” 

“It’s a secret about Dragonlords. It’s not in any books. The Great Dragon eggs, they come from the Dragonlords.” I watched him as those words sunk in. Didn’t sink in very far though.

Gwaine smirked. “What does that mean? You do some spell and dragon eggs appear?”

I huffed. “I wish.” I put my elbows onto the table and held my head. “That would be so much easier, wouldn’t it?” I had been doing this for six months. This may even turn out to be the last time. Each time I had to psych myself up for it. 

“Merlin. What does it mean?” Gwaine gripped my shoulder to get my attention. 

I lifted my head to turn to him. “For six months, about every two weeks, I’ve been turning into a dragon. I birth dragon eggs.”

Gwaine’s eyes widened in shock.

I took a deep breath. “Eggs, plural. Almost each time. The first time I birthed twelve eggs in one sitting. The second time was fifteen eggs. That time was the most.” I closed my eyes in remembrance. I never wrote the information down, but I remembered each session. I couldn’t forget. “The third time I had ten eggs. Then seven. The one after that, I had nine.” I cringed. “Only, two of the eggs cracked when they were birthed. I had to use magic to age them so they could hatch. All the other eggs are still incubating.”

Gwaine continued to look at me with his mouth partially open. I only glanced back at him for a moment before continuing on. “Where was I? The sixth birth I had six eggs. The seventh birth were three eggs. The eighth birth got a bit interesting.” I paused.

Gwaine snapped his mouth shut. “This all sounds insane to me, but please tell me what made this birth interesting?”

I blushed. My whole face went red, including my ears. The heat also traveled down my neck. “Um.” I nibbled my lip. “I really should have asked him first,” I mumbled.

“Asked who?” Gwaine’s entire attention was focused on me. I wasn’t used to that from him.

“Lancelot and I are in a relationship.”

Gwaine rolled his eyes. “Okay. I knew that. Pretty obvious, Merlin. Percival says Lancelot never sleeps in their quarters anymore.”

“Well, we didn’t know what it meant for us being intimate during this time. I birthed one egg that was a hybrid. Part dragon, part human. She chose to grow up strictly human.” I swallowed. “Kea is Lancelot’s daughter. I birthed her.”

Gwaine’s jaw dropped. Then he stood up and whooped. I blinked quickly at his exuberance. “Congratulations.” Gwaine laughed. “I mean, I already congratulated you, but I thought the mother had died, so I was mostly just sad for you having to raise your child on your own.” He laughed with delight again. “I’m so happy for you, Merlin! And when I can talk to Lancelot in private, I’ll give him my congrats too.”

Gwaine pulled me up out of the chair and gave me a big hug that lifted me a couple inches. I held onto him for a minute. “Thanks, Gwaine.”

Gwaine put me down. “So who’s Freya?”

“Oh. She was a friend I was infatuated with. She died before anything could come of it.” My vision blurred as I thought about her. “There’s a long story about her, but she’s now the Lady of the Lake of Avalon, and sometimes I’m in contact with her.”

“Okay.” Gwaine seemed to digest that. “So Merlin, Kea was born in July, right?”

“Yes. Okay.” I continued on with the births. “The ninth birth was five eggs. Then the tenth birth was four eggs.” My throat seized up and tears ran down my face.

“Merlin?” Gwaine gripped my hand. “You don’t have to continue.”

“No, I want to tell you. Agravaine found me. He smashed one of the eggs, killing the dragon.”

Gwaine squeezed my hand harshly. He jumped up with a growl.

“Gwaine, wait. I stole his memories of that night. He doesn’t even remember. Please sit down.” Gwaine dropped into the chair still quite tense. I needed to just move on. “The eleventh birth was eight eggs, only it was a miscarriage. None of them finished growing in me.” I wiped the tears on my face. Gwaine reached over and hugged me. I let myself cry into his shirt for a few minutes before pulling back. I hated crying.

“And then the last birth was two eggs.” I smiled. “I had those two while you were all captured. I was able to use my magic to help free you.”

Gwaine stilled. “That roar was you?” He looked me up and down. “That sounded painful.”

I laughed bitterly. “You have no idea how much it hurts.”

“Merlin, come here.” Gwaine pulled me into yet another hug. He rubbed my back. “Lancelot’s been with you. He’s been helping, hasn’t he?”

“Yeah, from the beginning. Him and Gaius.” I bit my lip. “Now that he’s sick he won’t be able to help. And if Gaius gets more patients...”

Gwaine tensed up. He pulled back. “You want me to help?” I could tell his offer was sincere, but that he wasn’t sure he wanted to be there.

“I hope you don’t have to be in the room with me. I was actually wondering if you could watch Kea so my Mother could be there for the birth.”

Gwaine blew out a breath. “I would have babysitted no matter what. So why did you need to tell me all of this.”

“I just wanted my friend to know what I’ve been going through.” I had to wipe more tears from my eyes.

“Always, Merlin. I’ll be there for you however you need. That’s what friends are for.” Gwaine grinned. “I’m assuming the Princess doesn’t know?”

“Argh, no, of course not. I can’t tell Arthur.”

“Why?”

I stood up. “I just don’t know how he’ll react. I’m scared of losing him.”

“You weren’t scared of losing me?” Gwaine asked.

“I was, actually.”

Gwaine grinned. “And yet you trust me more.” 

I shoved him. “I’ll tell Arthur, I will. I just need to work up the nerve. He doesn’t really like dragons. You weren’t here when the Great Dragon attacked and killed so many. I’m not sure how he’d respond to a whole room of them ready to hatch.”

“Okay, Merlin. When you’re ready. Though, can I watch you tell him?”

“Will you protect me if he goes ballistic?”

“Yeah sure.” Gwaine linked our arms. “But I want to watch when his mouth drops open when he’s told about you going through giving birth over and over again.”

“Oh god, the jokes he’d make.”

“Exactly.”

I left the room feeling lighter. A new birthing session was just days away, but I had one more friend I could trust in.


	21. Chapter 21

Gaius’ prediction was right. A lot of people contracted the flu. Though many showed up at the Physician’s Quarters at first, most just stayed in bed. The nobles sent servants to request Gaius attend to them in their own quarters. The lower town had a physician that consulted with Gaius. Gaius supplied the medicine. 

Theoretically, the spread of the disease should be deadly and cause quite a panic throughout the citadel. When it came upon us two years ago, many did die. It was horrible. The months following, I’d spent all my free time in the forbidden section of the library researching magical solutions. Thankfully, there was one plant that could help the body heal and prevent the deadly pneumonia. 

This plant just needed a spell cast on it before it was added to the rest of the potion. The plant could also be stored for over a year. Even the spell could be cast up to a year in advance. The plant itself rested in the Valley of the Fallen Kings not far from the Crystal Cave. So not easy to get. Thankfully, I’d collected plenty of it last year and had already spelled them. Since the flu never arrived last year, we had plenty of supplies. Which was great, as I couldn’t help in my current condition.

Guinevere did her best to help Gaius with the patients. She didn’t have much time to visit with me anymore. Which was fine. All I was able to do was lie in bed miserable anyways. Hunith cared for Kea most of the time, though sometimes Gwaine babysat so Hunith could check on me.

Arthur, now, was in quite a state. He wasn’t sick, but he was on a bit of a pompous rampage. At this moment, I was groaning in my bed while Hunith put cold cloths on my forehead. Despite the door being shut, I could hear Arthur arguing with Gaius.

“Gaius, tell me the truth. Does he have the flu?”

“Sire, Merlin still has the same illness he’s had for months.”

“How can you tell? He clearly has a fever like everyone else.” Arthur groaned. “What if he has the flu on top of that illness. He could be getting worse. What if he can’t handle both illnesses?”

“Arthur, he’s fine.” I could easily imagine the face Gaius would be making. 

“He’s clearly not fine!” Arthur shouted. “I should have sent for another physician. Spoken with our allies. Maybe the one at Nemeth could have found a cure for Merlin.”

“Your Majesty, I know what I’m doing,” Gaius bit out. Gaius’ emphasis when addressing him was probably to remind Arthur that as Prince Regent he was caring a little too much about a servant. I didn’t mind.

Arthur scoffed. 

I heard the door slam. I squinted up at my mother. She gave me a disapproving look. Maybe I should have told Arthur the truth. This whole time, he’d been so worried. My legs and arms started cramping. As the cramps moved to my abdomen, I stopped caring about Arthur’s feelings as I tried to not scream. 

“Relax, Merlin. Deep breaths. Just ride it out.”

“Right,” I gritted my teeth. “You ready for tomorrow?” I asked her to distract myself. 

Hunith nodded as she gently wiped the sweat off my face. “Gaius has prepared me. We’ll get through it together.”

“Thank you, Mother.”

“Rest.” Hunith wet the cloth again before placing it on my forehead. I closed my eyes and let myself drift.

It was the fourteenth of October when I led my mother to the Birthing Chamber. Once we arrived, I hesitated before taking off my clothes. The torches made the room bright and Hunith had yet to see the scars I’d gained since coming to Camelot. There wasn’t time to stall though as it’d taken longer than usual to get down here. It had been difficult this night to escape through the halls because of all those who were sick. You’d think it would be more empty, but the healthy servants were quite busy with extra chores on top of tending to the nobles.

I undressed. I heard her gasp when she saw my back. “You should step back to the edge, Mother.” I lay down on my side. I felt the rush as my magic converged and then exploded, tearing me apart as I expanded into my dragon form. 

“Oh, Merlin,” Hunith said. She came over to where I rested my head on the ground. 

“Hi, Mother.” I leaned my head into her hands as she petted my face. 

“You’re even more handsome as a dragon.” She kissed the scales beneath my left eye. “The red is quite becoming.” My chest warmed with a rush of love. My mother wasn’t scared of me like this. 

She then walked over to pull the cart and blankets closer. Before he’d gotten sick, Lancelot had brought down clean blankets. All week I had tried to not think too hard about how messy giving birth always was. Now being in this room with my mother having to assist me, the embarrassment served as its own distraction.

Hunith asked me to raise my wing. “I see seven eggs, Merlin. Is that right?”

I connected with my magic, letting it explore my form. “Yes, I feel seven lives.” 

As I waited my mind was swamped with panic. I wasn’t ready for this. I so badly wanted Lancelot here with me. He’d always calmed me.

Fifteen minutes passed before I was able to calm myself. It was strange. I felt nothing physically changing. Hunith came back to stand by my head. “What’s wrong?”

My vision wavered as I had to fight a new wave of panic. I knew the dragons were alive. I could feel them and they felt healthy, their life signatures were so strong. This was nothing like with the miscarriage. I took deep breaths. “I’m going to use my magic to check what’s going on.” 

My mother rubbed my face as I searched inward. The more I focused, the clearer it became that nothing was wrong. Not with the eggs or my dragon body. I had to move beyond my body and focus on the magic itself. The best way to describe what I found was my body had been put on pause, waiting for permission to continue. 

“I did it,” I breathed out. 

“Merlin?” She patted my face to get my attention. Her eyes were pinched.

“It was me. I was so focused on thinking how I didn’t want to do this without Lancelot. I must have unconsciously used my magic to put a stop to the birth.” 

“Can you fix it?” Hunith raised her eyebrows.

I nodded. I focused my magic on letting go. I immediately felt the odd and painful sensation of the egg pushing down the oviduct. I groaned. “Process resumed.”

“I’m here for you, Merlin.” Hunith kissed my face and then got into position. 

I tried to keep back some of the pained noises I wanted to make. I knew I wouldn’t be able to manage for long, but I had always wanted to be stronger for my mother. I definitely yelled when the egg pushed into the cloaca.

“You’re fine, Darling. Time to push,” Hunith shouted.

I roared as I pushed. A blast of flame blew out of my mouth. I could hear my mother scream in surprise. Dammit. Kilgharrah said I didn’t have to worry about fire. I told my magic to shut down any fire breathing. Thankfully, the magic listened. Sometimes intent was all I needed for it to behave the way I wanted it to. I went back to pushing.

The egg left me with one last push and I felt sudden relief. I forced myself to control my breathing. I only had a couple minutes before the next egg started. It went about the same, just with no fire breathing.

Hunith tried to comfort me between each egg. The pain was overwhelming.

By the time the seventh egg left me, I was ready to pass out. The magic screamed at me while I held the change back. I just needed to catch my breath. Eventually, I had to let go and agony swamped my senses as I turned human again.

I might have blacked out for a moment or two. I blinked to awareness when Hunith began wrapping me up in a blanket. “Just rest, son.” I wanted to see the eggs, but all I could do was hold the blanket closer as I struggled into a sitting position. 

Hunith sat beside me. “And I thought birthing you was bad.” 

I looked at her sideways. “How bad was it for you?”

“The labor was thirty-six hours. Anna, Will’s mother, stayed with me through it all. But the actual birthing was quick, horrible, but quick.” She pulled me into her arms like she used to do when I was younger. I leaned my weight into her. “You went through seven births just now. And so more in the past. How long has it been again?”

“Six months.”

“My son, you are stronger than I ever knew.” Hunith laughed. “When I heard you were a boy, my first thought was how lucky you were. I was grateful that you’d never have to go through what I just went through.” She squeezed me tighter. “How mistaken I was.”

“Mother! You jinxed me.” I laughed into her shoulder. I gave it another ten minutes before the call of the eggs got to me and I dressed. 

I avoided the mess on the straw by the cart and focused my attention on the seven eggs. The one consistency in all my eggs was the tear drop shape. The colors were always different. These seven were just as distinguished as the others. The first one that caught my eye was red, but unlike any red I’d seen on past eggs. This egg looked like a jewel, though an opaque one. The one next to it was just as elegant, but it was blue. Another egg had a grey metallic shimmer. One was solid black like coal. The fifth one was the shade of amethyst, but had a metallic luster. The last two were both green and yellow. One started green at the base and changed as a gradient into yellow at the tip. The other did the opposite with yellow at the base and green at the tip.

“They’re beautiful, Merlin.” I could hear the astonishment in Hunith’s words.

I turned to her with a huge grin. “Thank you.” She helped me move the cart into the Incubation Room. Once we got the cart settled, my mother looked in awe at all the eggs on the shelves. Hunith then turned and watched the ceremony I made of placing the seven new eggs beside their siblings on the bottom shelf. 

I closed my eyes, lowered my head, and gave thanks to the Goddess. Then I picked up the egg and kissed the shell. Though Hunith couldn’t see, I reached out my magic to say hello to the life within. I was as gentle as I could be as I lifted each of them up to their temporary home. After losing the other dragons, this moment was even more special for me. 

I stood by as Hunith wandered the room. Finally she came to a stop. She stood in front of the eight eggs I’d miscarried. I walked over to her and touched each stone egg. “It still hurts that they never had a chance at life.”

Hunith smiled sadly. She stepped in front of me and gently pulled me down to her so she could kiss the top of my head. “I know you will never forget them, Merlin.” She let me stand up straight. “No one is asking you to. You’ve made a lovely memorial for them in this room with your other dragons. My only wish for you is that you find joy again. You have so much happiness to look forward to.”

I nodded. She moved on to look at some of the other eggs. She stopped at the brown shards. “It belongs to the one that was killed. I burnt the remains. That’s what happened to the egg shell in the fire.”

Hunith pulled me into a hug. I was honestly too worn out for tears.

She saw the shards for Litushna and Ravick. “I almost lost both of them. Kilgharrah has been raising them for me while I’ve been stuck here. Mother, they’re beautiful.”

“I’m sure,” she laughed. I spent several minutes describing them to her. 

Last, I showed Hunith the shards of Kea’s shell. Seeing proof that the baby she had been helping take care of was more than human must have been strange for her. I was exhausted as we snuck back into the castle. 

We walked to Hunith’s chambers to relieve Gwaine.

“How did it go, Merlin?” Gwaine asked. 

“It went. Let me hug Kea and then I’m going to bed.” I was in luck that Kea had woken up. I held her for a few minutes and kissed her head. I put her back in the crib and said goodbye to Hunith.

Gwaine walked me upstairs. “Percival said Lancelot’s been a right turd not sleeping with you in his arms.”

I snorted. “Tell Lancelot to get better faster then. I’m going to sleep now. Thanks for helping with Kea.” Gwaine patted me on the back and then left. 

I snuck through the room. There was only one patient sleeping on the cot. Gaius was napping himself. I grabbed some bread and water and ate in my room. I then took a pain potion before snuggling down in my bed. I imagined Lancelot holding me. It was the only thought that let me ride out the aches.

It was two days later that Lancelot was well enough to leave his room and come visit me. 

Gaius checked over Lancelot. “I don’t believe you’re contagious anymore. No more fever. How’s the coughing?”

“Gone. I feel great, just a little weak.”

“Make sure to rest then.” Gaius gave him one more potion. “This should help you regain your strength.”

I stood in the doorway of my room. “So he’s kissable again?”

Gaius rolled his eyes. “I’m going to check on my patients,” he grumbled as he grabbed his medicine bag and left the room.

Lancelot laughed at me. “Is that all I’m good for?”

I smirked. “No, but it is what you’re best at.” I walked up to him and gave him a hug. I’d missed having him in my arms and I’d been worried too. 

“So not my sword work,” he joked.

I looked down at his crotch while remembering that night in the woods. “Oh that too.” I could feel my face transform into a dreamy look.

“Hey, now!” Lancelot shook my shoulder. “One baby’s enough.”

I groaned. “It was so good though.”

He laughed. “Just give it a month.” He rubbed my back.

“I’ve been reading up on options for covering…”

Lancelot shook his head. “Not worth the risk. That doesn’t always work.”

“How would you know?”

“I read up on it too.” That statement was enough for me. I launched my mouth on his and dragged him upstairs. There were other things we could do. 

I could tell Lancelot was tired, so I took control. I undressed him and leaned him back on the bed. I mouthed down his neck, making little bites. I sucked on his collarbone until he started whining. Then I laved his right nipple. I had to contort myself so my right hand lined up both our cocks to rub against each other. I felt his left hand join mine.

I stayed with that nipple, biting down as we jerked off together. I wanted to make sure he felt sore there for a week. When Lancelot finally came with a scream, I quickly moved my mouth to bite down beside his nipple or risk tearing it off. My orgasm slammed through me immediately and I yelled into his skin.

I heard something drop in the larger room beyond my door. I realized I’d forgotten to cast the silencing spell. I rushed to clean myself before putting my clothes back on. I threw a blanket over Lancelot who still seemed speechless.

I carefully opened my door. I blew out a breath. It was just Gwaine. “What are you doing here?” I huffed, walking one step down.

“Um, I don’t remember, really. Are you two always that loud?”

From the room behind me, Lancelot shouted, “Yes.”

Gwaine raised his eyebrows. 

First, I glanced behind him to check that the outer door was closed before explaining. “I usually make a sound barrier for the room,” I whispered.

“Handy. Put that spell in some charm and I’ll be quite grateful,” he said just as quietly. Gwaine started looking for a broom to help him clean up the jar he broke. I sighed and used magic to reform the jar and place it back on the shelf. “Wow.” Gwaine grinned. “I’ll just be going then. I doubt it was important. You have better ways to spend your time.” He walked to the door and then turned around. “Oh yeah, I ran into your mother. She wanted to know when you’ll come parent your daughter again.”

“Just go.” I went back up the stairs into my room, slamming the door. I heard Gwaine laughing as he left. I looked at Lancelot with some amusement. He still looked blissed out. “He made that up. I was just with my mother a few hours ago and she told me to get as much rest as I needed.”

“Rest, huh?” Lancelot blinked and sat up to clean off and pull his pants back on. Then he dragged me back into the bed. He gave me a kiss as we snuggled under the blanket. I ran my hands down his bare chest and let myself fall asleep. 

Fourteen days went by smoothly before scouts came back saying they’d spotted Morgana. Just in time for Samhain celebrations.


	22. Chapter 22

It had been over two weeks and I had yet to feel any signs of a pending birth. It was possible that I was finally done. I’d convinced Arthur to let me serve him at the Samhain feast. The food looked and smelled delicious. Despite King Uther’s stricter traditions, Arthur, in his role as Regent, had made changes to the celebration. This year, the kitchen staff made enough food to also feed themselves and the other servants. I couldn’t wait to try some of these dishes later tonight.

Right before the toast, my body started tingling. I bit back a groan. More eggs? I forced myself to listen to Arthur’s toast, although most of my thoughts were elsewhere. At the stroke of midnight, a blast of cold hit me as everything slowed and a ghastly woman in black appeared. She called me Emrys. I dropped to the floor as blackness crawled over my eyes.

“What happened to him?” Lancelot whispered. His voice was hoarse. Still, I’d recognize his voice anywhere. “Is it another birth?” he said even more quietly. I heard Gaius hum in thought. I smelled the herbs on Gaius’ hand that rested on my forehead. I wondered if there was a third person with me in the room.

I groaned as I tried to open my eyes. I shivered. Why was it so cold in here? 

“Merlin!” Arthur. His footfalls echoed as he rushed towards me. “Are you alright?”

“Come on, my boy, open your eyes,” Gaius said. I forced my eyes open. Too bright. Orange light from a handful of candles stung my eyes as if I were staring directly into the sun. I closed my eyes and whined. “No, try again,” Gaius ordered. “Look at me.”

This time, I kept them open for longer, blinking the tears away. Gaius’ face slowly came into focus. I turned my head and saw Arthur standing next to Lancelot. I lay on the patient cot in the main room of the Physician’s Quarters. Lancelot was clearly anxious. I’m not sure anyone else could tell. He had this way of appearing calm by the set of his shoulders and the rest of his stance. Yet I had started to notice that whenever he was worried, mostly about me, his mouth tightened like he was grinding his teeth, and the pointer finger on either hand would occasionally twitch. His hands were determined to act on their own to fix the problem.

I wanted to reassure him. To pull him down into my arms, kiss him, and run my hands through his hair. Anything that would make him believe I was fine. I could do none of these things. Not with Arthur here. I shoved down my frustration so I could appreciate that Arthur worried about me too. For the sake of his reputation as the Prince, Arthur had spent years trying to pretend we weren’t friends. He tried to not show that he cared. This year he’d stopped putting up that front when he was around those he trusted. His willingness to let the fear show in his eyes began when I got sick in April. 

I wished I could tell Arthur everything so that he’d stopped thinking some illness might kill me. Though considering his mother died in childbirth, I wasn’t sure telling him about the births every two weeks would really stop his concern. If he managed to get past his anger about the magic and the dragons, he would be really freaked out. It still freaked me out. I was adjusting still. 

“I’m okay.” I stared pointedly at Arthur. Arthur huffed out a breath. My eyes switched to Lancelot who hadn’t relaxed at my statement. I focused on Arthur again. “It’s just more of the same. I guess I wasn’t ready to start working again.”

Arthur nodded. “You idiot,” he sighed. He turned his back to me and took a couple steps towards the door. He quickly turned back. “You rest this time. I mean it.” He left swiftly.

“What really happened?” Gaius asked. 

I groaned. “Not a complete lie. During the feast, my nerves lit up. Another birth apparently. But then, all of a sudden, everything got cold and empty and a pale woman in black clothing appeared. It was like her eyes were part of a deep void of nothingness. She called me Emrys. And then I crashed.”

Gaius turned pale.

Lancelot looked to Gaius. “What is it?”

“The Cailleach.” Gaius moved to his books. “She’s the gatekeeper of the spirit world.” Gaius started theorizing what her presence could mean.

Lancelot helped me sit up on the cot and then he sat down next to me. I snuggled into his chest, kissing his neck. His body heat started to push back against the chill. I wasn’t sure what my vision presaged. I had a gut feeling that this was the beginning of dark times. I hated being in a weak condition when I needed to fulfill my destiny as protector.

Once Gaius realized I wasn’t paying much attention, he grumbled and started researching on his own. He stomped up the stairs to get to the books he kept higher on the shelves. 

“Is Kea with my mother?” I asked Lancelot.

“Yes. I should tell her you’re okay. She’s been worried. Guinevere informed Hunith you’d fallen unconscious while Gwaine and I brought you to Gaius.” Lancelot circled his hand over my back.

“How long has it been?”

Lancelot gave a strained smile before sighing. “The feast was yesterday.” I glanced at the window. Too dark to just be cloudy. I’d been unconscious for a whole day. 

A spike of icy fear went down my spine. “I don’t feel the cramps or anything now.” I pulled back. “What if the dragons are already dead?” My body shook with panic. It had been so hard to birth those miscarried eggs. I couldn’t go through that again.

Lancelot wiped away the tears that slid down my cheeks. His eyes searched mine, his mouth slightly agape as he struggled for words. 

Gaius must have heard because he appeared at my side. “Merlin, deep breaths, slowly exhale.” I complied shakily. “It might just be you’re in shock. A stall in the labor. What you need is to get some sleep.”

Once I calmed enough, Lancelot helped me off the cot. Gaius then agreed to talk to Hunith so we could rest. 

Lancelot walked me up into my room. He took off his boots before lying down. Already barefoot, I climbed under the covers. The tiny bed wasn’t comfortable, but I relished having my back against Lancelot’s chest. Falling asleep was difficult. It didn’t seem to matter that I was exhausted. 

Lancelot fell asleep first, though I knew he tried to stay awake. This day must have been hard for him. I could easily imagine how distressing it would be to wait for me to wake up. It reminded me of him being poisoned. I’d been upset, though I’d tried to not show it. It had weighed on me throughout the birth. I shied away from the rest of the memory of that night. 

My point was that if I’d been in his place, with every second passing, I would have craved to see his eyes open. To know that he was safe. I picked up one of his hands and kissed his palm so I could comfort him in his sleep. I linked our hands together and closed my eyes. I allowed only his soft breaths in and out to fill my thoughts until I too fell asleep.

Hunith visited with Kea in the morning. I played with Kea while Lancelot went to the throne room with the rest of the Knights. I tickled Kea’s feet so she’d giggle. My thoughts kept drifting. I should have been in that room with them. My gut told me it was important.

Lancelot came back to see me. I was beyond ready for answers. He told me word for word what the woman said. The woman mentioned being attacked by men with no faces. Lancelot left quickly. He was going with Arthur and the other top Knights to investigate. I had to bite my lip to keep from asking if I could go with them.

The first night after they left, all was quiet. The second day, I was on edge. I took to walking the halls with Kea in my arms to calm us both. As it got dark, I headed back so I could feed her. I was nearing Hunith’s chambers by the time the sun completely set. Suddenly, the torches in the hall went out with a cold breeze. I heard a screech. I ran. I tried to shield Kea in my arms.

I tripped and fell to my knees in front of an alcove. I hid Kea behind me. Just in time, I turned back and spoke a spell to push the wispy form away from me. Nothing happened and it swooped straight into me. The force of its attack lifted me up in the air for several moments. Icy tendrils explored my body. They lingered on my abdomen before the spirit went away. I dropped to my knees hard. I struggled to catch my breath. Something in me felt wrong. I picked Kea up and jogged up the stairs, two at a time. 

“Gaius!” I slammed the door shut. Gaius and Hunith turned. I could sense more of the spirits out there. “What do we do? They’re here!” I put Kea in her cradle. “My magic did nothing.” I described the spirit to him.

“The Dorocha,” Gaius spat. “As I feared. The only good news I came across in my research was that they hate fire.”

With a thought, all the candles in the room lit up. Hunith piled more wood in the fireplace. “Keep Kea safe.” 

“What are you going to do?” Gaius asked.

I grabbed a torch and lit it with my magic. I opened the door. “I need to warn everyone else how to stay safe.”

I shut the door behind me securely. Ten minutes later I ran past Guinevere. “Gaius says the spirits are Dorocha. Everyone needs to use fire to keep them back. Spread the word.” I handed her the spare torch I’d found. I ran towards the gate into the lower town. 

“Where are you going?” she shouted.

“To tell the guards. They need to protect everyone!”

The night was busy with everyone on high alert. Despite being a servant, I was taken seriously. None of the guards questioned me, thankfully. Soon, everyone hid in their homes with the fires burning. 

A few people had already been attacked before I could get the warning out. It shocked me to realize that those attacked died instantly. Early in the morning, Arthur and the Knights returned. Lancelot visited us first. 

My mother was feeding Kea when Lancelot stepped through the door. He explained that Arthur went to inform Lord Agravaine and the Council. Arthur planned to tell his father as well. That is if Uther would even listen.

Lancelot sat at the table waiting while Gaius spread out his books. “What have you discovered?” Lancelot asked.

Gaius sighed. “It appears that the veil between the worlds of the living and the dead was torn. Such a thing could only happen at the Isle of the Blessed. A sacrifice was made. And so a sacrifice must close it.”

“I know what Arthur will do,” I murmured. I cleared my throat. “Arthur will offer his own life for the Kingdom. I can’t let him do this.” A calm certainty filled me. I knew what I had to do.

Lancelot stood up quickly when he saw my face. “You can’t mean to take his place!” I went to respond and he grabbed my arms and shook me. “Merlin! You are too important. This world needs you. Our daughter needs you.” He took a deep breath. “Your dragons need you so they can hatch. You can’t just throw your life away.”

I’d never seen Lancelot so worked up. “Arthur will be King. My destiny is to protect him.”

Lancelot nodded. “For your destiny to have a hope of coming true, you need to be alive to make it happen. So let me take your place. I’ll sacrifice my life so that Arthur may live.”

“No!” I clung to him. “I can’t lose you.” My eyes burned. “You mean everything to me.”

Lancelot shook his head. “Arthur is that person. We both know it.”

I held Lancelot tighter. “Arthur is my destiny. But you are the love of my life. You have given me hope and joy. Lance...” I trembled as I fought my emotions so I could speak. “I am nothing without you.”

“That’s not true,” he said. “You are stronger than you know.”

I searched his eyes. “Please don’t make me choose.” I kissed him. I didn’t care that Gaius and Hunith were in the room with us. “Let me find another way.”

Kea started crying. My mother shushed her and took her into my bedroom. A thunder of footsteps roused me. I pulled away from Lancelot just in time as Arthur barged into the room. He was quickly followed by Leon, Percival, Elyan, and Gwaine. Guinevere squeezed into the now crowded room shortly after.

My thoughts were a whirl as Gaius spoke to all in the room of his research.

“So a sacrifice is necessary to close the veil?” Arthur asked to clarify. His words snapped me out of my desperate thoughts.

Gaius nodded. 

My heart pounded in my throat. I couldn’t comprehend a world in which Lancelot was dead. Yet Arthur was my best friend. My future King. I’d do anything for him. Anything, except give up my lover. My daughter’s father. My everything.

The conversation continued on around me. They were getting ready to leave the room to start packing before I could get my bearings. I was clearly not invited on this quest.

After the others had filed out, I stopped Lancelot at the door. I pulled him to me and kissed him with all the passion and pain I was feeling. “Please don’t go.” He touched his hand to my cheek and leaned down for one more kiss before walking out the door. 

I stumbled back and sat heavily in one of the chairs. Gaius came up behind me and rested his hands on my shoulders. We stayed like that for several minutes before he finally huffed. “What are you planning, Merlin?”

I jolted. “Going to the vaults. The crystal of Neahtid. Maybe it’ll show me a path.”

Before he could respond, I was up and out the door. 

After a bit of sneaking around I found my way into the vaults. The crystal called to me among all the treasures on all the shelves. I picked it up carefully, keeping it covered in the cloth. I found a corner out of the way of any objects. I cast a spell of illusion that would keep anyone from seeing me. There was a torch in the corner that I’d lit on my way in. A second spell should keep it from going out.

Once I was comfortable on the floor, I pulled out the crystal. I focused my mind on the Dorocha and on the tear in the veil at the Isle of the Blessed. I found myself lost in the future. The tear was a monstrous gaping wound in front of an altar. I watched as Lancelot walked through the veil while I stood distracted by the Cailleach. My heart cried out. This couldn’t be. 

I pushed the magic to show alternatives. My soul screamed when I saw Arthur enter the veil and destiny fall apart. I pushed harder. I saw myself walk into the veil. I had to breathe deeply because I knew in this case that my dragon children would linger unhatched for eternity. It was worse than I could imagine. Magic itself was destroyed and the world fell into darkness.

I kept looking for possible futures for hours. There had to be a way forward without losing those I loved. I felt a stirring in my abdomen. I pulled my mind out of the crystal for a moment and focused my magic inward. There was the faint echo of a life inside me. Only one. And it was dying. The Dorocha’s attack was killing my dragon. I had to fight back a sob. I felt a push from that life to look back into the crystal.

Inside this new future was the solution my dragon child offered. To give her soul to the Cailleach. I could hear her voice whispering to me from a great distance. ‘I do this for you, Father. For your partner and for your King. This is for my siblings, for Litushna, Ravick, and Kea. For those waiting to hatch and those yet to be born. It is an honor.’ 

The crystal dropped into my lap as my fingers went limp. Tears poured down my face. I pushed my magic far up into the castle and out further beyond the roof so I could taste the sky. My magic screamed out at the late noon sun because I had no breath left myself. The day turned to night and my magic cried with the moon and the stars. When dawn arrived, I pulled my mind and magic back into my body. Stiffly, I stood up. Time was running out.


	23. Chapter 23

The early sunlight drifted into the Physician’s Quarters. My satchel hung heavy across my shoulders. I held Kea close to me. “I’ll be back, my dear child. I’ll bring your father with me.” My magic touched her mind, sending a mix of love and hope with my promise. She blinked back at me. “None of them will die if I can help it,” I whispered to the room.

Gaius moved to stand beside me. “Merlin?”

I focused on him. “Arthur will live. He will be a great King.”

“What do you plan to do?” Gaius frowned. 

I kissed Kea’s cheeks. It hurt too much to say. “I’ll tell you when I get back.” Gaius went to speak. “Just trust me, please.”

Hunith embraced me before taking Kea into her arms. “Be safe, my son.” 

Gaius huffed. “Go swiftly. They’re a day ahead.”

With one last look, I departed. Though I rode the horse as hard as I dared, I knew I was too far behind. I used my magic to keep the fire burning at my shelter through the night. The next day brought another hard ride and more liberal use of magic at night. I couldn’t sleep. Dread filled me, making my lungs heavy. I worried that something had gone wrong with my friends. 

On the third day, I heard the sound of hooves thundering my way. I pulled up in time to see Gwaine crest the hill with someone else limp on the horse in front of him. “Gwaine!”

He directed the horse to stop a few feet from me. “Merlin? What are you doing here?”

“Who is it?” I scrambled off my horse. “Leon? What happened?”

Gwaine sighed. “He threw himself in front of one of the spirits that tried to attack Arthur.”

I felt Leon’s pulse. “But he lives?” I tried to push some of my magic into him to search out any magical energy. Oh. “He was healed by the Cup of Life once.”

“And this is still helping him?”

“Yes.” I closed my eyes and reached out around me. I heard voices. I lost myself for a moment while speaking to them. “Come this way. I sense water spirits. The Vilia can heal him.” 

Gwaine chose not to question me. It took us hours to get to the lake. The Vilia proved to be gentle spirits. Gwaine stretched Leon out so that his hand touched the water. As they healed Leon, I took off my boots and placed my feet in the water. The Vilia offered me comfort. They gave me strength. I was grateful for their kindness as my bones ached and my heart hurt. I slept peacefully knowing we were safe.

In the morning, Leon woke up. “Merlin. Why are you here? It’s not safe.”

“I wanted to help.” I said this as I skinned the fish I caught. I looked at him hopefully. But then I remembered my vision in the crystal. I didn’t see Leon or Gwaine at the Isle. I finally understood.

I waited until after breakfast, while Leon and Gwaine were arguing what to do next, to groan loudly and fake a faint to the ground. “Merlin!” Gwaine rushed to my side. He placed a hand on my forehead. “Leon, he’s burning up.”

I was? Oh, I guess I’d had a slight fever these last few days. Perfect. This would help my plan.

I squinted my eyes open to see Leon nod as if he’d made a decision. “We take him back to Camelot.” 

Gwaine lifted me up. “Come on, Merlin, you’re riding with me.”

I sat in front on the horse. I relaxed by body back against him as we rode towards Camelot. Even though we were heading the wrong way, I remained calm. Gwaine whispered in my ear. “Were you faking?”

“I had a vision,” I told him. It was the easiest explanation. “I believe you and Leon are needed in Camelot.” I rubbed my eyes.

Gwaine hummed. “And what are you going to do?” 

“Try and convince a dragon to let me ride him to the Isle.”

“What? Flying?” Gwaine laughed before lowering his voice. “Are you sure I can’t come with you?”

I couldn’t stop a giggle as I imagined Gwaine and Kilgharrah meeting. “Not this time, I suspect.”

We stopped for the night at an abandoned cabin that luckily for us had plenty of firewood. It meant I didn’t have to expose my magic to Leon just yet. Gwaine and Leon took turns on watch. They told me to sleep.

The next morning we rode out. I bloodied my bottom lip as I tried to tamp down my anxiety. I knew Lancelot would protect Arthur. In fact that scared me more than I wanted to admit. Staring at the blur of trees I kept seeing Lancelot walking through the veil.

It had just turned dark when we made it to Camelot. As we traveled through the lower town, Gwaine and Leon held torches. My magic screamed at me. “Stop,” I shouted. Gwaine pulled on the reins. Leon stopped a moment later. “There!” I pointed.

Leon jumped off the horse and hurried forward. Guinevere lay in a small alleyway, her body sprawled like garbage. A Dorocha flew towards her. Leon ran in front and swept the torch back and forth. The spirit left. 

I took a deep breath once I realized I’d stopped inhaling. “I’ve got the horses. Help Leon,” I said to Gwaine.

Gwaine jumped off the horse after handing me both reins. Together Gwaine and Leon picked up an unconscious Guinevere and placed her over the horse’s back. Leon led the horse on foot. I brought up the rear while Gwaine walked beside us with a torch aloft.

We only passed a handful of guards with the courage to still be out that night protecting the citizens. I handed the horses off to the stablemen and followed Leon and Gwaine inside. Leon carried Guinevere and Gwaine guarded for spirits. Once in the Physician’s Quarters, Gaius began checking over Guinevere. 

“Merlin, you’re back?” Hunith exclaimed. “What happened?”

Before I could respond, Leon spoke. “His illness came upon him when we met up.”

“Oh, my.” Hunith quickly guided me back into my room. Kea lay in her crib. Hunith spoke softly. “How long do you have, Merlin?”

I kept my voice at the same low volume. “I’m fine, Mother. I lied to Leon. I needed an excuse to convince him to return to Camelot. I knew they were both needed here.”

My magic flared in me, heightened due to the adrenaline. It allowed me to look through the door into the main room. I could only see shapes where life existed. I recognized Gaius tending to the cut on Guinevere’s head. Leon and Gwaine were sat at the table drinking water. I shook my head to clear the images. “We were almost too late to save Gwen.”

“What will you do now?” Hunith gestured for me to sit on my bed. She took the stool.

I sighed. “Go for a flight in the morning.”

Hunith squinted at me. 

I rushed to explain. “The only way I can get to the Isle is to convince Kilgharrah to fly me there. I don’t have time to learn how to fly on my own.”

Hunith nodded. “You never explained what you were planning to do.”

I scooted my back to the wall and pushed my knees up so I could lay my chin atop them. “I looked into the future and found that the present provided a solution. I almost sound like Kilgharrah.” I groaned. “My last birth was meant to be one dragon. Only the Dorocha attack hurt her.”

“When were you attacked?” Hunith whispered.

“That first time I saw them. I was protecting Kea.” I hurried on. “The dragon inside me is dying. That’s why I haven’t birthed her yet. My body’s reaction is all a mess at the moment.”

Hunith gave me a few minutes to find the words.

“She spoke to me. My dragon did. I’m not sure how she reached me.” My voice shook. “She offered for her spirit to cross the veil.” I hiccuped. “I saw in the crystal that the Cailleach will accept that sacrifice.”

“I am so sorry, Merlin.” Hunith climbed in the bed beside me and pulled me to her. I couldn’t cry even with her arms wrapped around me. I had been crying off and on for six months. But in this moment I was empty. I still let her comfort me. I let that be enough for now. I fell asleep in her arms like I once did as a child.

In the morning, I sneaked out past Guinevere asleep on the patient cot and Gaius snoring in his bed. Hunith had taken Kea back to her chambers. I passed Gwaine in the hall. He promised to defend Camelot here on his end.

I left the castle on foot as I didn’t want to endanger a horse. I only carried my satchel. I jogged as fast as my body would allow. Twenty-five minutes later, I arrived at the clearing. It felt strange to shout in dragon tongue during daylight. I didn’t have a choice. Even by flight, it would take hours to get to the Isle.

Kilgharrah arrived a half hour later. He settled down in front of me. “Young Warlock, I sense there is no birth forthcoming.”

“No.” I forced my breathing to slow. “I called you because of the Dorocha. I need to stop Arthur from sacrificing himself to close the veil at the Isle of the Blessed. And I will not let Lancelot take his place.” My body itched all over in anticipation of Kilgharrah’s words.

Kilgharrah stretched his head down to my level. “Merlin, you cannot sacrifice yourself. Think of your young.”

“I know. I won’t.” My voice wobbled. “But the dragon I bear now is near death. She wants to close the veil herself. For me, for her siblings.” My body trembled.

Tears welled up in Kilgharrah’s eyes. Tears I couldn’t weep myself. “You haven’t much time.” He lowered his body to the ground. “Yes, Merlin, I will fly you there. We must hurry.”

I climbed on top of Kilgharrah. As he lifted off, I tried to focus on what it might feel like when I do this on my own. Fly using my own wings. I tried to let the usual joy of being among the clouds infuse my thoughts, but all I felt was heartache, a dark void. 

An hour into the flight, I looked to my left and spotted a small dragon flying beside us. It had white and blue scales. The dragon blended in with the clouds and the sky. A shout of the dragon’s joy echoed in my ears. 

The vision belonged to the dragon I carried. This was her one and only flight in this world. She had connected to my mind so effortlessly. Finally, the tears came. They burned as they fell freely from my eyes. I released my right hand’s grip on Kilgharrah’s scales. I placed my hand against my stomach. As I cried, I let the thrill of flight fill me so I could share that feeling with her.

I noted the cold wet touch of the clouds we flew through. The dizzying view below us. The rush of our movement. I embraced this kinetic joy. I then let my magic stretch out so I could feel everything around me. Being so far up, I felt more at one with the world than I ever did standing on the ground.

Kilgharrah’s magic pushed up against mine in question. I only cried harder and let him feel the life within me and her need to feel the wind. “Hold on tight,” Kilgharrah yelled.

I had only a second of warning before Kilgharrah flew straight down before flipping and flapping his wings to gain back height. I laughed, shouting with real joy. We still made good time, but every once in a while Kilgharrah gave me and my child a real ride. I’d never been so grateful to call him kin.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning at the end of the chapter.

Kilgharrah and I caught up with the Knights late in the evening. They were stepping into the boat as we flew past. I had cast a spell to hide us, both by sight and sound. As we crossed the water and the ruins below us, my stomach clenched in a painful anticipation. Kilgharrah hovered over the only tower that hadn’t been destroyed. I dropped down onto the roof using magic to slow my fall. The impact still rattled my legs.

From there it took longer than expected to travel down to the landing. First, I had to climb down the outside of the tower into the closest open window. The door to the stairs was stuck, so I blasted it open. I jogged down the steps. After the second turn, I found six missing steps I had to leap down. My jump just missed, but I grabbed onto the stone. The drop would have been at least fifteen feet with no clear way out. I groaned as I pulled myself up. I kept jogging down. A couple turns later, I climbed over rubble. This continued every few steps with more rubble to clear. I struggled to catch my breath once free of the stairs. I pushed my way through another broken door.

I wiped the sweat off my forehead. I needed to find the way to that altar. Screeches alerted me to a set of Wyverns. I ran forward through the halls until I spotted them through a large open window. I roared in dragon tongue, ordering them to leave.

It struck me how strange it was that no Dorocha lingered so close to the veil. The thought allowed me to keep my focus away from why I was here. I snuck through a dizzying number of rooms until I got to an opening. I hid behind a door. I watched Elyan and Percival decide to stay behind and guard their backs. Arthur and Lancelot headed into the courtyard to face off against the Cailleach.

I cast an illusion and ran past Elyan and Percival. In front of me, Arthur yelled at the Cailleach. Her spite and disinterest was clear in every expression that crossed her face. Lancelot stood only a couple feet behind Arthur. The tear in the veil loomed behind her just as terrible as in my vision. A wave of despair from the other side slammed into me. Not all of the dead had managed to escape. I took a deep breath to shake it off.

I whispered a spell that knocked Arthur unconscious. My magic caught him and lowered him to the floor. I quickly followed up with another spell to freeze Lancelot in place. Then I let the illusion drop. I walked forward to the Cailleach. 

She was just as I remembered her at the Samhain feast. Her dress and skin looked macabre. The pain that hardened her eyes made clear that she too was no longer a living creature. “So Emrys, you choose to challenge me after all. Will you give yourself to the spirits, to save your Prince?”

“I will not.” I walked up with a forced confidence.

The Cailleach snarled. “You cannot defeat me. I do not exist on this plane.” I only shook my head. She laughed. “Perhaps you just wished to say goodbye to your lover.”

“We all walk free. I have another offer.” I walked around the altar with the Cailleach countering my every move.

“Merlin, what are you doing?” Lancelot struggled against my spell.

I couldn’t lose focus with the Cailleach, so I let my magic ruffle Lancelot’s hair and warm his arms. I felt him settle down.

The Cailleach sneered. “The veil was opened by a life, it must close with one.”

“The dragon I bear offers her life to close the veil.”

“Merlin, no!” Lancelot shouted.

I tensed up at his words, but kept eye contact with the Cailleach. “It is her wish. Will you accept?”

The Cailleach’s eyes brightened. “A dragon sacrifice? I could not have anticipated such a turn.” She relaxed. “Did you know that when magical creatures die they stay in the mortal realm, becoming part of the world itself. Only the human dead reside beyond the veil. Your dragon child will be a god among the dead. I foresee a new order, a better existence for the dead with her ruling over them.” 

The bitter weariness left her features. She continued. “Such a gift will help make the veil stronger so that no ritual such as the one Morgana Pendragon performed will ever work again. Never again will the Dorocha enter the mortal realm. I thank you, Emrys.”

At the conclusion of her words, I felt a tension around my abdomen. The Cailleach raised her hand, made a fist and pulled. A small wispy dragon flew out of me. Her form appeared in a blue tint, making her white and blue scales appear ethereal. She was a spirit already. Still I could imagine how beautifully she would have sparkled in the sun.

I gazed in awe as her body quickly grew to an adult size. She flew in place before looking back at me. She had the most beautiful blue eyes I’d ever seen. I watched breathlessly as my dragon’s spirit flew through the veil. The tear in the veil closed quickly, folding in upon itself. The Cailleach vanished. 

I fell to my knees as pain gripped me. I knew I didn’t have much time. I felt Lancelot fold me into his arms. The spell on him had broken when my dragon’s spirit left me. I lifted my face up to kiss him. “She was already dying,” I told him. Then I stood up on shaky legs. “I must go. I still need to birth the egg.”

Before Lancelot could speak, I spelled an illusion to hide myself and jogged as fast as my aching body allowed. I passed by as Elyan and Percival debated whether it was safe to join the others. As I ran through the winding ruins, I wondered what conversations they all had on the trip here. As I climbed over the rubble in the stairwell, I kept thinking. Did they argue about who would sacrifice themselves? It made me wonder if I’d only knocked Arthur out before Lancelot could. He had been standing just behind him.

At the hole in the steps, I let my magic rush out of me as I leaped. The magic kept me running up the steps until I stumbled past the door. I took deep breaths trying to center myself before I climbed out the window and up to the roof. The cramping pain was unbearable. When I got to the roof of the tower, I didn’t even have to call. I sensed Kilgharrah headed my way. He was still invisible to human sight. I felt when he arrived. His clawed feet gripped me carefully and lifted.

I watched the Isle of the Blessed fade away as we flew off, my feet dangling. I hurt badly as I had to fight my magic to prevent the change. We flew far enough away so my cries wouldn’t be heard and in a different direction than the Knights would travel on their return trip to Camelot. 

I took note of the day. It was the ninth of November. Nine days since I first felt the stirring of a new birth. Now her spirit was gone and I had to birth her egg.

Kilgharrah gently dropped me to the ground in a large clearing he’d found. As he went to land I was already struggling out of my clothes. I’d barely had time to roll up my clothes, shove them into my satchel and toss it and my boots aside before the change took me. 

I struggled up into position for an unassisted birth. Kilgharrah blew a warm breath of purple dust on me to start the birthing process for a stillborn egg. A vice around my heart made it hard to concentrate. All I could see was her beautiful face.

I had to focus my energy on holding my position. Sometimes, for no reason I could discern, the egg stalled and I had to use my own magic to force it along. By the time I began pushing the egg out, I was sobbing. It wasn’t the pain. Just a deep empty feeling overwhelming me. The egg gently dropped. I stepped back. I forced my magic to hold back the change.

This spell had come to me on the flight from the Isle. I spoke in dragon tongue melding my own magic with that of a Great Dragon’s to force the egg and all that was inside it into dust. It then floated up into the air and reformed into the shape of the adult dragon I saw enter the veil. The magic used heat and pressure to turn it into a material like porcelain. The blue and white dragon figurine was five inches tall and had a wingspan of seven inches. And though its tail was nine inches long, it curled so that the entire length of the body was only eight inches. I whispered one more spell while it floated in the air. A golden script appeared on the tail spelling out her name, ‘Auron’. 

“A noble sacrifice,” Kilgharrah translated. “Very fitting.”

I let the figurine settle gently on the ground. And then I moved further back so my transformation could not harm it. After the change, I put back on my clothes. My entire body ached. I got to my feet and picked up the figurine, carefully placing it in my satchel. 

“Kilgharrah. Would it be too much to ask for you to take me home now? I know she’s no longer here, but I think one last flight at night for Auron would be fitting. And I really want to see Gaius and my mother. I want to hold Kea when she wakes in the early morning.”

Kilgharrah looked at me sadly. “Of course, Merlin. Climb up. We will use this flight together to honor her. Her siblings will be proud of her.”

The flight calmed me. Auron was in my thoughts the entire way. I felt more at peace than I’d expected to. Somehow I knew that she was okay. She was no longer mine. Auron would be appreciated by the dead, just as the Cailleach said. My eyes weren’t dry that night, but the pain was lessened as I gazed at the stars. 

We landed in the clearing an hour before dawn. I cast another illusion spell and entered the castle. This spell was one I’d only been able to master because of the free time I’d had. It had gotten a lot of use recently. I only wished I’d learned it before Washeer was killed. 

I first went to Hunith’s room as I expected Kea to be sleeping there. I knocked softly. In moments I heard a rustle and then the door opened. My mother had pulled a simple robe over her nightgown. She let me into the room. I gently placed my satchel on the table. 

“Merlin?” Hunith said.

I turned to her. “It worked. Arthur and Lancelot are alive. They should return in a few days with Elyan and Percival.”

“Come here, child.” At her words, I rushed into her arms. I let my grief overtake me. I hadn’t thought I could cry anymore. When the tears finally stopped, she bid me take her bed. Then she left to go inform Gaius of what had occurred. 

I didn’t want to sleep, but exhaustion claimed me. I slept for hours. My mother must have taken my own bed. Kea’s cries of hunger woke me as the sun shone brightly in a noon sky. I scrambled out of bed and picked Kea up. She had been so good to let me sleep. She was hungry and needed a change. 

Taking care of her filled the next hour. I enjoyed this break from my thoughts. Afterwards, I brought her up to the Physician’s Quarters so I could visit with Gaius as well as eat something myself. I carried my satchel with me as well. I’d decided to keep the figurine in my room. I planned to place a spell on it so only those I allowed could see it.

As I entered the main room I first put Kea in the cradle. Gaius watched me. “Your mother is in the lower town helping deliver rations.”

I nodded and went up to my room. I had a tiny desk in the room. I cleared a space and took the figurine out of my satchel and set it down. I would be able to see her every day now. I felt a bit guilty not putting her with her siblings. But I figured they’d understand.

Gaius walked up the stairs into my room. “What is it, Merlin?”

I guided his hand to the figurine. I bade my magic let him see the figurine. “This is Auron. She closed the veil.”

“She’s lovely,” Gaius said. He pulled me into his arms. I sighed, enjoying the comfort for a moment.

I stood back and looked at Auron one more time. “She’s my hero.” Then I left my room and began helping Gaius with his potions. He told me that not as many in the citadel died as was expected thanks to Leon’s and Gwaine’s efforts. Then he told me of Guinevere’s heroism in speaking out against Agravaine’s desire to close off the city to the refugees. It made me wonder if Agravaine had been behind the attack against her. I shared that theory with Gaius as we worked.

Though I couldn’t tell the rest of the castle that I knew the veil was closed, it seemed they got the message. That night there were no more spirit attacks.

I spent that night with my incubating dragons and told them the tale of their sister, Auron. They shared their awe and regret. I left the room filled with relief as well. I knew I could move forward. It helped knowing that one day I would hatch my dragons.

When I returned to the Physician’s Quarters, Guinevere was there to confront me. “Merlin. I am so glad you’re safe, but Leon told me you tried to catch up with them. What were you planning? Were you going to give your life away?” Guinevere grabbed my hands and shook them.

I opened and closed my mouth a couple times searching for words.

“Of course you were. How could I even be surprised.” She paused, turning from me. “I spoke with Lancelot before they left.” She squeezed my hands, but refused to look me in the eye. “I asked him to protect Arthur.” 

I just watched her as she tried to gain control of her emotions.

“The Dorocha have stopped,” she said. “One of them is gone. Either my love.” She gasped, before gathering her courage. “Either Arthur is dead. Or Lancelot is.” She stared into my eyes. “I asked your love to die for mine.” She raised one of her hands to my cheek. “I am so sorry, Merlin. That was a terrible thing for me to ask.”

I was dumbstruck. “You knew about us?”

Guinevere stepped back, dropping both hands. “It was a rumor that Elyan shared with me. But I didn’t need to hear it. I could see it in how you two looked at each other.”

It took me a few moments to process. Yet I had to focus on the important point. I ran my right hand through my hair as I tried to catch her eyes. “Gwen. I don’t think either of them are gone. I just know that it worked out. Don’t despair, please.”

She was the strongest woman I knew. Her tears as she pulled me into a hug did not change that certainty at all. One day I would tell her why I knew they were safe. I had to believe that the future held a peace and acceptance for people like me.

It was only four more days before Arthur, Lancelot, Elyan and Percival returned to Camelot. They rode partially through the night so as to get back as quickly as they could. I went out to greet them. I smiled so brightly to see that nothing had befallen them on the trip back. 

Guinevere hugged Arthur. “What happened?” She looked at Lancelot with confusion.

Arthur sighed. “I offered my life to the Cailleach. I blacked out shortly after. When I came to, Lancelot had woken before me. We believe it was the simple offer of a sacrifice that was enough for the Cailleach. She closed the veil while we were unconscious.”

I grimaced as Arthur spoke. It tore at me that Auron’s sacrifice had to be kept secret. Lancelot met my eyes. I could read his attempt at comfort in them.

As soon as it was feasible, I pulled Lancelot into an empty room that was nearby. I locked the door with magic before doing my best to devour his mouth. My passion slowed down quickly as my emotions overcame me. I pulled back and turned into his shoulder and cried. He held me tight. I had never been more thankful for this man. I was so happy to not lose him. Having him here with me made my gratitude to Auron even stronger.

We went to my room an hour later. I needed to show him the dragon figurine. As I placed his hand on what he first saw as empty air, I watched as awe came over his features.

“Is this what she would have looked like?” Lancelot asked.

“Yes. Her name is Auron. It means ‘a noble sacrifice’. She has a different existence now among the dead. I feel it in my heart that she’s content.” We stood in silence for a while studying the the figurine on my desk.

Eventually, I pulled Lancelot down to sit on my bed. “Kilgharrah told me just before we parted that he sensed no more eggs within me. The birthing cycle is over. He also said he can’t be sure when it’ll start up again.”

Lancelot kissed me gently. “I’m sorry the last one went this way.” I nodded shakily. We stretched out on my bed and I held on as I let the experiences of these many months wash over me. The knowledge that I no longer had other lives sharing my body left me feeling bereft.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Sacrifice, Death of a Dragon, Stillbirth


	25. Chapter 25

Three weeks passed where I let my body heal. Okay... I was ordered to let my body heal. Kilgharrah refused to teach me how to change on my own just yet. Gaius continued to use the younger servants to pick herbs. My mother gave much of her time to caring for Kea. Lancelot was back to full time training. And Arthur? Well, he refused to let me return to my duties for now. Of course, I couldn’t tell him why I knew the ‘illness’ was well and truly gone.

I was dreadfully bored. I studied magic. I spent as much time with my daughter as possible. And I rested. It actually took those three weeks for my body to finally stop hurting. There had been aches that I’d gotten so used to, I didn’t notice them anymore. When I woke up this morning, all my pain was gone. I practically danced out of my room.

Unfortunately, to prove to Arthur I was well, Lancelot would need to spend more time sleeping in his own room. I no longer needed an extra hand to care for me. When I mentioned this to Gwaine, he cackled.

Gwaine sat on the stool and grinned at me. “Arthur didn’t know that Lancelot was sleeping in your room. None of us Knights told him. The Princess is as oblivious as ever. As long as Lancelot is back on patrols, I think Arthur can be convinced to let you return to work.”

I hummed as I stretched out my legs. They’d been cramping because I was using them to hold up a heavy book. It was so nice to feel normal again. “As long as I still get a couple days off a week. I can’t have my mother care for Kea all the time. Plus, I’m still trying to convince Kilgharrah to teach me to fly.”

“Sounds like fun. You’ll tell me what it’s like, won’t you?” Gwaine had a twist to his lips as he flipped his hair out of his eyes. 

“Of course.” I smiled as I remembered the promise Kilgharrah made yesterday. “Lancelot and I are going to visit my baby dragons. They both have orange scales. One’s female, her name is Litushna and I remember her head had a patch of yellow scales. I can’t wait to see how she’s grown into it. And then the male is named Ravick. He has red tips on his wings. It’ll look amazing when his wings are fully developed.” I gazed off in memory.

Gwaine smiled and just watched me.

I refocused. “We’re going tomorrow evening. I haven’t seen them since they were born. It’s been more than five months.”

Gwaine patted my shoulder. “I’m happy you get to see them, Merlin. One day I’d love if you introduced me.”

I grinned back at him.

The next evening, Lancelot sat behind me atop Kilgharrah as we flew towards the cave. Lancelot had a very tight grip on my waist. 

I cheered with delight as the wind rushed past us. The view was beautiful all the way up here. I gazed out at the stars. So brilliant. I recalled vividly the moments I spent seeing them up close.

“You find this fun?” Lancelot shouted incredulously in my ear.

“Yes!” I screamed back.

Lancelot laughed, though I could tell he was uncomfortable. 

Once we landed, but before we got down, Lancelot kissed underneath my ear. “I’m not surprised you’re part dragon. You’re meant to fly.” 

I blushed.

Before I felt ready, we were entering the cave on a high hillside far from any villages. It was nearly midnight and my dragons must have been sleeping as I was greeted to the adorable sight of them stretching. They were the size of adult house cats. Still so small. I thought I had missed them growing. Apparently, they needed more time to gain height. My lips quivered as I watched them. 

There was so much for me to learn. I pushed aside that thought and focused on my sleepy dragons. They shook their heads and launched themselves at me. I kneeled down and took them into my arms. “Hello, Litushna.” I rubbed my hand over the yellow scales on her head. “Hello to you, Ravick.” I stared into his fire orange eyes. Those red tipped wings were as beautiful as I remembered. 

The dragons chirped. Litushna’s eyes were yellow and I could see the affection in them. Tears slipped down my cheeks. I couldn’t believe I was finally with them again.

“You two remember Lance, don’t you?” I looked back over my shoulder and nodded my chin. Lancelot hadn’t tried to intrude, but his presence gave me comfort.

Lancelot sat beside me. The dragons both looked him over before jumping out of my arms and into Lancelot’s lap. “Hello, sweet ones,” he said. They both sniffed him before curling around each other and falling back asleep.

“I think they like you,” I said. I leaned over to kiss him. “You helped me bring them into the world. All my dragons were aided by you. Even the ones whose birth you weren’t able to be there for. Your support has meant everything to me. My dragons will all know you. You’re family.”

Lancelot smiled. “I am grateful to be a part of your family.” He leaned into my shoulder. “And one day Kea will be old enough to meet her siblings.”

I looked forward to that day. I had never felt so at peace. We stayed with the dragons the rest of the night and left early in the morning. Parting from them was hard, but with Lancelot beside me I felt I could do anything.

Before Lancelot and I made the walk to the castle, Kilgharrah wanted to talk. “I think you are ready to learn how to control the change, Merlin. This may take some time to master. Afterwards, I will teach you how to fly, as I promised.” I excitedly made a preliminary schedule with him. He understood that my duties to Arthur came first. The plan was to see Kilgharrah in five days to start my practice.

We snuck back into the castle with my illusion spell. Though Lancelot had the day off, it was better that Arthur didn’t hear we’d left the citadel. It wasn’t quite noon yet. Gaius was seeing to the King. Kea was spending the day with Hunith. 

This left us to spend the next few hours alone. I undressed him with great care, kissing every bit of skin as it was revealed. “Please, Lance.” I begged. “My body is healed from all those births. Don’t make me wait anymore.” I’d been craving to be intimate with him in one certain way ever since I birthed Kea.

“I should let you beg more, but then you’d make me pay for it.” Lancelot kissed the tip of my nose when I started to grin. “To be fair, I’ve been wanting this too.”

I shimmied out of my clothes, making him laugh. I grabbed his hands and pulled him to the bed. “Then make it worth it.”

We stopped speaking with words. Only low moans and grunts expressed our desires. He was a tease. He kissed and bit down my body for an age before arriving at my hips. He lifted me up and began licking inside my hole. I babbled nonsense. He made me crazy with pleasure. When I thought I could come on just this, he pulled back and started to seriously prepare me with his fingers. Then finally it was time. I held onto him with all my strength as he entered me. 

Moving together this way was as amazing and magical as I remembered. Our connection felt stronger for me this way. He found new ways to push into me. From fast shallow thrusts to slow and deep. I had to fight to keep up with his changing rhythm. When my patience thinned, I wrapped my hand around my cock and started jerking off. He watched the movement of my hand with hooded eyes. I clenched around his cock in my own pattern. I tangled our tongues together as we fought for that peak. 

I let slip the control I had on my magic. It whooshed out of me and then swooped back into our bodies creating a heat inside us both that tripled our pleasure. His thrusts became fast and erratic. In moments, he was coming. As soon as I felt the warmth of his cum, ecstasy swamped over me. I pulled my mouth from his and screamed my pleasure. 

Once I could catch my breath, I looked around my bedroom. The walls were covered in vines of honeysuckle. 

“Smells wonderful in here,” Lancelot commented as he nuzzled my neck.

Giddy with my love for him, I laughed and laughed.

The next afternoon, I cornered Arthur in the armory. I pleaded with him until he finally agreed I could return to work as his manservant. “Just take it easy,” Arthur said. “Feel free to delegate what you’re not up for.” 

“Yes, Arthur.” Delegating would be necessary in the coming weeks. There was a great deal of work to do in preparation for Arthur’s birthday.

The End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading. I would love to hear feedback. I had so much fun writing and sharing this story.


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